This is the #SLAA Online Group website.
This is not the official SLAA website.

Best Viewed Sober

Welcome to the
#SLAA Online Group

of Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
on StarLink-IRC.Org IRC

SLAA logo


Behavior & Problems (Revised 7/17/11):

This section refers to our “behavior guidelines” and any problems with behavior.  If you are having technical problems connecting, please use the “Connecting To Chat” link for more information.

These behavior guidelines are just that — a list of suggested guidelines compiled over our room’s many years of existence to maintain the safety of all members.  Please review this section, as well as the section called “Guidelines,” for a full understanding of our room’s policies and procedures.  The channels’ “owners” (the current Chairperson and Co-Chairperson) along with the other officers and/or operators (OP’s) collectively have complete discretion in specific cases — especially where and when any discipline is involved.  However the channel must have consistency to be considered fair in dealing with everyone.   It will be rare when exceptions are made.  We always welcome suggestions.  Please send them to any OP (operator) or to

In maintaining the safety of our room, we endeavor to follow the SLAA © Twelve TraditionsSince our room is open 24/7, however, when a person if found to be in clear violation of our behavior guidelines, We find that issuing a warning, which may subsequently lead up to a ban if necessary, is sometimes needed to provide safety to all of our members that may arrive — especially newcomers in the room when there is not an operator available to handle problem resolution. We are also hosted by StarLink-IRC.Org, so we need to be mindful of their concerns, as well.

What behavior constitutes a problem?

  1. Members (or anyone) seeking to avoid a ban that is established in our room.  This page is a proactive attempt to inform participants about the few following courtesy rules — “behavior guidelines” — that have been long established by our group conscience.  In the rare instance of a [channel] ban (second offense), trying to circumvent this becomes a matter that StarLink-IRC.Org will assist with.  The likely result is a ban from connecting to them entirely (called a g-line or k-line).
  2. Members providing or supporting Warez (stolen software) distribution or acquisition.
  3. Members advertising/spamming any goods and/or services that involve a cost.
  4. Members soliciting, supporting or conducting sexual activities.
  5. Members advocating abuse of human rights, including cruelty, intolerance, child pornography, or similar subjects.
  6. Cloning or flooding for the purposes of disrupting the network or its users.
  7. Members seeking to actively suggest members to join “other” IRC servers than StarLink-IRC.Org.
  8. Members abusing private messages (PM), query, DCC-chat, or any DCC or CTCP function to systematically or repeatedly harass other members.
  9. Members engaging in flirting, racy talk, or attempting inappropriate sexual/social behaviors.  “No” means “NO.”
  10. Members consistently “cross-talking” during other member’s sharing in the main room.
  11. Member’s repeated use of toxic or triggering comments in a share if warned by others (anyone) that they are being inappropriate.  Bear in mind that we all have different issues and levels of sobriety, recovery, and tolerance.  If a person asks that you tone it down, please be respectful.
  12. Member’s repeated use of offensive language in a share if warned by other’s that they are being offensive.  (See note above.)
  13. As a fellowship, S.L.A.A. has no opinion on outside issues, and seeks no controversy.  S.L.A.A. is not affiliated with any other organizations, movements or causes, either religious or secular.  Members need to respect the religion(s) (or lack of religion), patriotism (or lack of patriotism), or opinions of all other members.
  14. Remaining in a room while not at your computer for long periods can under certain circumstances be considered an invasion of privacy. If an operator considers this a problem you will be kicked. If your computer is on auto-reconnect, you will be kicked and banned when your computer reconnects to the room. The ban will be lifted after five minutes, thus hoping to disable the auto-reconnect feature. It would typically occur if a member has been idle (away from keyboard) for more than 30 minutes if a meeting is about to start or between meetings if a member is sharing a very personal story, and 60 minutes in between meetings, so as to protect privacy in the room. OPs should query prior to kicking. Repeated long idle instances need not be queried prior to kicking. (Please note the reason for this policy is that an unmonitored computer can be viewed by anyone passing by, and therefore this policy will better ensure member privacy.) (9/15/03),(3/1/11), & (12/10/13).
  15. Members engaging in rumors about other members (whether from our room or other recovery rooms).
  16. Members harassing other members in any way or directly expressing anger toward other members.
  17. Members identifying themselves as a sex and/or love addict and/or avoidant, but are actually NOT a “qualified member” (or considering if they might be one) — in other words, being in the room without consideration that they, themself, might be a member desiring recovery or contemplating it.
  18. Non-members entering the room under the “assumed” nickname of their spouse or signficant-other or another member to obtain “inside” information about their spouse or significant-other or other members.
  19. Posting Weblinks unrelated to the Twelve Steps of Recovery, or which are political or religious in nature or otherwise considered controversial. Links which are posted must be clear that they are not affiliated with our group or SLAA as a whole if it is not from our website or from (minutes 6/1/10)
  20. Members having more than one nick name, (except for afk, or in the case of disconnect/reconnect) or Members using someone elses nickname in the room (12/6/11).

Does this apply to the #SLAA room between meetings?

  • Our group conscience suggests that the #SLAA room be considered as a 24/7 informal chat meeting.  While the regularly scheduled meetings take precedence over the informal chats, the room always falls under the Traditions and is therefore treated as a “meeting in progress” at all times.

How do we know if people in the #SLAA room are engaged in any inappropriate behavior?

  • This remains a difficult issue to resolve.  We never automatically “log” any conversations and cannot “see” private messages between members.  Therefore, we can only respond when you make a direct complaint by following the procedures listed in the “How do I report a problem?” section below.
  • If a problem arises in the #SLAA Online Group meeting room when you see an trusted servant (operator) present, please make them aware of the problem immediately.
  • While we do not allow “logging” of meetings, we encourage you to log any troublesome conversations with other member(s) — whether in the main room or in private messages — for the review of our room’s trusted servants.

Someone is being a problem for me.  What should I do?

  • The first step is to be clear with the other party about boundaries.  If that isn't sufficient, please seek out one or more of the Trusted Servants in the chat room (the one's with the “@” by their nickname).  If none are there — or you prefer — please forward any logs and details to the Trusted Servants at our regular address.  You can also type: /ignore nick in mIRC and this will silence whomever you do not wish to see, whether in private chat or in the main channel.

How do I report a problem?


If inappropriate behavior is reported, what action will occur?

A) Offender breaching the behavior guidelines need to be directly confronted in pm by and op or officer and issued a warning ( logging is allowed in this situation)

B) If the offender continues, de-voice them for a period of time up to a period of 10 minutes maximum, and post a written verbal warning in the main room

C) If the behavior continues kick them from the room with another written verbal warning in the main room

D) If the offender continues to breach the behavior guidelines after all the above actions have been taken, they are to be asked to come over to slaa2 with a minimum of two other ops or officers and confronted. They need to be told they had been warned and are now going to get a one day ban, and then issue a one day ban. A one day ban may be issued twice, and then a one week ban is put in place. After a one week ban a one month ban may be issued if needed. Two officers must be present in slaa2 upon the issue of a one week ban or more. Make sure to always report any ban in an email to slaaonline@yahoo and send any logs as well.

E) When a persons ban is expired an email needs to be sent to all ops informing them that the ban on the individual is up. This will prevent any conflicts or misunderstandings in the room.

F) If a person is found to be evading a ban, then and only then should channels become involved, as noted below

*When an Operator should go to Channels:

°When a person is found or suspected to be evading a ban or a G -line set by Channels

°When an Op is having trouble with technical issues

°For anything having to do with C-Star commands, such as fixing someones mask, etc.


The following guidelines belong to that of our Server: "Starlink" who are the owners of our Chat Room. We "rent" our chat room from them so to speak. Upon violation of the following of their rules, (see below) they may "Gline" a member (a ban placed by them which is usually permanent). Please be cognizant at all times that not only does SLAA have guidelines, but Starlink has guidelines that must be followed as well.

The founding members of StarLink-IRC, after due deliberation, adopted the following principles (From -

* The inherent and self-evident rights, authorities and responsibilities of Host Services, Channel Services, and Users shall not be abridged.
* StarLink-IRC exists for the sole purpose of providing its users with a safe, reliable, and secure place to chat.
* All Users shall, wherever possible, be provided timely assistance, support, and a voice in network.
* Deliberate abuse or harassment of persons or groups will not be tolerated

- Abuse of authority is absolutely prohibited and will be dealt with swiftly and severely.
- StarLink-IRC Operations shall deal immediately with any reports of abuse by members of StarLink-IRC organizations.
- Within a Channel, the Channel Manager defines allowable behavior and may deal with violators as they see fit.

StarLink-IRC balances the inherent rights of free speech and the rights of users. Although supportive of alternative viewpoints and lifestyles, StarLink-IRC will NOT support advocacy of intolerance or abuse of the rights or property of others. The following Special Restrictions apply:

Prohibited Activities:
@ Channels and users providing or supporting Warez (stolen software) distribution or acquisition.
@ Openly pornographic channels soliciting, supporting or conducting on-channel sexual activities.
@ Channels and/or users advocating abuse of human rights, including cruelty, intolerance, child pornography, or similar subjects.
@ Cloning or flooding for the purposes of disrupting the network or its users.
@ Repeated abuse of privmsg or DCC chat to systematically or repeatedly harass users.

Violators will be permanently and immediately removed from StarLink-IRC, possibly without warning or appeal. Relevant records of prohibited activities or advocacy may be provided to appropriate authorities for further action.