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This is not the official SLAA website.

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Welcome to the
#SLAA Online Group

of Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
on StarLink-IRC.Org IRC

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Books on Recovery:

Please note that the Basic Text (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous) and the pamphlets distributed by FWS are the only S.L.A.A. Conference-approved literature at this time. Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous neither endorses nor recommends the following books; they are identified only to provide individuals with the opportunity to learn about other material dealing with addiction to sex, love and relationships.S.L.A.A. Basic Text (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous) - paperback & e-book: http://store.slaafws.org/prod/BO-004.html

Category Author(s) Title
Addiction (Anonymous) Hope and Recovery: A Twelve Step Guide For Healing from Compulsive Sexual Behavior (2nd edition - Hazelden)
(by SLAA Fellowship-Wide Services) Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
Carnes, Patrick J Contrary To Love: Helping The Sexual Addict
Carnes, Patrick J Don’t Call It Love: Recovery From Sexual Addiction
Carnes, Patrick J Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction
Earle, Ralph H; Crow, Gregory; Osborn, Kevin Lonely All The Time: Recognizing, Understanding and Overcoming Sex Addiction, for Addicts and Co-Dependents
Anorexia Carnes, Patrick J; Moriarity, Jospeh Sexual Anorexia: Overcoming Sexual Self-hatred
Codependence Beattie, Melody Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
Beattie, Melody; Schaeffer, Brenda Talk, Trust, and Feel: Keeping Codependency Out of Your Life
Mellody, Pia; Miller, Andrea W; Miller, J Keith Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself The Power To Change the Way You Love: The Love Connection to Codependence
Mellody, Pia; Miller, Andrea Wells Breaking Free: A Recovery Workbook for Facing Codependence
Mellody, Pia; Miller, Andrea Wells; Miller, J Keith Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes From, How It Sabotages Our Lives
Weiss, Douglas; DeBusk, Diane Women Who Love Sex Addicts: Help for Healing from the Effects of a Relationship with a Sex Addict
Couples Canning-Fulton, Maureen Reclaiming Intimacy: Moving from Sexual Addiction to Healthy Sexuality: A Gentle Path for Continuing Recovery from Sexual Addiction
Schneider, Jennifer P; Schneider, Burt Sex, Lies and Forgiveness: Couples Speaking Out on Healing from Sexual Addiction
Love Peabody, Susan Addicted to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships
Schaeffer, Brenda Is It Love or Is It Addiction?: Falling Into Healthy Love
Professionals Cooper, Al (Ed.) Sex and the Internet: A Guidebook for Clinicians
Earle, Marcus; Earle, Ralph H; Osborn, Kevin Sex Addiction: Case Studies and Management
Religious Laaser, Mark R Faithful and True: Sexual Integrity in a Fallen World
Women Kasl, Charlotte Davis Women, Sex and Addiction: A Search for Love and Power
Schneider, Jennifer P Back from Betrayal: Recovering from his Affairs
Workbook (Anonymous) Hope and Recovery: The Workbook
Carnes, Patrick J A Gentle Path Through The Twelve Steps: The Classic Guide for All People in the Process of Recovery
Carnes, Patrick J Facing the Shadow: Starting Sexual and Relationship Recovery: A Gentle Path Workbook for Beginning Recovery from Sex Addiction
Delmonico, David L; Griffin, Elizabeth; Moriarity, Joseph M Cybersex Unhooked: A Workbook for Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior
Category Author(s) Title

 

For those members on a budget, a number of websites offer discounted and/or used books below retail.  Shop around for the best deals.  A few are:

For those members on a budget, a number of websites offer discounted and/or used books below retail. Shop around for the best deals. A few are:

addall.com (meta search of over 20 new and used book stores)

bublos.com (meta search of over 20 new and used book stores)

amazon.com (new and used books)

• Search engine google.com (type the ISBN number for results)

amazon.com/kindle (e-books are much cheaper!)

 

Author(s) Title Year ISBN Abstract Pages   Topic(s)
Amir Levine & Rachel Heller Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - and Keep - Love 2012 We rely on science to tell us everything from what to eat to when and how long to exercise, but what about relationships? Is there a scientific explanation for why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle? According to psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, the answer is a resounding "yes."

In Attached, Levine and Heller reveal how an understanding of adult attachment-the most advanced relationship science in existence today-can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways:

Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back

Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.

Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.

In this book Levine and Heller guide readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.

  Relationship Health
(Anonymous) Answers in the Heart: Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction 1995 0894865684 This meditation book guides readers the strength and courage within themselves that is necessary to face the lingering shadows of sex addiction, providing solace for the pain and inspiration for lasting recovery. 1 vol.   Meditations, Affirmations
(Anonymous) Answers in the Heart: Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction (illustrations by David Spohn) 1989 0062554174 This meditation book guides readers the strength and courage within themselves that is necessary to face the lingering shadows of sex addiction, providing solace for the pain and inspiration for lasting recovery. 1 vol.   Meditations, Affirmations
(Anonymous) Hope and Recovery: A Twelve Step Guide For Healing from Compulsive Sexual Behavior 1987
1989
1994
0896381021
0896381978
156838050X
The classic guide by and for those recovering from sexual addiction examines each of the Twelve Steps of recovery. Guides and supports the life-transforming move from self-defeating and destructive sexual behavior to healthy, affirming sexuality. By and for recovering people; offers a unique combination of practical help and healing insights: applies the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions to the problem of sex addiction; dozens of questions designed to help people assess the effects of obsessive sexual thoughts and compulsive sexual behaviors in their own lives; 19 personal stories from men and women who know, firsthand, the pain of addiction and also the peace and serenity of recovery. 350
360
327
  Sex Addiction Recovery
(Anonymous) Hope and Recovery: The Workbook 1990
1994
0896381986
1568381611
More than 300 questions follow the text of Hope and Recovery: A Twelve Step Guide for Healing from Compulsive Sexual Behavior, helping readers clarify issues related to compulsive sexual behavior. The resources here will guide you along a pathway of self-assessment, discovery, and fulfillment. 166
162
  Workbook, Sex Addiction Recovery
(Anonymous); Jennings, James What Everyone Needs to Know about Sex Addiction 1989 0896381714 This book contains the true detailed stories of a husband and wife. Both of them reveal how sex addiction affected them personally and as a couple. In addition to the pain of active addiction Frank and Jean tell the reader of the process of identification of the problem and the recovery process. One hundred and ten questions are provided as a way to assist the reader in determining if sex addiction is active in his or her own life. 55   Sex Addiction Recovery
(by RPI Publishing - Friends in Recovery with Pittman, Bill) Prayers for the Twelve Steps: A Spiritual Journey 1993 0941405281 The Twelve Steps -- A Spiritual Journey companion book of prayers. This inspirational guide, based on biblical references and twelve step insights, includes over 100 prayers of declaration, meditation intercession, thanksgiving, praise, and more. It reminds us how to develop a fulfilling personal style of prayer. 155   Recovery Prayers
(by RPI Publishing - Friends in Recovery with S, Jerry) Meditations for the Twelve Steps: A Spiritual Journey 1993 0941405214 The Twelve Steps -- A Spiritual Journey companion book of meditations. A richly written guide which can be used by individuals or groups, alone or in tandem with The Twelve Steps -- A Spiritual Journey. The authors include approximately ten reflections on each step, each with a Bible verse, a revealing lesson from their personal experiences, and a short prayer to affirm the lesson. 166   Meditations, Recovery
(by RPI Publishing - Friends in Recovery) The Twelve Steps: A Spiritual Journey: A Working Guide for Healing Damaged Emotions 1988 0941405443 The Twelve Steps -- A Spiritual Journey is a vehicle to move our people down the road to further discipleship and fellowship. When used in the group experience, it promotes unity and molds people together into the family of God 258   Workbook, Twelve Steps
(by RPI Publishing - Friends in Recovery) The Twelve Steps for Christians: Based on Biblical Teachings 1994 0941405478
0941405575
"The Twelve Steps for Christians, Revised edition" is a powerful resource for merging the practical wisdom of the Twelve Steps with the spiritual truths of the Bible. This combination of recovery and spirituality offers Christians an effective way to work a traditional Twelve-Step program and name Jesus Christ as their Higher Power. The authors have a theoretical understanding of the Twelve Steps as well as a persona understanding as a result of their own recovery journeys. They know from first-hand experience how God can use the spiritual essence of the Twelve Steps to transform broken lives, heal damaged emotions, and mend shattered relationships. Ideas of choosing and working with a recovery partner. "Step Overviews" to assist in understanding, working, and preparing for the step. "Helpful hints" to aid the reader in areas of prayer, meditation, and Bible study. Expanded examples for "Common Behavior Characteristics." "Key ideas" in each step to reinforce central concepts. 239   Twelve Steps
(by Recovering Couples Anonymous) Recovering Couples Anonymous: Big Book 1992
1992
1996
9992033746
096374951X
0963749528
122
140
  Relationship Recovery
(by SLAA Fellowship-Wide Services) Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous 1986 0961570113
0961570105
This is the "Basic Text" for SLAA-FWS and is S.L.A.A. Fellowship-Wide Service Conference-approved literature. 281
280
  Sex and Love Addiction Recovery
(by SLAA Fellowship-Wide Services) SLAA Conference Service Manual 2002 This manual was created from the materials and experiences of many different SLAA members and people who have contributed to the SLAA service structure since the implementation of the Annual Business Meeting (ABM) in 1982. It includes SLAA ByLaws and Annual Business Meeting motions. 194   Service Manual
(by SLAA Fellowship-Wide Services) SLAA FWS Newsletter (quarterly by subscription) Per. SLAA-FWS publishes a quarterly newsletter with news and information on SLAA business and events. Examples of items you might read about are issues related to the Steps and Traditions, reports from the Board of Trustees and the FWS Office, contribution information, updates, upcoming events, and more. Each registered group or Intergroup automatically receives an issue of the Newsletter. If you would like to receive the newsletter for a two year period, please make a
$5.00 or more donation to help defray some of the costs for printing and postage.
  Subscription
(by SLAA Fellowship-Wide Services) SLAA Pamphlet: 12 Recommended Guidelines for Dealing with Media/Public Relations Opportunities for Use at All Levels of the SLAA Fellowship A pamphlet published by SLAA-FWS for use by members and trusted servants.   Pamphlet
(by SLAA Fellowship-Wide Services) SLAA Pamphlet: 40 Questions for Self Diagnosis One of nine pamphlets published by SLAA-FWS for distribution at meetings. While they cost
$0.75, they are usually distributed free at local meetings to newcomers. They are excerpted at http://www.slaafws.org/pamphlets/Pamphlets.html
  Pamphlet
(by SLAA Fellowship-Wide Services) SLAA Pamphlet: Addiction and Recovery One of nine pamphlets published by SLAA-FWS for distribution at meetings. While they cost
$0.75, they are usually distributed free at local meetings to newcomers. They are excerpted at http://www.slaafws.org/pamphlets/Pamphlets.html
  Pamphlet
(by SLAA Fellowship-Wide Services) SLAA Pamphlet: An Introduction to S.L.A.A. One of nine pamphlets published by SLAA-FWS for distribution at meetings. While they cost
$0.75, they are usually distributed free at local meetings to newcomers. They are excerpted at http://www.slaafws.org/pamphlets/Pamphlets.html
  Pamphlet
(by SLAA Fellowship-Wide Services) SLAA Pamphlet: Anorexia: Sexual, Social, Emotional One of nine pamphlets published by SLAA-FWS for distribution at meetings. While they cost
$0.75, they are usually distributed free at local meetings to newcomers. They are excerpted at http://www.slaafws.org/pamphlets/Pamphlets.html
  Pamphlet
(by SLAA Fellowship-Wide Services) SLAA Pamphlet: Questions Beginners Ask One of nine pamphlets published by SLAA-FWS for distribution at meetings. While they cost
$0.75, they are usually distributed free at local meetings to newcomers. They are excerpted at http://www.slaafws.org/pamphlets/Pamphlets.html
Pamphlet
(by SLAA Fellowship-Wide Services) SLAA Pamphlet: Sponsorship: A Return from Isolation One of nine pamphlets published by SLAA-FWS for distribution at meetings. While they cost
$0.75, they are usually distributed free at local meetings to newcomers. They are excerpted at http://www.slaafws.org/pamphlets/Pamphlets.html
Pamphlet
(by SLAA Fellowship-Wide Services) SLAA Pamphlet: Suggestions for Newcomers One of nine pamphlets published by SLAA-FWS for distribution at meetings. While they cost
$0.75, they are usually distributed free at local meetings to newcomers. They are excerpted at http://www.slaafws.org/pamphlets/Pamphlets.html
Pamphlet
(by SLAA Fellowship-Wide Services) SLAA Pamphlet: Supporting SLAA the 60/40 Way A pamphlet published by SLAA-FWS for use by members and trusted servants pertaining to how 7th traditions are suggested being distributed. Pamphlet
(by SLAA Fellowship-Wide Services) SLAA Pamphlet: Welcome! One of nine pamphlets published by SLAA-FWS for distribution at meetings. While they cost
$0.75, they are usually distributed free at local meetings to newcomers. They are excerpted at http://www.slaafws.org/pamphlets/Pamphlets.html
Pamphlet
(by SLAA Fellowship-Wide Services) SLAA Pamphlet: Withdrawal One of nine pamphlets published by SLAA-FWS for distribution at meetings. While they cost
$0.75, they are usually distributed free at local meetings to newcomers. They are excerpted at http://www.slaafws.org/pamphlets/Pamphlets.html
Pamphlet
(by SLAA Fellowship-Wide Services) SLAA World Directory 2001 The World Directory includes over 720 US meetings and 900 others world-wide. A new directory will be printed toward to end of each year. Directory
(by SLAA Fellowship-Wide Services) The Journal (bi-monthly SLAA meeting in print by subscription) Per.   about 30   Subscription
(by Sexaholics Anonymous) Recovery Continues 1990 The various papers included here (24 personal stories) continue the story of recovery first described in the book, Sexaholics Anonymous. Most of these originated as personal inventories of common events in day-to-day living 97 Sex Addict Rehabilitation
(by Sexaholics Anonymous) Sexaholics Anonymous (the "White Book") 1989 0962288705 A powerful book which is the basic text for S.A. This text provides the most in depth and comprehensive strategies for overcoming sexual addiction and dependency. The book opens with a powerful story of one man's recovery and how the program works. A synopsis of the addictive process is outlined. Then the 12 steps of S.A. are outlined (adapted from A.A) as well as practical suggestions for applying them in your life. SA's sobriety definition is strictly no sex outside of a heterosexual marriage. 212 Sex Addiction Recovery
(by Tyndale House Publishers) The Life Recovery Bible: New Living Translation 1998 084233341X
0842333428
0842333436
With the Life Recovery Bible you can experience true healing through a variety of notes, book introductions, and devotionals based on the twelve steps of recovery. This unique Bible will lead you to the true source of healing -- God himself. 1664
1635
1664
  Bible, 12-steps
(by Tyndale House Publishers) The Life Recovery Bible: The Living Bible: The 12 Step Bible for People in Recovery 1992 0842320830
0842328092
0842328270
With the Life Recovery Bible you can experience true healing through a variety of notes, book introductions, and devotionals based on the twelve steps of recovery. This unique Bible will lead you to the true source of healing -- God himself. 1568
1537
1537
Bible, 12-steps
Ackeman, Robert J; Pickering, Susan E. Before It's Too Late: Helping Women in Abusive or Controlling Relationships 1995 1558743456 This book offers straightforward answers to the most frequently asked questions about women in controlling or abusive relationships. Robert Ackerman and Susan Pickering reveal the warning signs of controlling relationships and how women get caught in them; the most common reasons for staying in a controlling relationship and how women can protect themselves; how women can leave when they still love their partners or believe they're needed; where safe places for women are and how to get help; how the children are affected and what help is available to them and how alcohol and drug abuse affect controlling behavior and abuse. Also included are self-assessment tests -- such as how to determine if you are in a controlling relationship -- to help women identify not only high-risk men, but also some of their own high-risk behaviors. This book is the first to handle head-on the role of alcohol and other controlled substances -- whether used by the abuser or the victim -- in a controlling or abusive relationship. The appendix is an excellent resource for women who need help, giving addresses and phone numbers of supportive organizations in every state. More importantly, this book shows that women still have time to get the help they deserve -- before it's too late. 175 Boundaries
Adams, Christine A Love, Infidelity and Sexual Addiction: A Codependent's Perspective 2000 0059515900 Love, Infidelity and Sexual Addiction answers questions about the real nature of sexual betrayal. When is it sexual addiction? How can you tell if your partner is sexually addicted? What is it doing to you? What can you do to help the situation? This book answers these important questions. Love, Infidelity and Sexual Addiction is an honest sharing of a trust betrayed. It chronicles author Christine Adams' personal experiences with a sexually addicted spouse as well as stories of others in various stages of recovery from co-addiction. This book offers hope and healing to those who have suffered from repeated betrayal. It details a system of spiritual and emotional self-help including chapters defining Sexual Addiction and Co-addiction, The Shame-based Family and The Spiritually Centered Family, Signs of Obsession, Compulsive Behavior, Finding Self, The Solution, A Healthy Relationship, and Forgiveness. 156 Sex Addiction, Codependency, Love
Adams, Kenneth M Silently Seduced: When Parents Make their Children Partners: Understanding Covert Incest 1991 1558741313 When a parent's love for a child is more expecting than giving, more jealous than trusting, more confining than freeing, more intrusive than nurturing, the child can become trapped in a "psychological marriage" with the parent, becoming a victim of covert incest. Identification of this problem is often difficult, for the victim often feels idealized and privileged rather than violated and abused. In Silently Seduced, Dr. Adams, through illustrative case examples and perceptive insight, provides covert incest victims a framework to understand what happened to them, how their lives and relationships continue to be affected and how to begin the process of recovery. 118   Sex and Incest Abuse, Sex Addiction
Adamse, Michael; Motta, Sheree Affairs of the Net: The Cybershrinks' Guide to Online Relationships 2000 1558747877 Every day the media bombards us stories about people connecting through the Internet. In all this hype, there remains so much confusion and misconceptions as to what is really happening and why people feel the need to connect with others online. The truth is, that in a world of stalkings, STDs and increasing violence, people are searching for intimacy -- possibly more than ever before. Therapists and Cybershrinks Michael Adamse and Sheree Motta use their expertise as relationship counselors to examine the most important content on the Internet: emotion. They look inside online relationships and answer the whos, hows, and whys. Included are profiles of personalities you're likely to meet in chat rooms and instant messaging; the differences between men and women online; friendships, romances, and affairs in cyberspace; what cybersex really involves; and warning signs to help identify when normal computer use has become an addiction. Containing real online conversations and first-person situations, this book is a valuable Internet users' guide and one of the most important books on relationships available today. It is fascinating reading for both newbies and pros -- for those looking for companionship online and those interested in "just looking". Previously released as "Online Friendship Chat-Room Romance and Cybersex." 250 Cybersex, Cyberaddiction
Alter, Robert M; Alter, Jane The Transformative Power of Crisis: Our Journey to Psychological Healing and Spiritual Awakening 2000 0060392762 A husband-and-wife team of psychologists present a unique and provocative book on healing, incorporating spirituality into the study of the human psyche. Fascinating case studies, as well as provocative parables, demonstrate how sensitivity and kindness can heal one's psychic wounds and those of loved ones. For every reader in need of comfort and inspiration during difficult times -- as well as being essential reading for all mental health professionals. Like the highly readable and bestselling works of Oliver Sacks, authors Robert and Jane Alter use fascinating case studies, as well as provocative parables, to demonstrate how sensitivity and kindness can heal one's psychic wounds and those of loved ones. For every reader in need of comfort and inspiration during difficult times -- as well as being essential reading for all mental health professionals 304 Spiritual Life
Amodeo, John Love and Betrayal: Broken Trust in Intimate Relationships 1994
1996
0345378563
0345910958
The coauthor of Being Intimate discusses the impact of betrayal on personal relationships and explains how couples can overcome anger, jealousy, shame, and other negative emotions to reaffirm personal worth and promote healing. Broken trust is one of the most painful experiences we face as human beings. By by courageously confronting the inevitable abandonments, rejections, and heartbreaks that life brings us, we can embrace our hurts, discover new aspects of ourselves, and find a greater degree of safety in relationships and life. In Love and Betrayal, Dr. John Amodeo explores the many forms betrayal can take, from keeping secrets and negative gossip to breaking promises and sexual infidelity. In the process, Dr. Amodeo shows you how to heal the wounds of past betrayals, and how to cultivate a climate of love and trust in your current relationships. John Amodeo's compassionate approach stresses the importance of taking responsibility for moving forward, rather than clinging to the pseudo-comfort of being a victim. He teaches you how to reaffirm your worth and move toward real healing, which moves you toward love relationships that are truly fulfilling. 304 Relationship Health, Intimacy
Anderson, Neil T A Way of Escape: Freedom from Sexual Strongholds 1998 1565078276 Talking about sex is never easy...but while we are silent, Satan takes aim to destroy lives. We've all faced sexual struggles at one time or another. For those who feel caught by unwanted thoughts, compulsive habits, or a painful past, A Way of Escape provides concrete steps to overcome the bondage of sexual strongholds and win the battle for your mind. This is for either new Christians, or mature ones, for teens and adults Specific Topics: Overcoming unwanted sexual thoughts, and compulsive habits Theological slant: Evangelical. Main Theme: "breaking the bondage of sexual strongholds." [Please note that this book is different from his 1994 "A Way of Escape" book co-authored with Russell S Rummer -- 1565071700] 240 Sex Addiction (religious)
Apgar, Kathryn Overcoming Relationship Addiction: A Workshop for Women who Love Too Much 1991 0873042395 94 Relationship Addiction
Arterburn, Stephen Addicted to "Love" 1991 0892836997 Stephen Arterburn examines what this "love" addiction looks like, who it afflicts and what you can do if you suspect that your spouse, friend, or family member may be suffering from it. Arterburn points the way to psychological and spiritual healing. 287 Relationship and Sex Addiction (Christian View)
Arterburn, Stephen Addicted to "Love": Recovering from Unhealthy Dependencies in Romance, Relationships and Sex 1992 0892838027 Stephen Arterburn examines what this "love" addiction looks like, who it afflicts and what you can do if you suspect that your spouse, friend, or family member may be suffering from it. Arterburn points the way to psychological and spiritual healing. 288 Relationship and Sex Addiction (Christian View)
Arterburn, Stephen Addicted to "Love": Understanding Dependencies of the Heart: Romance, Relationships and Sex 1995 0892839309 Stephen Arterburn examines what this "love" addiction looks like, who it afflicts and what you can do if you suspect that your spouse, friend, or family member may be suffering from it. Arterburn points the way to psychological and spiritual healing. 307 Relationship and Sex Addiction (Christian View)
Arterburn, Stephen; Stoeker, Fred Every Young Man's Battle: Strategies For Victory in the Real World of Sexual Temptation 2002 1578565375 In this world you're surrounded by sexual images that open the door to temptation. They're everywhere -- on TV, billboards, magazines, music, the internet -- and so easy to access that it sometimes feels impossible to escape their clutches. Yet God expects his children to be sexually pure. So how can you survive the relentless battle against temptation? Here's powerful ammunition. Steve Arterburn and Fred Stoeker, the authors of the hard-hitting best-seller Every Man's Battle, now focus on the temptations young single Christian men like you face every day -- and they offer workable, biblical strategies for achieving sexual purity.The authors examine the standard of Ephesians 5:3 -- "there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality" -- in a positive and sensitive light. And they explain how an authentic, vibrant relationship with Jesus Christ is the key to victory over temptation. Every Young Man's Battle will show you how to train your eyes and your mind, how to clean up your thought life, and how to develop a realistic battle plan for remaining pure in today's sexually soaked culture. As a result, you'll experience hope -- real hope -- for living a strong, pure life God's way. 240 Sex Addiction Recovery (Christian)
Arterburn, Stephen; Stoeker, Fred; Yorkey, Mike Every Man's Battle Workbook: The Path to Sexual Integrity Starts Here 2002 1578565529 This is the comprehensive workbook Christian men have been waiting for: the companion workbook to the liberating message of "Every Man's Battle." This workbook guides readers through serious Bible study, intense examination of their personal lives, and honest application of biblical truth. In these practical, real-life lessons -- easy to use by individuals or groups. Men will find realistic help straight from God's Word to actively train their eyes and their minds. "Personal Journey into God's Word" sections include reflective exploration of topics such as God's holiness, your power for victory, God's veiw of true manhood, God's gift of purity, your deepest desires, and many others. Through this new workbook, Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker will guide countless men through self-discovery and Bible study -- and help equip them with a practical battle plan to live a pure life God's way. 112 Sex Addiction Recovery (religious)
Arterburn, Stephen; Stoeker, Fred; Yorkey, Mike Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time 2000 1578563682 From the television to the Internet, print media to videos, men are constantly faced with the assault of sensual images. It is impossible to avoid such temptations...but, thankfully, not impossible to rise above them. Shattering the perception that men are unable to control their thought lives and roving eyes, Every Man's Battle shares the stories of dozens who have escaped the trap of sexual immorality and presents a practical, detailed plan for any man who desires sexual purity-perfect for men who have fallen in the past, those who want to remain strong today, and all who want to overcome temptation in the future. Includes a special section for women, designed to help them understand and support the men they love. 224 Sex Addiction Recovery (religious)
B, Hamilton Twelve Step Sponsorship: How It Works 1996 1568381220 Twelve Step Sponsorship is the first complete handbook for working with a newcomer. Based on Twelve Step traditions and knowledge passed orally through the generations, this working manual defines the sponsorship role and guides sponsors through the rewards and pitfalls of reaching out to help new program members. 257 Twelve Steps, Sponsoring, Alcoholism
Bass, Ellen; Davis, Laura Beginning to Heal: A First Book for Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse 1993 006096927X For all women just beginning to heal from child sexual abuse, an introduction to the healing process based on the groundbreaking and national bestselling classic "The Courage to Heal." This is a guide to healing from childhood sexual abuse, and includes words of inspiration, explanations of each stage of the healing journey, practical ideas, and first-person accounts. Chapter topics include: healing is possible; the decision to heal; understanding that it wasn't your fault; the child within; and more, all written under a tone of support. 107 Trauma
Beattie, Melody Beyond Codependency: And Getting Better All the Time 1989
1990
1991
1996
0062554182
0062554085
0802726496
0894865838
This follow-up book to the best-selling classic Codependent No More shows how recovery continues by developing positive ways of relating to others. Personal stories and suggested activities provide a frame-work for growth and change. 252 Codependency
Beattie, Melody Codependent No More and Beyond Codependency 1989
2001
0062553844
1567312187
Where recovery began for many people, this inspiring, straightforward, personal explanation of what codependency is and who has it gives listeners the option to change unhealthy behaviors and stressful relationships, as they rediscover hope, guidance, and encouragement. Much of the attention in our self-help-absorbed world is focused on the addict -- the compulsive, chemically dependent person who uses alcohol or other drugs to anesthetize the pain of day-to-day living. But what about the other victims of addiction -- the spouses, families, and caretakers suffering (not so quietly) in the background, so involved in the addict's problems that they are unable to identify and solve their own? There are myriad books and programs dealing with addiction, but only a handful of them address the specific issues of codependency. This two-books-in-one volume provides a complete blueprint for codependent recovery. Written with warmth, gentleness, and great compassion by Melody Beattie, "Codependent No More" has been a healing touchstone for millions, pointing the way to a lifetime of health, hope, and happiness. Its sequel "Beyond Codependency" journeys to the very heart of recovery to address many important issues. Two classic books in the field of mental health. 242 Codependency
Beattie, Melody Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself 1987
1992
2001
0062554468
0894864025
1568387385
In 1987, Melody Beattie introduced the term "codependent" into our national psyche, hitting a nerve. The attitudes, feelings, and behaviors Beattie explored in her groundbreaking book are now recognized as the hallmarks of codependency. Recovery has begun for millions of individuals with this straightforward guide. Through personal examples and exercises, readers are shown how controlling others forces them to lose sight of their own needs and happiness. Beattie reveals the futility of trying to control someone else's behavior, and the freedom that comes from taking responsibility for yourself. [The 2001 edition is limited, includes a new preface, and are personally signed.] 229
250
250
  Codependency
Beattie, Melody Codependents' Guide to the Twelve Steps 1990
1993
0131400541
0671762273
From the bestselling author of "Codependent No More" and "Beyond Codependency" -- here is an important guide to using the Twelve Steps specifically for codependent issues. It includes tips on how to evaluate programs, a practical guide to each of the Twelve Steps, specific exercises and activities to use both in group settings and on one's own, and a directory of the wide range of Twelve Step programs -- including Al-Anon, Codependents Anonymous, Codependents of Sex Addicts, Adult Children of Alcoholics, and more. 224
273
Codependency, 12-steps
Beattie, Melody Journey to the Heart: Daily Meditations on the Path to Freeing Your Soul 1996 0062511211 In the spirit of her bestselling The Language of Letting Go, America's most beloved inspirational writer guides us on a sacred journey as we learn to expand our creativity, embrace our powers, and open our hearts. Writing with the same warmth, honesty, and compassion that has attracted such a loyal following, Melody Beattie now charts an new path toward spiritual growth and renewal. In 365 insightful and delightfully warm daily reflections, Journey to the Heart will comfort and inspire us all as we begin to discover out true purpose in the world and learn to connect even more deeply. 384 Spiritual Meditations
Beattie, Melody More Language of Letting Go: 366 New Daily Meditations by Melody Beattie 2000 1568385587 The author of "The Language of Letting Go", one of the most enduring books on healing from codependency, once again distills her compassionate insights on how to nurture spiritual and emotional health and recovery with 365 new daily meditations on letting go. 412 Codependency Meditations
Beattie, Melody The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations for Codependents 1990
1993
0062553895
0062552910
Concentrating on self-esteem and acceptance, this book offers meditations for men and women recovering from codependency and aids them in their attempt to gain control of their lives. 393 Codependency Meditations
Beattie, Melody; Schaeffer, Brenda (Schneider, Jennifer P; Ray, Veronica) Talk, Trust, and Feel: Keeping Codependency Out of Your Life 1992
1993
0894867962
034537455X
Codependency is a relationship problem and at times many of us feel frustrated by its relentless pull. Although we've learned to recognize the pitfalls, we need daily reinforcement to deepen our recovery process and keep it moving forward. For all of us recovering from codependency, especially those working the Twelve Steps, "Talk, Trust, and Feel" offers inspiring perspectivves from Hazelden's leading voices. The book guides us in our practice of new behaviors that allow us to honor ourselves and other people as we move through recovery. Brian DesRoches provides the key to our greatest challenge in working through conflict -- to let go of our desire to change the other person. Veronica Ray discusses delusions and misconceptions about caretaking, and how to take responsibility for self, letting others do the same, with love. And Melody Beattie redefines "relapse" as "recycling" -- a normal occurrence in every recovery that gives us a chance to work and learn. Reassuring insights from these and other special Hazelden authors make this collection a vital tool for all of us continuing on our journey toward wholeness. 170
224
Codependency
Bechtal, Stefan The Practical Encyclopedia of Sex and Health 1993 0875961630 Every person should have this book in their home. Men and women of all ages will benefit from using this information that has been so accurately and tastefully presented. The book answers thousands of questions that many people are afraid or too embarassed to ask. Even though the book was written in the early 90's, it has up to date information on human sexuality and health issues. This book covers everything from stress, hormones, potency, vasectomy, and yeast infections, to performance and sex aids. It also has chapters on desire, the g-spot, homosexuality, std's, hysterectomy, oral sex, orgasm, spermicides, premature ejaculation, pregnancy, childbirth, puberty, fantacies, dreams, cancer, castration, circumcision, and much much more. The book is packed with sound advise, well written, and contains a great source of information. 365   Sexual Health
Bellafiore, Donna R Straight Talk About Betrayal: A Self-Help Guide for Couples 1999 0966875907 This book is help and hope for relationships wounded by infidelity, gently helping couples normalize their responses to the trauma. It is short, to the point, and valuable to both parties. 48 Affairs
Berzon, Betty Permanent Partners: Building Gay and Lesbian Relationships That Last 1990 0452263085 Today, more than ever before, gay and lesbian couples want long-lasting, fulfilling, happy relationships. But in order to accomplish this, the notion of "partnership" itself must be radically reinvented. Gay men and lesbians must learn to imbue relationships with the same importance that their heterosexual counterparts do -- in a society that still offers none of the same support. This book, written by a psychotherapist who specializes in working with lesbian and gay male couples, offers clear, compassionate advice and counseling on the internal and external problems faced by two men or two women as they create a life together. Warmly supportive, Dr. Betty Berzon draws on real-life examples from her professional practice and her own long-term partnership to help couples improve communications, "fight fair," resolve conflicts, and affirm both their love and their commitment in a relationship that works today, tomorrow, and forever. 349 GLBT commitment
Berzon, Betty Positively Gay: New Approaches in Gay and Lesbian Life 1992
2001
0890876762
1587610957
First published in 1979 and greatly expanded in 1992, this is new updated and revised in 2001. It is a compendium of information on every aspect of gay life, including ideas on having a successful relationship, resolving religious dilemmas and those impacted by AIDS. 296
328
  GLBT Sexual Health
Bireda, Martha R Love Addiction: A Guide to Emotional Independence 1990 0934986924
0934986916
A successful counselor offers clear guidance for all those who have difficulty in setting limits and boundaries within a love relationship, describing how circular, illogical, and addicitive thoughts ar the fuel that keeps a love addict functioning. 182   Love Addiction
Bishop, Jacqui; Grunte, Mary How to Love Yourself When You Don't Know How: Healing All Your Inner Children 1991 0882681311 The notion that each of us carries around an inner child has been widely explored in popular psychology; this ground-breaking book takes the premise one step further, describing an interior model for the individual based on the metaphor of the family. Everyone, say the authors, is really made up of an inner family -- several children of various ages and characters, each of whom vies for control in one's life, as well as an inner grown-up capable of learning to care for them. The book's aim is to help the reader re-educate the inner grown-up to love unconditionally, opening the way for profound healing of psychic wounds. Written as a self-help manual to be used by the reader alone or with the help of a "healing companion," How to Love Yourself proves that self-love and recovery can be achieved through an understanding of the often fractured family within. 192 Self-love, Inner Child
Black, Claudia A Double Duty, Sexually Abused 1990 0910223157 Incest is an overwhelming, damaging, and humiliating assault on a child's mind, soul, and body. When sexual abuse takes place in an already dysfunctional alcoholic family the likelihood of the abuse continuing is greater, which compounds the damage. Time alone does not heal these wounds. The stories in this book will demonstrate recovery is possible. 81 Problem Families
Blanchard, Geral T The Difficult Connection: The Therapeutic Relationship in Sex Offender Treatment 1995
1998
1884444156 This book is an introduction to treatment of involuntary clients. It deals with how to overcome personal feelings of frustration and anger that impede the development of a therapeutic relationship with clients. 76 Sex Offender Rehabilitation
Blinder, Martin; Lynch, Carmen Choosing Lovers: Patterns of Romance, How You Select Partners In Intimacy, the Ways You Connect, and Why You Break Apart 1989 0944435041 Choosing Lovers, an all-encompassing picture of romantic relationships in all their richness and complexity, provides answers to questions everyone considers: Why of all the people in the world have I fallen in love with him/her? Do I send out some signal that attracts one kind of lover and puts off others? What are the warning signs of love in danger? The author strikes a new chord with a higher level of literary insight, marshalling unique perspectives culled from years of successful practice. It takes the fear out of choosing new lovers. 222   Relationship Health
Blumenthal, Erik To Understand and Be Understood: A Practical Guide to Successful Relationships 1998 1568382294 Despite dramatic strides in intellectual, scientific, and technical spheres, despite myriad religious teachings and recent developments in sociology, psychology, and political science that contribute much to our knowledge of how humans interrelate, many people continue to struggle in their relationships with family members, friends, and acquaintances. A down-to-earth guide with a refreshingly original approach, To Understand and Be Understood shows how to put what we know about relating to others into practice. Written in a warm, anecdotal fashion, the book is broken into numerous brief essays illustrated with true-to-life examples and everyday experiences with which anyone can identify. Each essay illuminates a simple, easy-to-use principle -- 'Decide more consciously', 'Distinguish between the doer and the deed', 'Do not compare yourself', 'Look for the positive', 'Don't expect a reward for good deeds', and 'Live more consciously', for example. 160 Interpersonal Relations, Marriage
Bradshaw, John Bradshaw on the Family: A Revolutionary Way of Self Discovery 1988 0932194540 Based on the television series of the same name, Bradshaw focuses on the dynamics of the family, how the rules and attitudes learned while growing up become encoded within each family member. Probably the most important book written about the discovery of yourself through your family history. A real eye-opener on the social illness that is passed on from generation to generation in families. 246 Family
Bradshaw, John Creating Love: The Next Great Stage of Growth 1992 0553075101
0553373056
Bradshaw's phenomenal bestseller Homecoming introduced the concept of the inner child to a vast new audience. With this book, he moves beyond the wounded child to show how all of us, whatever our backgrounds, can build loving adult relationships in "the next great stage of growth." John Bradshaw is a major international figure in the self-help and recovery movement. In this important and inspiring book he looks at why so many relationships ultimately fail and why other love relationships thrive and are filled with wonder, curiosity and joy. Creating Love is positive and practical. It offers an escape from negative, repeating patterns and provides a new way to understand and transform your most crucial relationships -- with parent and child, with yourself, with lovers, friends and marriage partners, and with the world around you. 304
370
Love
Bradshaw, John Family Secrets, What You Don't Know Can Hurt You 1995 0553095919 With a quarter-million-copy first printing, simultaneous audiobook release, and a new PBS series, self-help psychology guru Bradshaw returns with a vengeance. The subject of his multimedia barrage is the bad stuff family members hide from each other. These dark secrets, as Bradshaw calls them, range from relatively undamaging events concerning death, birth, and suffering to severely, even criminally harmful acts, including alcoholism, incest, and murder. In the book's three major parts, Bradshaw distinguishes healthy from unhealthy secrets, proffers a tool for self-ascertainment of family secrets, and counsels those who unearth dark secrets on what to do with their discoveries. In an appendix, he distinguishes the much-publicized phenomenon of repressed memory from false memory syndrome. The latter, he says, though vociferously advocated by those victimized by family members claiming to recall incest and other enormities, has not been clearly defined by clinicians. He does not, however, clearly indicate what clinicians like him mean when they say, as he does in "A Final Word of Caution," "The traumatic abuse of children by their guardians and relatives occurs with great frequency." What is "great frequency" ? Is this a statement about Bradshaw's clientele, or is he asserting that American society is rife with interfamilial abuse? If the former, it's understandable; if the latter, many will condemn Bradshaw, not unjustifiably, for being an alarmist bent on aggrandizing his trade. 297 Family
Bradshaw, John Healing the Shame That Binds You 1988 0932194869 Bradshaw shows us how toxic shame is the core problem in our compulsions, co-dependencies, addictions and the drive to super-achieve. The result is a breakdown in the family system and our inability to go forward with our lives. Drawing from more than two decades of experience as a counselor, Bradshaw offers readers healing techniques that will help free themselves from the shame that binds them to the past. 235 Shame
Bradshaw, John Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child 1990
1992
0553057936
0553353896
Bradshaw's Homecoming re-creates the transformative experiences of his workshops, in which participants learn to understand and mourn the damage done to their inner child -- the core self with which we are born and which is damaged and hidden when the growing child adapts to life in a dysfunctional family. 288
304
Inner Child, Self-actualization
Breton, Denise; Largent, Christopher Paradigm Conspiracy: Why Our Social Systems Violate Our Human Potential -- and How We Can Change Them 1996
1998
1568381069
1568382081
This well-researched book exposes the addictive paradigms that bind us to society (and often to one another) and hinder our growth as free-thinking individuals and then provides a new framework through which we can approach our lives and view the world. 275
387
Social Systems, Mind and Body, Change
Brooks, Gary R The Centerfold Syndrome: How Men Can Overcome Objectification and Achieve Intimacy with Women 1995 0787901040 Gary R. Brooks, Ph.D., is an associate professor in psychiatry and behavioral science with the Texas A&M University Health Sciences Center. It's no secret that millions of men read magazines like Playboy and Penthouse and lust after bikini-clad models. After all, guys will be guys, and what's the harm? Plenty! claims the author of this ground-breaking book that shows how many so-called normal male attitudes toward sex are actually harmful and destructive. He identifies the five principal symptoms of this pervasive disorder: voyeurism (I can't stop watching gorgeous women), objectification (obsessive fetishism over body parts that interferes with the ability to have relationships with an actual person; the need for validation (women have great power to make or break my sense of masculinity), trophyism (Beautiful women are collectibles that show the world who a man is) and the fear of intimacy (I'm desperately lonely but deeply fearful of getting too close.) Here is the first candid analysis of how boys are conditioned to pursue airbrushed photo fantasies, and how they're brought up to depend upon and yet fear the perceived power women hold over them as gatekeepers to a previous commodity - their objectified bodies! And even more importantly how this syndrome prevents true emotional intimacy between men and women. But he also offers a way to overcome this destructive malady. Using actual case histories and transcripts from groups he has led over many years, he documents how a variety of men from different backgrounds have struggled to escape the depersonalization, the isolation and the sense of frustration and powerlessness in this syndrome. Both men and women will appreciate the candor in this book. He offers specifis guildelines and practical plans of action for all of us in our various roles - as friends, lovers, partners, husbands, wives, parents, responsbile citizens -- in an era of changing gender relations. 244 Pornography, Intimacy
Brzeczek, Richard; Brzecaek, Elizabeth; DeVita, Sharon Addicted to Adultery : How We Saved Our Marriage and How You Can Save Yours 1989 0553053973 240 Relationship Recovery
Burney, Robert Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls 1995 0964838311 A startling and persuasive new take on the new age by a Twelve Step enthusiast. With a compelling writing style that doesn't just dance around the subject... He works with wounded souls in his private practice, repairing dysfunctional attitudes about human perfection. And his message is clear. We are not just human creatures stumbling around finding ways to earn and justify a spiritual nature. Just the opposite. We are Spiritual beings having a human experience. And Burney drills home his zealous message. "We are not being punished." He examines organized religions, scientific principles, the scourge of aids, other human conditions. And concludes that it's time we healed, purged punishment, found our spiritual purpose, enjoyed life. He also confronts some of the new age channelers and psychics who shake fingers at those who fall to common human frailty. Readers will find a penetrating synthesis of Twelve Step Recovery, contemporary and ancient principles in his Cosmic Perspective. Burney's comments are innovative and inspiring, and may just be the answer for so many seeking spiritual guidance. They ring of honesty, and they will cause many to ponder. 127 Codependence
Cameron, Julia; Bryan, Mark Artist's Way, A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity 1992
1995
0874776945
0874778212
Asserting that creative expression is the natural direction of life, noted Hollywood screenwriter and director Julia Cameron presents an exciting method for artists to recover their creativity from limiting beliefs, self-sabotage, inattention, fear, jealousy, guilt, addictions, and other forces that inhibit the creative process 240
232

Self-actualization
Canning-Fulton, Maureen Reclaiming Intimacy: Moving from Sexual Addiction to Healthy Sexuality: A Gentle Path for Continuing Recovery from Sexual Addiction 2002 1929866038 Developing healthy sexuality-based on self-respect, self-knowledge, and honest relationships-often requires adjusted attitudes and behaviors, especially for individuals and couples struggling to overcome sexual addiction. By addressing every aspect of human sexuality, from discovery through expression, Reclaiming Intimacy provides a safe and supportive process for individuals and couples working to establish or restore healthy sexuality. Author Maureen Canning-Fulton shares personal narratives to illustrate unhealthy feelings and behaviors and presents task-centered exercises to engage the reader in the recovery process. And she examines all three levels of relationships-you, me, us. Reassuring and practical, Reclaiming Intimacy leads the way to embracing one's true nature, including the sexual self. Key features and benefits: features interactive workbook format offers clinical and personal perspectives on issues affirms that healthy sexuality is possible for anyone. 225 Sex Addiction Recovery
Cannon, Carol Agnes Never Good Enough: Growing Up Imperfect in a "Perfect" Family: How to Break the Cycle of Codependence and Addiction for the Next Generation 1993 0816311455 Never Good Enough looks at the reasons behind addictive and codependent behaviors. Addiction is a no-fault disease, and understanding this can help in overcoming the behavior that ties us down. The good news is that change is possible. Carol Cannon draws on a wealth of experiences from her work as a therapist to provide examples of success, strength, and hope in winning the battle over addiction and codependence. 254 Codependency, Compulsive Behavior, Family (Christian)
Carder, Dave; Jaenicke, Duncan Torn Asunder: Recovering From Extramarital Affairs 2001 0802471412 This workbook is an excellent tool for couples to work through and apply the material presented in Torn Asunder. It is organized into daily twenty-minute exercises initiated by each spouse on alternating days. Because this tragic situation is not easily resolved, this workbook is a must to get couples on the road to healing and oneness. 160 Affairs, Workbook (religious)
Carder, Dave; Jaenicke, Duncan Torn Asunder: Recovering From Extramarital Affairs 1992
1999
0802485987
0802477488
There is hope for recovery from the devastation of extramarital affairs. In Torn Asunder, Dave Carder provides an overall recovery process from sexual and non-sexual affairs. Infidelity is at crisis level even within the church. No marriage is immune despite apparent moral convictions. Dave Carder wrote Torn Asunder to offer couples hope, healing, and encouragement in the face of adultery. He divides his book into first helping readers understand extramarital affairs and then offering healing for marriages dealing with this betrayal. Excellent resource for pastors, leaders, and lay people. 250
274
Affairs (religious)
Carnes, Patrick J A Gentle Path Through The Twelve Steps: The Classic Guide for All People in the Process of Recovery (A Workbook) 1989
1993
1993
0896381617
0896382907
1568380585
This reprint of the 1989 workbook provides a unique set of structured forms and exercises to help recovering people integrate the Twelve Steps into all aspects of their lives, designed with sex addicts and co-addicts in mind. 250
224
310
Workbook, Twelve Steps, Compulsive Behavior, Alcoholism and Drug Recovery
Carnes, Patrick J Contrary To Love: Helping The Sexual Addict 1989
1994?
0896381560
1568380593
Written by the national expert on the problem of sexual addiction, Contrary to Love provides professionals with a resource for understanding and helping sexual addicts. Subjects outlined include stages and progression of the illness, family structures, bonding, boundaries, assessment, intervention, treatment methods, and recovery topics. 302
280
Sex Addiction Rehabilitation
Carnes, Patrick J Don't Call It Love: Recovery From Sexual Addiction 1991
1992
0553072366
0553351389
Sexual addiction, marked by compulsive, self-destructive behavior, takes many forms, such as child abuse, sadomasochism, reliance on erotic fantasy as a coping mechanism, obsession with one individual, anonymous sexual encounters or cycles of disastrous affairs alternating with sexual bingeing. Offers the results of a survey of more than 1,000 sexual addicts in recovery and their co-dependent partners; shows that sexual compulsives come from all walks of life and its advice-giving testimonies by recovered and recovering persons, combined with clinical insights, point the way toward healing twisted relationships and reclaiming healthy sexuality. It includes self-tests and warning signs, plus therapies to aid recovery. Recommended both for counselors and for recovering people. 448
439
Sex Addiction, Sex Addiction Rehabilitatioin
Carnes, Patrick J Facing the Shadow: Starting Sexual and Relationship Recovery: A Gentle Path Workbook for Beginning Recovery from Sex Addiction 2001 1929866011 While many books on sexual addiction are available today, this is the first to take techniques used by thousands of people recovering from sex addiction and show, step by step, how to break free of this disease and live a healthier, more fulfulling life. Each of this hope-filled workbook's chapters sets the stage for the recovery task at hand, and then provides practical, easy-to-follow exercises specifically designed to help understand and address them. You'll learn: why denial is so powerful and what can be done to counter it; how to face the consequences of your behavior using recovery principles; how to respond to change and crises; how to manage life without dysfunctional behavior; how to address compulsivity as an intimacy disorder, and how spirituality and recovery are interwoven. With innovative new research and experiential, reflective materials, this practical workbook will serve as an excellent tool both for the general public and therapists. 275 Sex Addiction Recovery
Carnes, Patrick J Out of Betrayal: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships 1996 1558743936 250 Codependency
Carnes, Patrick J Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction [1985-on] The Sexual Addiction [1983] 1983
1983
1985
1987
1992
1992
2001
0896380580
0896380661
0896380866
0896381285
0896382699
1568380550
1568386214
Out of the Shadows, the first work ever published on sexual addiction, examines the tangled web of love, addictive sex, hate, and fear often found in family relationships. Patrick Carnes offers a way for addicts to deal with their sexual compulsions and become whole human beings. This is the landmark book introducing and legitimizing sexual behaviors and sexual fantasies as an addictive disease. Dr. Carnes proposes three levels of sexual addiction, describes the addiction cycle and its progression, and presents the faulty core beliefs of the addict and the coaddict and their healthy counterparts. 215
215
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204
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200
Sex Addiction
Carnes, Patrick J The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships 1997 1558745262 Exploitive relationships can create trauma bonds -- chains that link a victim to someone who is dangerous to them. Divorce, employee relations, litigation of any type, incest and child abuse, family and marital systems, domestic violence, hostage negotiations, kidnapping, professional exploitation and religious abuse are all areas of trauma bonding. All these relationships share one thing: they are situations of incredible intensity or importance where there is an exploitation of trust or power. Patrick Carnes presents an in-depth study of these relationships: why they form, who is most susceptible, and how they become so powerful. He shows readers how to recognize when traumatic bonding has occurred and gives them a checklist for examining their own relationships. He then provides steps readers can take to safely extricate themselves or their loved ones from these relationships. Readers will return to this book again and again for inspiration and insight, while professionals will find it an invaluable reference work. 250 Relationship Addiction, Psychological Abuse
Carnes, Patrick J(Ed.); Adams, Kenneth M (Ed.) Clinical Management of Sex Addiction Oct. 2002 1583913610 This is the first comprehensive volume of the clinical management of sex addiction. Collecting the work of 28 leaders in this emerging field, the editors provide a long-needed primary text about how to approach treatment with these challenging patients. The book serves as an excellent introduction for professionals new to the field as well as serving as a useful reference tool. The contributors are literally the pioneers of one of the last frontiers of addiction medicine and sex therapy. With a growing awareness of sex addiction as a problem, plus the advent of cybersex compulsion, professional clinicians are being confronted with sexual compulsion with little clinical or academic preparation. This is the first book distilling the experience of the leaders in this emerging field. With a focus on special populations, it also becomes a handy problem-solving tool. Readable, concise, and filled with useful interventions, it is a key text illustrating a problem clinicians must be able to identify. It is destined to be a classic reference. 352 Sex Addiction
Carnes, Patrick J; Delmonico, David L; Moriarty, Joseph M; Griffin, Elizabeth In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior 2001 1568386206 Reveals how desperate life can become for someone addicted to online sex. Destroyed marriages, damaged relationships, career loss and financial ruin are common outcomes. Equips us with specific recovery strategies for recognizing and handling addictive behavior. The resources here will guide you along a pathway of self-assessment, discovery, and fulfillment. Readers addicted to cybersex will know they're not alone -- and know that recovery is possible -- by the personal stories in this groundbreaking book. Author Patrick Carnes is a well-known, widely respected expert in sexual addiction treatment. 250 Sex Addiction, Computer Sex
Carnes, Patrick J; Laaser, Debra J; Laaser, Mark R Open Hearts: Renewing Relationships with Recovery, Romance and Reality 1999 1929866003 The profound link between healthy coupleship and successful recovery was one of the revelations of Dr. Patrick Carnes' extensive field research. Now, along with Debra and Mark Laaser of the National Council for Couple and Family Recovery, Carnes distills that data into a compelling, compassionate and ultimately joyful guide to supportive intimacy. Packed with practical ideas, anecedotes and dialogue-sparking exercises, this book is written with Carnes' trademark warmth, personal honesty and inspiring insight. It is a workbook for those struggling with communication, parenting, finances or sex teaches relationship skills drawn from the lives of couples shattered by the ultimate betrayals of sex addiction; offers a hopeful path to any couple seeking healthy and fulfilling intimacy. Learn how to: overcome 'coupleshame,' fight fair, understand your family 'epics,' set healthy boundaries, break free from the same old battles, form a spiritual bond and renew your early passion -- through revealing exercises, honest insight and personal stories of others in recovery. 236 Relationship Recovery
Carnes, Patrick J; Moriarity, Joseph Sexual Anorexia: Overcoming Sexual Self-hatred 1997 1568381441 This book offers a first-time examination of the extreme fear of sexual intimacy and the obsessive avoidance of sex. Author Dr. Patrick Carnes begins by defining sexual anorexia and demonstrating how it and its parallel disorder, sexual addiction and compulsivity, often arise from a background of childhood sexual trauma, neglect, and other forms of abuse. Carnes explores the numerous dimensions of sexual health, examining key issues which must be addressed and resolved for recovery to proceed. Utilizing extensive research and elucidating case studies, Carnes develops concrete tasks and plans for restoring nurturing and sensuality, building fulfilling relationships, exploring intimacy, and creating healthy sexuality. Woven throughout the book are stories of recovery which illustrate sexual healing principles, model new behavior, and support motivation for change. "Sexual Anorexia" enables those suffering from this disorder to recognize that sex need not be a furtive enemy to be fought and defeated, but instead a deeply sensual, passionate, fulfilling, and spiritual experience that all human beings are innately entitled to. 250 Sexual Aversion Disorders
Carnes, Patrick J; Rening, Linda J; Laaser, Mark R; Laaser, Debra J 27 Tasks for Changing Compulsive, Out-of-control, and Inappropriate Sexual Behavior: Couple's Workbook 1994 1885970064 270 Sex Addiction Treatment
Carnes, Patrick J; Rening, Linda J; Laaser, Mark R; Laaser, Debra J 27 Tasks for Changing Compulsive, Out-of-control, and Inappropriate Sexual Behavior: Therapist's Guide 1994 1885970005 160 Sex Addiction Treatment
Carruth, Bruce Co-Dependency: Issues in Treatment and Recovery 1989
1990
0866569200
0866569421
167   Codependency
Carter, Steven A; Sokol, Julia He's Scared; She's Scared: Understanding the Hidden Fears that Sabotage Your Relationships 1993
1995
0385305125
0440506255
This follow-up to the phenomenally successful Men Who Can't Love tackles the issue of commitmentphobia. Drawing on numerous interviews and real-life scenarios, and written with humor, insight, and wisdom, this book offers guidance for all of us who want genuine, sustained intimacy with our romantic partners. 352 Commitment, Interpersonal Relations
Carter, Steven A; Sokol, Julia Lives Without Balance: When You're Giving Everything You've Got and Still Not Getting What You Hoped For 1992 0394588142 The authors identify the major reasons why so many Americans are disapppinted with their present situation and disillusioned by their quest for success. Redefine your personal goals away from "image fixes" such as money, expense accounts, power and glamour and an outdated mythology of winners, players, limitless credit cards and Horatio Alger. 252 Conduct of Life, Disappointment, Success
Carter, Steven A; Sokol, Julia Men Who Can't Love: When a Man's Fear Makes Him Run from Commitment (and what a Smart Woman Can Do about It) [How to Recognize a Commitment-Phobic Man Before He Breaks Your Heart] 1987
1988
1994
2000
0871315173
0425111709
1567310478
042517445X
Featured on Oprah and Sally Jesse Raphael, this definitive look at the dynamics of male-female communication gets to the heart of the all-too-common phenomenon: women who are ready and willing to commit, and men who back off just as the relationship moves toward the next level. This book can help you: 1) Recognize early warning signs of the commitmentphobic man; 2) Determine the extent of his fears -- and his willingness to change; 3) Analyze your own role in the situation; and 4) Avoid unnecessary stress and heartache. 252
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Love, Interpersonal Relations
Chandler, Mitzi Gentle Reminders for Co-Dependents: Daily Affirmations 1989 1558740201 Mitzi Chandler takes the co-dependent and adult child through the year with each day bringing a new quotation to ponder, a message of hope and a positive affirmation to carry you through the day. This book is for those in recovery who seek to enjoy the miracle each day brings. 365 Affirmations Meditations Codependency
Clark, J Michael Doing the Work of Love: Men and Commitment in Same-Sex Couples 1999 0967179408
0967179416
This is a groundbreaking book that crestes an important bridge between academic work on men and sexulaity and popular unreflective work on gay male relationships. Exploring intimate, coupled relationships among men, especially among gay men, the author celebrates embodied, sensual, sexual goodness of men's sexual relationships, while adamantly rejecting an "anything goes" approach to gay male sexuality or to sexuality in general. The author proposes an ethics of sexual accountability in-relation as a middle ground between those who espouse anonymous multi-partnered sex as the crux of gay identity and those whose current sex panic resounds with sex-negativity. 156
172
GLBT commitment
Cleveland, Mike Setting Captives Free: Pure Freedom -- Breaking the Addiction to Pornography 2002 1885904304 Cleveland has done a spectacular job of applying the Word of God to the areas of habitual sexual sin. The author clearly leads the student, day-by-day, using Biblical examples and amazing personal testimonies from previous students, to habitual freedom from sexual immorality. This text is based on an interactive web-based course of the same name, Pure Freedom, which can be found at SettingCaptivesFree.com. The principles in this book can break the secret addiction that has ruined so many lives. The book isn't about snapping your wrist with a rubber band or going back to your childhood to find out why it's someone else's fault; it's about Jesus Christ and how to practically apply His truth to your life! You don't have to be a "recovering addict" the rest of your life; reading and studying this book will show you how to be free forever from Satan's trap. 192 Pornography Addiction (religious)
Cloud, Henry Changes That Heal 1993
1997
0310606314
0310214637
Many of us struggle with depression, anxiety, panic, addictions, and guilt. Often the source of this pain lies buried in patterns of behavior that we learned as children and continue to practice today. Because or poor parenting or childhood trauma, our growth toward maturity slows or stops entirely. To become mature image-bearers of God, says Dr. Henry Cloud, we most learn to do four things: bond to others; separate from others (boundaries); accept both the good and bad in life; and take charge of our lives. All of us must accomplish these things to heal our inner pain and to enable us to function and grow emotionally and spiritually. In "Changes That Heal," Dr. Cloud explains each of these needs. Then he identifies problems that arise when they are not met, and shows what changes to make to bring healing. With solid scriptural insights, Changes That Heal helps listeners form healthy relationships with themselves, others, and God -- relationships that will bring new richness and purpose to life. 272
368
  Boundaries (Religious)
Cloud, Henry Changes That Heal Workbook 1994 0310606330 This companion workbook to "Changes That Heal" will lead you step-by-step through the important principles from Dr. Cloud's groundbreaking book, plus give you practical suggestions for discovering the answer to the following questions and more. What are the four basic tasks of becoming mature image bearers and more? How do I accomplish these tasks? What problems result because of failure to accomplish these tasks? What changes do I need to make in my life In order to bring about healing? Once you've learned and accomplished the four basic tasks that are absolute necessary for emotional and relational stability, you'll have learned to: bond to others; separate from others; sort out good and bad in yourself and others; and become an adult. 128   Boundaries, Workbook (Religious)
Cloud, Henry; Townsend, John (Sims) Boundaries in Dating: Making Dating Work 2000 0310200342
0310204550
Should people kiss dating goodbye? Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend don't think so. They maintain that avoiding dating isn't the way to cure the problems encountered in dating. The cure is the same as the Bible's cure for all of life's problems: as we grow spiritually, we will mature. The way to a better dating relationship is by learning how to love another person, learning how to follow God, how to be honest and responsible, how to treat others as you would want to be treated, and how to develop self-control. 208 Dating, Social Customs and Religious Aspects
Cloud, Henry; Townsend, John Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't 1995
1996
0310595606
0310210844
Too many of us have invested ourselves into relationships that left us deeply wounded. We've been abandoned or taken advantage of, and left with little to show for what we've given. We've lost our sense of security and personal value in the process. And what's worse, we tend to either repeat the same mistakes of judgment over and over... Or else lock the doors of our hearts entirely and throw away the key. Why do we choose the wrong people to get involved with? Is it possible to change? And if so, where does one begin? Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend offer solid guidance for making safe choices in relationships, from friendships to romance. They help identify the nurturing people we all need in our lives, as well as ones we need to learn to avoid. Safe People will help you to recognize 20 traits of relationally untrustworthy people. Discover what makes some people relationally safe, and how to avoid unhealthy entanglements. You'll learn about things within yourself that jeopardize your relational security. And you'll find out what to do and what not to do to develop a balanced, healthy approach to relationships. 199
208
  Relationship Health (Christian)
Cloud, Henry; Townsend, John (Sims) Boundaries in Dating: Workbook 2000 0310233305 Designed to accompany Boundaries in Dating, this workbook is your map for traveling the dating road. It's filled with pointed assessments, insights, questions for thought and discussion, and principles for you to put into practice in your relationships with others. The Boundaries in Dating Workbook helps you deal with four critical concerns you face as a single person:You and Your Boundaries; Whom Should I Date? Solving Dating Problems When You're Part of the Problem; Solving Dating Problems When Your Date Is the Problem. 156 Workbook, Dating, Co-addiction
Cloud, Henry; Townsend, John (Sims) Boundaries in Marriage: Workbook 2000 0310228751 Designed to accompany Boundaries in Marriage, this workbook is filled with self-tests, questions, and applications. Your longing for a marriage marked by lifelong love, intimacy, and growth can be yours if you set wise boundaries. By the time you've completed this workbook, you will know yourself and your mate better than ever before. You'll also understand and practice the ten laws of boundaries in ways that can make a real difference in your relationship. Step by step, the Boundaries in Marriage Workbook helps you apply the biblical principles discussed in the book Boundaries in Marriage so you can... Set and maintain your personal boundaries and respect those of your spouse -- Establish values that form a godly structure and architecture for your marriage -- Protect your marriage from different kinds of "intruders" -- Work with a spouse who understands and values boundaries, or work with one who doesn't. Filled with self-tests, questions, and applications, the Boundaries in Marriage Workbook helps you deal effectively with the friction points and serious hurts in your marriage -- and move beyond them to the mutual care, respect, affirmation, and intimacy you both long for. 208 Workbook, Marriage, Co-addiction
Cloud, Henry; Townsend, John (Sims) Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No, To Take Control of Your Life 1992
2002
0310585902
0310247454
Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. In other words, boundaries define who we are and who we are not. Boundaries impact all areas of our lives: Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us and under what circumstances. Mental boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts and opinions. Emotional boundaries help us to deal with our own emotions and disengage from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others. Spiritual boundaries help us to distinguish God's will from our own and give us renewed awe for our Creator. 304 Conduct of Life (Christian)
Cloud, Henry; Townsend, John (Sims) Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No, To Take Control of Your Life (Workbook) 1995 0310494818 Based on the best-selling, award-winning book by Drs. Cloud and Townsend, this is a psychological survival manual that will give you biblically based answers to questions you have about setting and maintaining boundaries. Used with its companion book, Boundaries, this workbook will provide practical, non-theoretical exercises that will help you set healthy boundaries with parents, spouses, children, friends, co-workers, and even yourself... by drawing on God's wisdom. Being a loving and unselfish Christian does not mean never telling anyone no. This workbook helps you discover what boundaries you need and how to avoid feeling guilty about setting them. It will give you biblically based answers to questions you have about boundaries. 219 Conduct of Life (Christian)
Cloud, Henry; Townsend, John S(ims) Boundaries in Marriage 1999 031022151X Introducing the book most requested by Boundaries seminar attendees: Boundaries in Marriage. Because two lives becoming one is easier said than done. How do you work out conflict, establish healthy communication, solve problems, and deal with the struggle of differing needs? In the process of knitting two souls together, it's easy to tear the fabric. You long for a marriage marked by lifelong love, intimacy, and growth. And it can be yours - if you set wise boundaries. Boundaries are the "property lines" that define and protect each of you as individuals. Get them in place and you can make a good marriage better and possibly even save a less-than-satisfying one. 255 Marriage
Coleman, Eli (Ed.) Chemical Dependency and Intimacy Dysfunction 1988
1990
0866566406
0866568263
A comprehensive text on the topic, it demonstrates how chemical dependency, sexual dysfunctions, and inappropriate touching are symptoms of intimacy problems. The reader is taught the relationship between the symptoms and the core issues; issues that must be resolved if recovery is to be complete. Experts in the fields of chemical dependency and human sexuality provide answers to pressing questions regarding the relationship between chemical dependency and intimacy dysfunction and treatment for individuals and families. Because many chemical dependency professionals are unaware of intimacy problems, are unwilling to discuss them, or have not received sufficient training to evaluate and treat the problems, this book provides professionals with information and skills to deal with these issues with the hope of improving treatment and rehabilitation of addicted individuals and their families. 268 Addictions, Sexuality
Collins, Bryn C Emotional Unavailability: Recognizing It, Understanding It and Avoiding Its Trap 1997
1998
0809231603
0809229145
At some point in life, nearly all of us find ourselves in a relationship in which no matter how hard we try, no matter what we do, we still feel empty and unfulfilled. Emotional Unavailabity takes an upbeat, inspiring look at why people form such painful associations and empowers them to find authentic emotional connections. Through real-life examples, quizzes, and easy-to-understand text, readers will learn how to identify the 10 types of emotionally unavailable people to avoid -- the Romeos and Romiettes, the Indiana Joneses, the Tens, the Emotional Einsteins, and the Eels, among others 304 Intimacy, Control and Manipulation, Interpersonal Relations
Collins, Bryn C How to Recognize Emotional Unavailability and Make Healthy Relationship Choices 1999 1567313442 In this groundbreaking book based on her extensive clinical experience, psychologist Bryn Collins discusses life with an emotionally unavailable person. She uses case studies, quizzes, and down-to-earth awareness to profile the most common types of emotionally unavailable partners, and offers the skills you need to change these painful associations. Ms. Collins explores the common problem of emotional unavailability from a fresh, practical, and non-judgmental viewpoint. She explores why we enter painful, frustrating relationships, and how we can make positive changes without blaming ourselves. The book covers: types of emotion unavailability; how and why people are unavailable; patterns of thought and how they control events by controlling expectations; tell-tale signs; understanding why you get drawn in; and how to change and grow beyond emotional unavailability. 292 Relationship Recovery
Cooper, Al (Ed.) Cybersex: The Dark Side of the Force: A Special Issue of the Journal Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity 2000 158391305X Presents an empirical foundation for discussing cybersex compulsivity, online pornography and the affects on the mental health of individuals, couples, teens and young children. A crucial resource for sex therapists, who until now had no rigorous study of the effect of online pornography on the patients they treat. [Chapter 1 Cybersex Users, Abusers, and Compulsives: New Findings and Implications; Chapter 2 Effects of Cybersex Addiction on the Family: Results of a Survey; Chapter 3 Online Infidelity: A New Dimension in Couple Relationships with Implications for Evaluation and Treatment; Chapter 4 Children, Teens, and Sex on the Internet; Chapter 5 Online Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity: Integrating Web Resources and Behavioral Telehealth in Treatment; Chapter 6 Should Virtual Sex be Treated like Other Sex Addictions; Chapter 7 Compulsive Cybersex: The New Tea Room] 160 Cybersex, Sex Addiction
Cooper, Al (Ed.) Sex and the Internet: A Guidebook for Clinicians 2002 1583913556 Sex and the Internet is the first ever professional book on the fascinating and revolutionary area of internet sexuality. With many disturbing questions raised by sex and the internet, here is a clinician's guide that addresses these concerns by both informing and providing practical and concrete suggestions and directions. Contributions by international compilation of experts in the field of sexuality keeps on course with pertinent and relevant material. 290   Sex Addiction, Computer Sex, Sex Counseling
Copeland, Mary Ellen The Loneliness Workbook: A Guide to Developing and Maintaining Lasting Connections 2000 1572242035 Do you feel alone in times of need? Unable to make connections in your daily life that could anchor you in love and friendship? Learn to take stock of your strengths, create the right kind of change, and develop a circle of support that can sustain you through difficult times. Alone time can relieve stress, build character, and serve the necessary function of providing a time-out from this hectic worlk. But too much time alone can make our lives unduly hard, and lead us to feel unloved and unwanted. In this comprehensive guide to relieving loneliness, distinguished writer and lecturer Mary Ellen Copeland creates a practical program for assessing personal strengths and using them to bring connection into our lives. Based on an extensive study of former loneliness sufferers, The Loneliness Workbook helps us learn to identify our assets as well as our relationship inhibitors, develop relationship skills, practice loneliness-relieving excercises, reach out for support, join with others, and create intimacy. Through the inspiring testimony of those who hwave overcome loneliness, we are encouraged to implement our very own plan of action and bring about the kinds of lasting changes that will fill our lives with love and support. 170 Loneliness
Courtois, Christine A Healing the Incest Wound: Adult Survivors in Therapy 1988
1996
0393700518
0393313565
This book describes the nature and characteristics of incest, identifies the symptoms shown by its victims, and offers therapists advice on helping incest victims. Christine Courtois is a gifted and highly brilliant writer and speaker. Her books are highly truthful and revealing about sexual abuse and exploitation of children and adolescents. She also writes about the resulting psychiatric illnesses, particularly, in the worst possible of all cases, Multiple Personality Disorder, with extreme compassion, knowledge and sensitivity. She writes about incest with intelligence, good taste and limitless compassion. 396
355
Trauma
Covey, Stephen R; Merrill, A Roger; Merrill, Rebecca R First Things First: To Live; To Love; To Learn; To Leave a Legacy 1994
1995
0671864416
0684802031
In the spirit of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, the #1 nationwide bestseller, First Things First is a revolutionary guide to managing your time by learning how to balance your life. Traditional time management suggests that working harder, smarter, and faster will help you gain control over your life, and that increased control will bring peace and fulfillment. The authors of First Things First disagree. In the first real breakthrough in time management in years, Stephen R. Covey, A. Roger Merrill, and Rebecca R. Merrill apply the insights of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People to the daily problems of people who must struggle with the ever-increasing demands of work and home life. Rather than focusing on time and things, First Things First emphasizes relationships and results. And instead of efficiency, this new approach emphasizes effectiveness. 360
384
Conduct of Life
Covington, Stephanie S Awakening Your Sexuality: A Guide for Recovering Women 1991
2000
0062501909
1568383606
This text guides women on an inner journey of exploration, growth and sexual awakening, aiming to transform lives and relationships. Covington, coauthor of Leaving the Enchanted Forest: The Path from Relationship to Intimacy (HarperCollins, 1988), offers this guide for women recovering from abuse, addiction, or dysfunctional relationships. She uses case histories mixed with practical suggestions on how to change past behavior and work toward healing. Particularly helpful are her appendixes, which discuss the sexual response cycle and women and AIDS. Bibliographies and resources are also included. Although titles on recovery proliferate, this book fills an important niche. 224
296

Sexual Health
Covington, Stephanie S Awakening Your Sexuality: A Guide for Recovering Women and Their Partners 1992 0062501917 This empowering guide helps women process their sexual history, understand their current sexual selves, and reclaim their sexuality from guilt, shame, and addiction. 79 Sexual Health
Covington, Stephanie S; Beckett, Liana Leaving the Enchanted Forest: The Path from Relationship Addiction to Intimacy 1988 0062501631 In Leaving the Enchanted Forest, Covington and Beckett offer solid guidance to help readers recognize their addictive relationships -- their enchantment -- and discover, through new relationship skills, the rewards of responsible love. Advice, step-by-step guidelines, and a clear, practical guide to recovery for those who want to understand the nature of addictive relationships and are ready to embrace genuine intimacy, the gift of recovery. It includes exercises, writing activities and experiential practices offer the opportunity to review past and present relationships, thoughtfully reevaluate personal beliefs/assumptions and clarify who you are, what you need, and what you want. 208 Relationship Addiction, Intimacy, Codependency
Crawford, David; Kettelhank, Guy Easing the Ache: Gay Men Recovering from Compulsive Behaviors 1991
1991
1998
0525248714
0452266157
1568382359
An anthem of recovery that is a beacon to anyone who is a compulsive personality. "Easing the Ache" is the first book to address the unique needs of gay men in recovery, written especially for compulsive gay men. It is full of insight and the testimonials of gay men in recovery make it easy and enjoyable to read. Many gay men are making remarkable journeys as they recover from addiction, whether it be to alcohol, drugs, food, sex, work or unhealthy relationships. The stories and opinions of hundreds of gay men provide the core of this book about the ascent out of compulsive behavior and the discovery of a fulfilling life. The author examines the struggles and successes of gay men overcoming addiction and compulsive behaviour. Direct and honest, Kettelhack provides a sense of what it's like for gay men to overcome crippling self-hatred as he examines the challenges, triumphs, and setbacks they face in dealing with compulsive behaviour and addiction. Writing from his own experiences as a recovering alcoholic, the author provides guidance for the road to recovery. 190 Multiple Addictions
Crowder, Adrienne Opening the Door: A Treatment Model for Therapy with Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse 1995 0876307543 There is little written on working with male victims of sexual abuse. This is one of the good ones. 214 Trauma
Daniels, Robert The War Within: Gaining Victory in the Battle for Sexual Purity 1997 0891079335 Clearly confronts the problems men face with lust, pornography and other sexual temptations and offers practical, biblical solutions for helping them overcome sin and integrate purity. They are silent sins. And therefore some of the most difficult to conquer. Facing those sexual temptations daily, sometimes unfaithful in thought or deed, persistently assaulted by world, flesh, and the Devil, can men today possibly win the war for sexual purity? This courageous book offers a resounding "yes!" It also provides a battle strategy based on the promises and power of God -- and the author's experiences in defeating a 25-year addiction to pornography. This no-nonsense book -- complete with discussion questions -- will take you to a new level of purity, as well as encourage you that in this terribly private struggle, you are never alone. 224 Sexual Ethics (religious)
Dass, Ram; Gorman, Paul How Can I Help?: Stories and Reflections on Service 1985 0394729471 Stories and Reflections on Service, reminds us just how much we have to give and how doing so can lead to some of the most joyous moments of our lives. Not a day goes by without our being called upon to help one another-at home, at work, on the street, on the phone... 243 Helping Behavior
Davis, Laura Alllies in Healing: When the Person You Love Was Sexually Abused as a Child 1991 0060968834 Designed for intimate partners of trauma victims, it was well conceived when it first appeared and still is about the best book dedicated to that purpose. Great for someone needing to know about child sexual abuse but is not prepared to read a huge book. 337 Trauma
Davis, Laura The Courage to Heal Workbook: For Women and Men Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse 1990 0060964375 As a step-by-step guide through the healing process, this workbook will touch a deep nerve and provide the same directional support as its companion bestseller Courage to Heal. The workbook is a combination of checklists, open-ended questions, writing exercises, art projects, and activities. 447 Workbook, Trauma
Dayton, Tian Heartwounds: The Impact of Unresolved Grief and Trauma on Relationships 1997 1558745106 The heartbreak of lost intimacy with another person -- whether through distance, death, divorce, addiction, or alienation -- is a wound many of us suffer throughout our lives. Often this wound lies hidden in the silent chambers of our hearts for years and undermines our ability to have nurturing, comfortable relationships. In this book, you will find a way out of the pain toward a place where you can heal and form confident, mature relationships. Heartwounds is an experiential guide for exploring this minefield of painful memories and emerging beyond them with new energy for resolution and growth. Noted clinical psychologist Dr. Tian Dayton clearly outlines the impact of unresolved trauma and grief on both the personality and on relationships. Through vivid case studies and probing exercises, this book opens our hearts and minds to a deeper meaning and purpose in life and allows us to connect with others in real rather than superficial ways. Heartwounds is about turning wounds into wisdom so that the lessons learned from painful circumstances can lead to a more satisfying life and healthier, more peaceful and joyful relationships. 257 Relationship Health, Trust
Dayton, Tian Trauma and Addiction: Ending the Cycle of Pain through Emotional Literacy 2000 1558747516 For the past decade, author Tian Dayton has been researching trauma and addiction, and how psychodrama (or sociometry group psychotherapy) can be used in their treatment. Since trauma responses are stored in the body, a method of therapy that engages the body through role play can be more effective in accessing the full complement of trauma-related memories. This latest book identifies the interconnection of trauma and addictive behavior, and shows why they can become an unending cycle. Emotional and psychological pain so often lead to self-medicating, which leads to more pain, and inevitably more self-medicating, and so on -- ad infinitum. This groundbreaking book offers readers effective ways to work through their traumas in order to heal their addictions and their predilection toward what clinicians call self-medicating (the abuse of substances [alcohol, drugs, food], activities [work, sex, gambling, etc.] and/or possessions [money, material things].) Readers caught up in the endless cycle of trauma and addiction will permanently transform their lives by reading this book. Therapists treating patients for whom no other avenue of therapy has proved effective will find that this book offers practical, lasting solutions. Case studies and examples of this behavioral phenomenon will illustrate the connection, helping readers understand its dynamics, recognize their own situations and realize that they are not alone in experiencing this syndrome. The author deftly combines the longstanding trauma theories of Van der Kolk, Herman, Bowlby, Krystal and others with her own experiential methods using psychodrama, sociometry and group therapy in the treatment of addiction and posttraumatic stress disorder. While designed to be useful to therapists, this book will also be accessible to trade readers. It includes comprehensive references, as well as a complete index. 250 Addictions, Trauma
DeAngelis, Barbara Are You the One for Me?: Knowing Who's Right and Avoiding Who's Wrong 1993 0440215757 The bestselling author of Secrets of Men Every Woman Should Know (1990) and How to Make Love All the Time (1987) now dissects bad love choices. Quizzes, lists, and anecdotes render De Angelis's sensible material in easy-to-swallow morsels. Early on, readers are asked to make lists of past lovers' worst qualities and then to write a want ad for a partner, highlighting the common themes ("WANTED: Self- absorbed, damaged loser who has lots of potential and is doing nothing with it...."); and possible roots for these perverse attractions in the childhood family experience are then explored. Readers count off "the seven wrong reasons to be in a relationship" (from "sexual hunger" to "emotional or spiritual emptiness"); "nine fatal flaws to watch out for in a partner" (addiction, control-freak tendencies, sexual dysfunction); seven compatibility time-bombs, etc. Although the majority of the text deals with negatives, going on the theory that recognizing self-destructive habits is the major step toward overcoming them, De Angelis comments briefly on the attitudes and flexibility necessary for change. Those unsure of whether to commit may value the elaborate self-test offered here, leading to a numerical assessment of compatibility. Given a tolerance for lists and comfort with an approach that precludes subtlety, readers with histories of unhappy relationships may gain insight from this solid, well-organized advice. 432 Love
Delmonico, David L; Griffin, Elizabeth; Moriarity, Joseph M Cybersex Unhooked: A Workbook for Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior 2001 0970884508 Mention "cybersex" and the response you'll often receive is a chuckle and a smart or lewd comment. But the use of sex on the Internet is skyrocketing, and anyone caught up in the spell of Internet sex knows its intense and seemingly irresistible power to undermine careers, upend relationships, and create emotional chaos. This frank, compassionate, and practical workbook offers a hope-filled plan for breaking free of compulsive cybersex, one that enables those entrapped to regain control of their relationships and their lives. Easy to follow exercises serve as a guide for confronting and understanding cybersex behavior and lead the way to change, personal growth, and a life free of cybersex's intoxicating and destructive spell. "Here are the tools needed to break the chains of cybersex. No matter how mild or severe the problem, this book can be a guide back to the real world of relationships." Douglas Weiss, Ph.D., author of Final Freedom: Pioneering Sexual Addiction Recovery "With cybersex quickly becoming a hidden epidemic, the timing of this valuable workbook could not be better. A must read both for those with concerns about their own Internet usage for sex and for family and friends trying to support them." Al Cooper, Ph.D. 251 Workbook, Cybersex Addiction
Diamond, Jed Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places: Overcoming Romantic and Sexual Addictions 1988 0399133720 This book will be of particular interest to people in recovery and twelve step programs, as the author Jed Diamond often uses the terminology and concepts of these recovery models. Looking for Love gives excellent descriptions of Love addiction and provides direction for those people who are in relationships with Love addicts. Diamond describes some characteristics of a Love Addict, and most important offers solutions for healing and help. Diamond also offers understanding of this addiction yet urges the reader that this addiction does not go away on its own. He emphasizes that seeking awareness and help is the only way to recover. The book provides a very good description of Healthy Love and Addictive Love by putting them in a contrasting format. 224 Love, Intimacy, Attachment
Diamond, Jed Male Menopause 1997
1998
1570711437
1570713979
After years of jokes about the male "midlife crisis," male menopause is today recognized as a true event, occurring in millions of men between the ages of forty and fifty-five. In this groundbreaking and much-lauded book, author Jed Diamond shows that male menopause involves dramatic chemical and physiological changes that affect everything from a man's view on life to his ability to attain and maintain an erection. As featured in public television specials by the same name, Male Menopause surveys the most current medical data and listens to men and women as they struggle to arrive healthy and happy in the second half of life. 384   Sexual Health
Diamond, Jed Surviving Male Menopause: A Guide for Women and Men 2000 1570714339 This solid and practical book directly responds to readers' concerns about male menopause by raising awareness and support. In his earlier book Male Menopause, Jed Diamond exposed the worldwide reality that the often-joked-about phenomenon of "male menopause" is indeed a medical, psychological and emotional fact of life for millions of men. Diamond's new book offers guidance to and tells the stories of those perhaps as affected by male menopause as men -- women. Surviving Male Menopause examines the most current medical happenings, then focuses more strongly on the emotional, personal side of this life passage. Its effect on relationships and on the individuals involved is unmistakable. Through the recently rising voices of the men and women experiencing this change, Diamond seeks to show women and men how they can emerge on the other side happy, healthy and fulfilled. 256 Sexual Health
Dolan, Yvonne Resolving Sexual Abuse: Solution-Focused Therapy and Ericksonian Hypnosis for Adult Survivors 1991 0393701123 Dolan provides specific and practical techniques that enable clients not only to resolve past sexual abuse but also to form a clear map of functional behaviors and perceptions to replace trauma-based ones. She offers specific strategies for treatment of post-traumatic amnesia, self-mutilation, sexual dysfunctions, memory problems, and many other symptoms. Annotation copyright Book News, Inc. Portland, OR. 237 Trauma
Driggs, John H; Finn, Stephen E Intimacy Between Men: How to Find and Keep Gay Love Relationships 1990
1991
0525249192
0452266963
More and more gay men are seeking to find, build, and preserve intimate relationships. Here, two experienced therapists draw on extensive research and their years of leading counseling groups for gay men to present a practical path toward greater intimacy in gay love relationships. With inspiring success stories and relationship-strengthening exercises, this wise and sensitive guide offers innovative strategies for overcoming many problems faced by gay men in our society: coming to terms with the process of coming out; conquering your own personal roadblocks to intimacy; learning to recognize the difference between sex and intimacy; and coping with issues of personal safety and AIDS. Extraordinarily insightful, warm, and supportive, Intimacy Between Men teaches couples to share feelings, desires, and sexual needs, to communicate honestly and openly, and to build lasting and loving partnerships. 250
242
Gay Relationship Health
Earle, Marcus R; Earle, Ralph H; Osborn, Kevin; (Crow, Gregory) Sex Addiction: Case Studies and Management 1995 0876307853 Family psychologists present a flexible therapeutic program for sex addicts and their families that they have developed over many years of dealing with both socially responsible individuals and sex offenders. The book discusses treating the addict, sex offenders, and victims of sexual abuse. Their approach combines a wide range of therapies and relies on the skillful coordination of the treatment team. They speak primarily to professional psychologists, but pastors, probation officers, or attorneys might also be interested. 270   Sex Addiction Treatment
Earle, Ralph H; Crow, Gregory; Osborn, Kevin Lonely All The Time: Recognizing, Understanding and Overcoming Sex Addiction, for Addicts and Co-Dependents 1989
1990
1998
0671669982
0671669990
0965287912
This book addresses the needs and concerns of all sexual addicts, regardless of their sexual orientation, and also of the addict's codependent partner. The authors explore the causes and symptoms of sex addiction. They also include a comprehensive and practical approach to recovery for the addict and family. 337
352
337
  Sex Addiction, Codependency, Loneliness
Earle, Ralph H; Laaser, Mark Pornography Trap: Setting Pastors and Laypersons Free from Sexual Addiction 2002 0834119382 Maybe he's a board member or a deacon. Maybe he's the choir director. Maybe he's teaching Sunday School or passing the offering plate. Pastor ... maybe it's you. How are you dealing with the sexual sin epidemic that is sweeping across churches today via the Internet and other venues? Men everywhere are living in bondage and fear of exposure. There Is Somewhere To Turn For Help. If you're flirting with this devastating addiction, or if you're counseling others who have already crossed the line, Ralph Earle and Mark Laaser help you understand the core issues related to sexual sin and give insight into developing a biblical view of healthy sexuality. In The Pornography Trap, you'll find the help you've prayed for. 144 Pornography Addiction
Eisenberg, Arlene; Eisenberg, Howard; Mooney, Al J; Gitlow, Stanley E The Recovery Book 1992 1563050846 Attempts to explain exactly what a recovering addict and his or her family will face during every stage of living clean and sober, with information on support groups, family relationships, temptations, and hundreds of questions and answers. Includes special sections on: family relationships; AA and other support groups; making love; non-drug medical treatments; and work and money issues. The book is set up in easy to read chapters covering everything you need to know about recovering from addictions. It explains specif steps to go through the detox process from every drug or alcohol, medical advice on how to get help, the withdrawal process, nutrition, and how to move on with your children, your spouse and family, your job, and yourself. 624 Multiple Addictions
Eisler, Riane (Tennenhaus) The Chalice and the Blade: Our History, Our Future 1987
1988
1994
0062502875
0062502891
084466734X
Some books are like revelations, they open the spirit to unimaginable possibilities. The Chalice and the Blade is one of those magnificent key books that can transform us and...initiate fundamental changes in the world. With the most passionate eloquence, Riane Eisler proves that the dream of peace is not an impossible utopia. Eisler is a nationally known advocate of partnership models as superior forms of human interaction in contrast to "dominator" approaches. 271
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271
  Sexual Health
Elinor, Burkett A Gospel of Shame: Children, Sexual Abuse, and the Catholic Church 1993
2002
067084828X
0060522321
Two journalists expose the range and depth of sexual abuse in the Catholic church. Well written, but still painful to read, it is the book that took the mask off. 256
336
  Sex and Religion
Ellison, Marvin M(ahan) Erotic Justice: A Liberating Ethic of Sexuality 1996 0664256465 Over this past year, this book has generated a lot of controversy. The author is a knowledgeable scholar as well as a gay man who is one of the few to critique and take a concrete approach to spirituality and ethics in the sexual realm. He connects all forms of oppression to issues of sexual morality. In doing so, he challenges all of us. For those who think seriously about sex and ethics, it is a must read. 160 Sexual Ethics (religious)
Engel, Beverly Loving Him Without Losing You: How to Stop Disappearing and Start Being Yourself 2000
2001
0471355585
0471409790
Engel speaks to almost every woman, for almost no one has managed to escape the usual relationship "wisdom" in our culture of women "adapting" to meet their men's needs (by hiding accomplishments, giving up interests and friends if he doesn't like them, etc.). Engels gives us another, healthier way to build relationships, by staying true to our authentic selves. Ironically, this advice which is so contrary to what most of us learned is the only way to have a truly satisfying relationship -- more satisfying for the man as well as the woman. Numerous exercises throughout the book help the reader discover her patterns, uncover issues from the past and work through them, and discover her authentic self. Engel also gives valuable information on creating a support group, and finding a therapist if necessary. She also explains Boderline Personality Disorder extensively, offering questionnaires to help a person determine whether they have borderline traits. 304   Relationship Addiction, Codependency
Engel, Beverly Raising Your Sexual Self-Esteem: How to Feel Better about Your Sexuality and Yourself 1995
1996
0449906744
0449456803
Despite our seemingly tolerant, nonjudgmental society, sexual concerns are more widespread than ever before. Not only must we address the AIDS epidemic and other sexually transmitted diseases, but unrealistic expectations about body image, performance, and ability plague us as well. Add low self-esteem and it becomes impossible to enjoy the intimacy and exhilaration that come from healthy sexual relations with another human being. Renowned psychotherapist Beverly Engel understands the powerful, debilitating effects of low self-esteem and provides insight into its causes, from unspoken negative messages about sex we received as children, to traumatic first sexual encounters, to sexual abuse. With both authority and compassion, she helps you gain confidence, enjoyment, and pleasure in your life. Here are stories form! ordinary people from all walks of life, discussing their sexual issues, illuminating the problems that are so universal. here, too, is the solid, positive help they received from Engel, help that has proven successful in her practice time and again. 354 Trauma, Sexual Health
Evans, Patricia The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond 1996 1558505822 The Verbally Abusive Relationship is the first book in any language devoted to naming and describing verbally abusive relationships. Readers almost universally experience an awakening-an "ah ha" -- as they are enabled to recognize manipulation and abuse in different kinds of relationships. The book begins with a self-evaluative questionnaire and a description of the primary patterns of verbal abuse, then describes the feelings and thoughts of the typical partner of a person who indulges in verbal abuse. It then introduces fifteen categories of verbal abuse, such as accusation and trivializing, and explores the underlying dynamics of verbally abusive relationships. The reader is presented with effective responses to verbal abuse and guidelines for recovery and healing. The expanded edition (1996) includes the first edition plus the most recent developments in dealing with verbal abuse with information on: working with therapists-getting help in resolving verbal abuse issues and strategic information for the therapist and client; protecting children-how to deal with the impact of verbal abuse on families; and answers to the questions readers ask most frequently ask about verbal abuse. 222 Family
Findling, Rhonda Don't Call That Man!: A Survival Guide to Letting Go 1999 0786884274 There is life after a failed relationship, as long as you Don't Call That Man! In this inspirational, revolutionary guide to letting go and moving on after the trauma of a breakup, psychotherapist Rhonda Findling teaches women how to triumph over the almost obsessive urge to pick up the phone. With its prescriptive, easy-to-follow approach, Don't Call That Man! is an indispensable tool for weathering the pain of heartbreak. It features simple exercises that provide an emotional outlet for a difficult process; charts that schedule free time away from the telephone; and much more, including: moving on from a ruined relationship; what is an ambivalent man, and how do you get over him?; mothers, fathers and men; building and using a support system; and the 10-Step program to not call that man. Step-by-step, from heartache to healing, Don't Call That Man! is a map on how to heal the pain of a lost love; how to overcome feelings of neediness and desperation; and above all, how to regain focus on what's important and it's not calling that man. It's the perfect book to embrace on the way to a new and more gratifying relationship. 128 Codependency
Fishman, Barbara Miller Resonance -- The New Chemistry of Love: Creating a Relationship That Gives You the Intimacy and Independence You've Always Wanted 1994
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Resonance is the relationship model for the 90s that balances the scales of power and responsibility in modern-day relationships to create a vital blend of independence and intimacy. Presenting a practical model for modern relationships that provides room for both individuality and commitment, a groundbreaking psychological study examines the pulsing rhythm of successful life partnerships. This guide for couples offers advice on how to reach desired intimacy levels while maintaining independence, expand the sexual experience beyond gender roles, avoid common pitfalls, and pursue healthy and genuine relationships. 268   Relationship Health
Ford, Debbie The Darkside of the Light Chasers: Reclaiming Your Power, Creativity, Brilliance and Dreams 1998
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Debbie Ford believes that we each hold within us a trace of every human characteristic that exists, the capacity for every human emotion. We are born with the ability to express this entire spectrum of characteristics. But, Ford points out, our families and our society send us strong messages about which ones are good and bad. So when certain impulses arise, we deny them instead of confronting them, giving them a healthy voice, then letting them go. It is to these feelings that Ford turns our attention, these parts of our selves that don't fit the personae we have created for the rest of the world. She shows us the effects of living in the dark, of keeping all our supposedly unsavory impulses under wraps. We find ourselves disproportionately frustrated and angry at the selfishness of friends, the laziness of colleagues, the arrogance of siblings. When we are unable to reconcile similar impulses in ourselves, Ford explains, we waste our own energy judging others instead of empathizing. But most important, we deny ourselves the power and freedom of living authentically. Through the stories and exercises in The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, Debbie Ford shows us not only how to recognize our hidden emotions, but also how to find the gifts they offer us. The very impulses we most fear may be the key to what is lacking in our lives. 192
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Forward, Susan; Buck, Craig Obsessive Love: When It Hurts Too Much to Let Go 1992
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Is it impossible to let go -- despite the pain? Do you yearn for someone who is not physically or emotionally available to you? Do you believe that if you love him enough he will have to love you? When you feel insecure, does it drive you only to want her more? Do you find yourself phoning repeatedly or waiting long hours for the phone to ring? Do you wish someone would let go of you? Does an ex-lover or ex-spouse refuse to believe that it's over? Do you receive unwanted phone calls, letters, presents, or visits? Is this pursuit of you creating so much anxiety that it affects your physical or emotional well-being? In this invaluable self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward presents vivid case histories as well as the real-life voices of men and women caught in the grip of obsessive passion. Whether you're an obsessive lover or the target of such an obsession, here is a proven, step-by-step program that shows you how to recognize the "connection compulsion," what causes it, and how to break its hold on your life so that you can go on to build healthy, lasting, and pain-free relationships. 321
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Fossum, Merle A.; Mason, Marilyn J. Facing Shame: Families in Recovery 1989 0393305813 Perhaps the best book on families and therapy to come out of the eighties. It broke new ground in understanding shame, addictions in the family and sex addiction. It remains a great resource for anyone wanting to understand these dynamics. 186 Co-Sex Addiction Recovery
Freeman, Elisabeth A Coming Out of Sexual Addiction 2001 0759654220 Are you lying to yourself and to those you love to cover up your secret obsessions? Are you struggling with pornographic images or shameful sexual thoughts? Are you constantly driving to a store, visiting an Internet site, or seeking another place to act out your secret fantasies? But only to feel shame and regret later? If this is you or someone you love, this book is for you. You will learn: How and where to get help; From experts and recovering addicts how to kick this addiction for good; Simple, basic principles that will aid in your recovery; and Biblical truths and scriptural accounts to regain sexual purity. john friel Sex Addiction (religious)
Friel, John C; Friel, Linda D Adult Children: The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families 1988 0932194532 It is estimated that as many as 34 million people grew up in alcoholic homes. But what about the rest of us? What about families that had no alcoholism, but have perfectionism, workaholism, compulsive overeating, intimacy problems, depression, problems in expressing feelings, plus all the other personality traits that can produce a family system much like an alcoholic one? Countless millions of us struggle with these kinds of dysfunctions every day, and until very recently we struggled alone. Pulling together both theory and clinical practice, the two authors provide a readable explanation of what happened to us and how we can rectify it. 200 Co-Sex Addiction Recovery
Gallagher, Steve At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry 2000 0970220200 This book is a thorough and penetrating examination of sexual addiction. It draws back the curtain and exposes the inner workings of sexual sin in the heart, which the author understands, having lived in the bondage of it himself for over twelve years. It defines sexual addiction as a spiritual problem that requires solutions with spiritual depth. What is presented in this book is firmly rooted in Scripture and always points the man to Jesus Christ as the ultimate answer to his problems. 240 Sexual Sin (religious)
Gallagher, Steve At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry Workbook 2000 0970220219 This workbook is designed to be used directly with At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry. The reader will have to dig for answers, both in At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry and in the Scriptures, helping to cement biblical principles into his heart. Each chapter also includes questions uniquely tailored for weekly men's groups. Steve Gallagher is the founder and president of Pure Life Ministries, a ministry which helps those who are bound up in habits of sexual sin. 112 Sexual Sin Workbook (religious)
Gallagher, Vincent (Vinny) G Three Compulsions that Defeat Most Men 1992 1556612753 This very practical book helps men recognize the three most common spiritual and emotional pitfalls: workaholism, substance abuse, and sexual compulsions. 160 Sex Addiction, Compulsive Behavior (religious)
George, Kenneth D Mr. Right Is Out There: The Gay Man's Guide to Finding and Maintaining Love 2000 1555835066 This practical and accessible guide to gay romance aims to help men surrender the "Prince Charming fantasy" and learn to find and attract Mr. Right. For men who haven't examined their pasts or the ways in which they typically choose partners, the book may be as good as six months of therapy. The author provides case scenarios and "assignments" to help bring new ideas home. At the core of the suggested strategies are self-knowledge and self-esteem. "We do not consciously pick lovers who are wrong for us," writes Kenneth George. "Invariably, there is a good reason for our selection -- an emotional process to be completed, a discovery to be made, a psychological process to be worked through." Chapters like "Being Emotionally Intimate" and "Negotiating and Resolving Differences" may even be of interest to established couples, particularly the discussion of when to seek counseling and a list of ways to get through a difficult breakup. Less useful is a perfunctory chapter devoted to rekindling passion in a long-term relationship. 178 Gay Relationship Health
Gilbert, Laura Everything You Need to Know about Compulsive Sexual Behavior 2001 0823932907 Defines compulsive sexual behavior in teenagers and how it differs from the norm, discusses how it develops, and presents some of the methods available to treat the problem. 64 Sex Addiction
Goodman, Aviel Sexual Addition: An Integrated Approach 1998 082366063X This enormously detailed book brings together psychoanalytic, biological, behavioral, and social-interpersonal theories relating to sexual addiction within a coherent, closely argued theoretical framework. As the author notes, the etiology of sexual addiction is best understood through a theory that fully integrates both biological and psychological understandings. Intended for the well-educated reader. 456 Sex Addiction
Gorski, Terence T Addictive Relationships: Why Love Goes Wrong in Recovery 1993 0830906363 In this bestseller, Terry Gorski answers vital questions about intimacy and recovery. What is normal in a love relationship? How do we build healthy, intimate relationships into our recovery program? Using a generous mix of humor and self-disclosure, Gorski describes different levels at which relationships operate. He explains seven characteristics of addictive intimacy and why they feel so good in the short run and hurt so badly in the long run. He gives hope by describing characteristics of healthy intimacy and provides guidelines for relationship building and transforming. 31 Relationship Recovery
Gorski, Terence T Getting Love Right: Learning the Choices of Healthy Intimacy 1993 0671864157 It's never too late to learn how to love. When you fall in love you may be repeating bad relationship habits that you learned growing up or in a previous unhealthy relationship. No matter what your history, Getting Love Right can explain how to build and maintain healthy intimacy, including: how to recognize if you are in a compulsive, apathetic, or healthy relationship; how to become a person who is capable of healthy intimacy; and how to choose a healthy partner. If you are in a relationship or want to be in one, Terence T. Gorski will teach you that love isn't just something that happens -- love is something you can learn. Self-assessments and questionnaires at the end of each chapter help readers apply the principals and practical skills to their own lives and, by renouncing old patterns, move on toward true, healthy intimacy. 366 Relationship Recovery
Gorski, Terence T Relationship Building and Transforming: The Levels of Platonic and Erotic Love 1993 083090638X Gorski describes compulsive, healthy and apathetic relationship styles and the five levels of relationship buildingacquaintanceship, companionship, friendship, romantic love, and committed love. He also describes levels of erotic relationships, including attraction, flirtation, sensual involvement, and sexual involvement. 111 Relationship Recovery
Gorski, Terence T The Players and Their Personalities: Understanding People Who Get Involved in Addictive Relationships 1989 0830905537 This book delves into the co-dependent, counter dependant situations of a relationship. It helps you to understand what is happening between you and your significant other. It explains how one personality feeds upon the other; one personality receives affirmation from the other. Not necessarily are these affirmations healthy. This book describes two types of personalities that interact in an addictive relationship and their motivation to get involved and stay involved. The information presented here is excellent for use in self-help discussion groups. 112 Relationship Addiction, Codependency
Gottman, John Mordechai; Silver, Nan The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work 2000 0609805797 According to most relationship books, the key to a solid marriage is communication. Instead, John Gottman, Ph.D., suggests there's much more to a solid, "emotionally intelligent" marriage than sharing every feeling and thought. He has found through studying hundreds of couples in his "love lab" that it only takes five minutes for him to predict -- with 91 percent accuracy -- which couples will eventually divorce. He shares the four not-so-obvious signs of a troubled relationship that he looks for. Gottman debunks many myths about divorce (primary among them that affairs are at the root of most splits). He also reveals surprising facts about couples who stay together. They do engage in screaming matches. And they certainly don't resolve every problem. "Take Allan and Betty," he writes. "When Allan gets annoyed at Betty, he turns on ESPN. When Betty is upset with him, she heads for the mall. Then they regroup and go on as if nothing's happened. Never in forty-five years of marriage have they sat down to have a 'dialogue' about their relationship." While this may sound like a couple in trouble, Gottman found that they pass the love-lab tests and say honestly that "they are both very satisfied with their relationship and they love each other deeply." Through a series of in-depth quizzes, checklists, and exercises, similar to the ones he uses in his workshops, Gottman provides the framework for coping with differences and strengthening your marriage. His profiles of troubled couples rescued from the brink of divorce and those of still-happy couples who reinvigorate their relationships are equally enlightening. 271 Rebuilding Relationships
Gray, John How to Get What You Want -- And Want What You Have: A Practical and Spiritual Guide to Personal Success 1999
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Millions of Oprah viewers have witnessed the power of John Gray's healing advice. Now this master therapist takes therapy to the next level, teaching how we can each tap into a joyous approach to living, with his #1 New York Times bestseller. This brilliant personal success program combines Western healing techniques with Eastern meditation and presents an innovative and proven method to become happy, confident, and at peace through his five steps to personal success: understanding your soul's desire and releasing negative emotions. 310
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Success
Gray, John Men, Women, and Relationships: Making Peace With the Opposite Sex 1990
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From the bestselling author of the blockbuster Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus and What Your Mother Couldn't Tell You and Your Father Don't Know comes this enlightening exploration of the common differences between men and women that brings valuable insights to the workings of male-female relationships. Real love is unconditional. People are different. These are two statements with which most adults would agree. Yet, while recognizing that we are different is an essential part of creating a positive and loving relationship, many of us are instead intent on changing our partners so that they act and react more like ourselves. According to Dr. Gray, unconditional love is not possible without the recognition and acceptance of our differences. It is only through respecting and even appreciating them that we can eliminate many of the problems that plague our relationships. Overcoming differences such as those found in how men and women communicate, how they cope with stress and deal with conflict resolution, as well as what it means to each gender to feel loved, is a major step toward giving of ourselves unconditionally, and achieving happiness and fulfillment in our relationships. Each of us is unique - stop denying it and start celebrating it! It's the very essence not only of a loving and mutually supportive relationship, but of a better world for us all. 306
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$12.95 Intimacy, Communication, Interpersonal Skills
Gray, John What Your Mother Couldn't Tell You and Your Father Didn't Know: Advanced Relationship Skills for Better Communication and Lasting Intimacy 1994
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In his runaway year-long number one New York Times bestseller, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, John Gray showed us how we can improve relationships with the opposite sex by understanding, accepting, and respecting the differences between men and women and strengthening communication. His insights into gender differences and his practical advice struck a chord with millions of readers and saved many thousands of relationships. Now, in his provocative and important new book, What Your Mother Couldn't Tell You and Your Father Didn't Know, Gray answers the questions that our parents could not about relating and communicating with the opposite sex. Times have changed. The old ways of relating, which may have worked for our parents, are definitely out-of-date and sometimes counterproductive. Relationships today require new skills to achieve lasting fulfillment. Having a husband who brings home a paycheck or a wife who maintains a nice, clean home is no longer enough. John Gray draws upon his extensive work with singles and couples in his seminars to point us in a new direction. He promises--and delivers--the necessary information for creating and sustaining loving and mutually fulfilling relationships. He offers a new seed that, when planted and watered, will grow into a relationship that is not only loving but lasting. By teaching relationship skills that address contemporary individuals' and couples' needs, John Gray offers practical ways in which to enjoy and celebrate the differences between men and women in peace and with passion. 448
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Relationships, Marriage, Interpersonal Skills
Green, Dr. Bernard Love Slaves: How to End Your Addiction to Another Person 1993 1558502904 204 Love Addiction
Griffin, David Ray (Ed.) The Reenchantment of Science: Postmodern Proposals 1988 0887067859
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From the SUNY Series in Constructive Postmodern Thought. A small collection of ten essays on the philosophy of science and religion, including "Postmodern Science and a Postmodern World," "The Laws of Nature as Habits," and "The Postmodern Heresy -- Consciousness as Causal." Includes bibliographies and index. 173
Science and Social Philosophy
Griffin-Shelley, Eric Adolescent Sex and Love Addicts 1994 0275946819 Of those which deal with sex and love addiction, this work is alone in that it examines adolescents as a specific population. It argues that teenagers can be and often are as addicted to sex and love as to drugs and alcohol. The number of case histories presented in the text are a prominent feature. The work should be of interest to clinicians and clients both. The book addresses the case of adolescent sex and love addicts as was done with adolescent chemical dependents 20 years ago. Topics covered include: abuse, nymphomania, compulsive masturbation, and child molestation. The book encompasses psychotherapeutic solutions. Suggests methods of diagnosis, treatment and directions for research. 184 Sex and Relationship Addictions
Griffin-Shelley, Eric Sex and Love: Addiction, Treatment and Recovery 1991
1997
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The National Institute of Health has identified sexual addiction as a research priority. This volume provides a detailed definition of sex and love addiction as well as an explicit outline of treatment and recovery. It uniquely integrates sex and love in its formulation and presents a two level approach to recovery. This presentation provides in-depth examples and suggestions for change and supports the growing involvement of Twelve-Step programs in mental health. Professionals will find this volume an excellent resource in their clinical practice. 224
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Griffin-Shelley, Eric (Ed.) Outpatient Treatment of Sex and Love Addicts 1993 027594316X Based on papers presented at the Annual Conference of the Eastern Psychological Association in New York in April 1991. It addresses diagnostic, neurochemical and treatment issues of sexual compulsivity. It includes a description of an intensive therapy program, (consisting of psychoeducational groups, same-sex group psychotherapy and 12-Step meetings), designed to treat the sexually addicted patient. 176 Sex and Relationship Addictions
Grof, Christina The Thirst for Wholeness: Attachment, Addiction, and the Spiritual Path 1993
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"A provocative reevaluation of addictive behavior that considers it not within the prevalent "disease model," as California-based therapist Grof puts it, but within the context of a universal need for spiritual satisfaction. Grof's understanding of addiction is firsthand and hard-won: She's a recovering alcoholic and draws on her experience ("The day I hit bottom with my alcoholism, I was brought to my knees") to ground what's sometimes an otherwise heady, theory-laden argument. The heart of the argument is that society's growing tendency to consider all addiction--as well as the "attachments" (to money, prestige, other people, etc.) that characterize much human behavior--as disease "paints a picture of humanity as being universally sick." Instead, Grof proposes "a wellness model for the understanding and treatment of addictions." That model -- worked out with reference to spiritual teachings from Hinduism to Jung -- posits that we each consist of two "selves": a "deeper," perhaps divine, self that's our original nature, and a grafted-on "small self," equivalent to the ego. From prenatal days onward, Grof says, we're pushed by outside, often abusive, forces away from the greater self and into the smaller self. Yet we retain a "craving" for the deeper self, which most of us try to slake through inappropriate means--through the pursuit of wealth, for example, or, in the case of addicts, through drug highs. Addictive behavior thus springs from a healthy impulse to return to the deeper self -- which, in fact, can be recovered only through spiritual practices. Addicts probably should work with the Twelve Steps, which the author reads as a spiritual blueprint, though one rife with pitfalls. Grof's two-selves model of human nature is as old as the myth of the Fall; but her application of it to addiction is inspired, well argued, and alight with hope and promise. 283
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Addictions, Spirituality
Grunder, T. M.; Grunder, Tom M. The Skinner Box Effect: Sexual Addiction and Online Pornography 2000 0595093248 These are the facts: 1. Among the millions of people on the Internet there exists a significant percentage for which online pornography is not, and never will be, a "recreational pursuit." Rather it is, or soon will become an addiction. 2. Researchers and clinicians have established that pornography addiction contains all the characteristics of any other kind of addiction: mood altercation, compulsion, dependency, the need for higher and more exotic "doses" and withdrawal symptoms when the person tries to stop. 3. Because of the "Skinner Box Effect," pornography on the Internet is different and far more virulent than the customary forms. The reason is because it derives its potency from both the content of what is seen, and from the way it is presented to the user by the technology itself. For those suffering from the problem, Dr. Grundner provides a series of behavioral and spiritual techniques to help stop the downward spiral. Over 30 personal accounts are presented -- taken directly from the Internet itself -- of the pain, suffering, loss of jobs, and failed marriages that have resulted from online pornography and sexual addiction. The Skinner Box Effect is a warning, but one which contains a large measure of hope. 153 Sex and Pornography Addiction
Hall, Laurie Sharlene An Affair of the Mind: One Woman's Courageous Battle to Salvage Her Family from the Devastation of Pornography 1998 1561794643 Laurie Hall's story reveals pornography's subversive side and offers comfort, encouragement, insight, and a plan of action to women whose husbands are addicted. Sharing the author's story of her courageous struggle to rebuild a family devastated by her husband's addiction to pornography, this book offers hope and encouragement for women in similar situations. It also helps sexual addicts to see the harm their addiction causes to their families. 288 Co-addiction, Pornography (Christian)
Halpern, Howard Marvin Finally Getting It Right: From Addictive Love to the Real Thing 1994 0553090038 Practical advice by psychotherapist Halpern (How to Break Your Addition to a Person, 1982) on how to end a bad relationship and expand your capacity to have a good one. Halpern's thesis is a simple one: If you are in a good relationship, you will feel better about yourself and your life. To achieve this "you must give up your lifelong task of trying to make someone unavailable available, someone ungiving giving and someone unloving loving." Halpern's common-sense, pop-psych approach is readable and candid. He encourages his readers to analyze just what it is about themselves that causes them to be attracted to people they should be avoiding. There are plenty of clichés, but for the most part Halpern eschews pat, one-size-fits- all formulas, and he doesn't talk down to his readers or get self- promoting like so many of his colleagues in this genre. He offers valuable insights into what kinds of romantic expectations are realistic. In a chapter on "Navigating Love's Paradoxes" he shows how the road to a love relationship is "replete with contradictions" -- such as the desire to be independent and the need to be "dependably connected." Using the how-to format to best advantage, Halpern offers many checklists (including those that test one's capacity to receive love and those that evaluate one's relationship), realistic case histories, and a bibliography that ranges from Sigmund Freud to Judith Kuriansky. Readers with the guts to pick up this book might well be able to break out of their unhealthy relationships and "finally get it right." 261 Relationship Addiction, Love
Halpern, Howard Marvin How to Break Your Addiction to a Person: When and Why Love Doesn't Work and What to Do About It 1982
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Are you in love--or addicted? How to know when to call it quits... and how to find the courage to call it quits. Are you unable to leave a love relationship even though it gives you more pain than joy? Your judgment and self-respect tell you to end it, but still, to your dismay, you hang on. You are addicted--to a person. Now there is an insightful, step-by-step guide to breaking that addiction -- and surviving the split. Drawing on dozens of provocative case histories, psychotherapist Howard Helpern explains to you: why you can get addicted to a person; why and how you may try to deceive yourself ("He really loves me, he just doesn't know how to show it."); how you can recognize the symptoms of a bad relationship; how to deal with the power moves and guilt trips your partner uses to hold you; why strong feelings of jealousy do not mean you are "in love;" how to get through the agonizing breakup period -- without going back; and how not to get caught in such a painful relationship again. 262
Separation, Autonomy
Harris, Amy Bjork; Harris, Thomas Anthony Staying OK 1985 0060153156 How to get out from under personal probllems by substituting positive feelings in yourself and encouraging the avoidance of oppressive, negative feelings in your children and others. Explores all the things that get in the way of feeling OK and prescribes specific tools for overcoming them. 297 Transactional Analysis
Harville, Hendrix Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples 2001 0805068953 When Harville Hendrix writes about relationships, he discusses them not just as an educator and a therapist, but as a man who has himself been through a failed marriage. Hendrix felt the sting of his divorce intensely because he believed it signaled not only his failure as a husband but also his failure as a couples counselor. Investigating why his marriage dissolved led him to start looking into the psychology of love. Marriage, he ultimately discovered, is the "practice of becoming passionate friends." As a result of his research, Hendrix created a therapy he calls Imago Relationship Therapy. In it, he combines what he's learned in a number of disciplines, including the behavioral sciences, depth psychology, cognitive therapy, and Gestalt therapy, to name just a few. His purpose in writing the book, he says, is "to share with you what I have learned about the psychology of love relationships, and to help you transform your relationship into a lasting source of love and companionship." Divided into three sections, the book covers "The Unconscious Marriage," which details a marriage in which the remaining desires and behavior of childhood interfere with the current relationship; "The Conscious Marriage," which shows a marriage that fulfils those childhood needs in a positive manner; and a 10-week "course in relationship therapy," which gives detailed exercises for you and your partner to follow in order to learn how to replace confrontation and criticism with a healing process of mutual growth and support. 320 Rebuilding Relationships
Hastings, Anne Stirling America's Sexual Crisis: Discovering Healthy Sex by Healing Culturally Caused Shame, Addiction, and Sexual Distortion 1996 158741080X As America's sexual liberties have increased, sexual problems have also increased. Culturally caused shame, guilt, addiction, and sexual distortion continue to afflict millions. Dr. Anne Stirling Hastings, an innovative psychologist, draws on her own sexual healing and study of America's sexual crises to provide help and hope for those seeking healthy sexuality. Dr. Hastings confronts our most closely held views of sexuality, such as the belief in a powerful, dominating sex drive, and the perception of monogamy as an ideal to force ourselves to live up to. The book is a consciousness-raising work for readers who want a new understanding of past distortions and future possibilities of their own sexuality. This book will be a welcome guide for mental health professionals, sex educators, and anyone who is looking for a viable alternative to our culture's inaccurate views of sex. 360 Sexual Recovery, Shame
Hastings, Anne Stirling Body and Soul: Sexuality on the Brink of Change 1996 0306454009 Virtually all Americans are sexual cripples because of our culture's deep-rooted belief that sexuality is sinful, an attitude transmitted by parents through shaming in childhood, declares clinical psychologist Hastings. In this earnest, opinionated and not altogether convincing study supported by case material from her practice in Bellevue, Wash., she sets a high standard for monogamy, arguing that sexual bonding is by nature exclusive, and that if both partners are fully engaged in their relationship, neither person will have carnal interest in anyone else. Hastings places rejection of the body in Western societies on a continuum of cultural distortions that encompasses female circumcision in Africa and child prostitution in Thailand. American's stigmatization of homosexuality, she asserts, multiplies the effects of sexual shaming, because each of us has the potential for same-sex attraction, even if we don't act upon it. Sexual repression, she believes, induces people to find an outlet in erotic addictions, whether in the form of extramarital affairs, pornography or compulsive flirting. Calling sexual fantasizing a sickness, she excoriates sex guru Ruth Westheimer for advising people to use pornographic pictures, movies and books to arouse sexual energy. 343 Shame, Sexuality
Hastings, Anne Stirling Discovering Sexuality that will Satisfy You Both: When Couples Want Differing Amounts and Different Kinds of Sex 1993
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Anne Stirling Hastings' books help understand what we can do in order to discover what kind of sex is possible and healthy. We can love our spouses, and that sex can SEEM so ordinary -- yet it is vastly better than the addictive/compulsive type. The passion that can occur with little physical stimulation is of a different nature than what we get when having sex watching pornography or in a conquest. This book is for anyone who really wants to find out what sex was meant to be; what it can be. Shame is greatly reduced. This book is a wonderful paradigm shift on the subject of sex. The commercial standard that sex is portrayed in our society is revealed for what it is. The reader is faced with the choice to continue in that frustrating vein or open the mind to the possibilities of resusitating the natural sexuality that is in of us all. 223
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Sex Addiction, Intimacy
Hastings, Anne Stirling From Generation to Generation: Understanding Sexual Attraction to Children 1994
2000
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Dr. Hastings gently speaks the unspeakable. For all of us who were sexually abused as children, this book helps us understand why. For those of us adults that have gone on to be sexual with children, Dr. Hastings helps us tackle our deep shame and secrecy. Required reading for all healing from society's betrayal of the child. Dr. Hastings deals with women who are sexual with children. The least known and harshest treated. She objectively debunks the myth that "sex offenders" can be treated by just tackling the now issues. Sex addiction, including that to children, has to be dealt with holistically. Focusing just on so-called "deviant" behavior just moves the problem elsewhere. 223
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Pedophilis, Sexual Abuse Victims
Hastings, Anne Stirling Reclaiming Healthy Sexual Energy: Keeping Sex from Controlling Your Life 1991
2000
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We live in a culture that is out of touch spiritually -- we aren't aware of our physical bodies, our relationships or our place in the ecology of the earth. Sexuality is one facet of our spiritual nature. It has suffered abuse as deeply as any of our other spiritual dimensions. Reclaiming Healthy Sexual Energy author Dr. Anne Stirling Hastings is concerned that sexuality has been repressed and our bodies have been shamed for so long that our sexual behavior is often addictive and distorted. Until we can reclaim our sexual energy in a healthy way, we are lost in a morass of misinformation about other people, our children's needs, our community and the physical earth. Using examples of body awareness and visualizations, she suggests ways to reclaim our innocent, healthy sexual energy and become catalysts for change in our society. 225
Sexuality, Dependency
Hastings, Anne Stirling Treating Sexual Shame: A New Map for Overcoming Dysfunction, Abuse and Addiction 1997 0765701030 In therapy, as in the world at large, sexuality is different from other issues because of the culturally imposed secrecy and shame that inhibit open, non-defended talk about it. Anne Stirling Hastings, Ph.D., who specializes in treating the overlapping sexual problems of abuse, addiction, and dysfunction, encourages clinicians to recognize and overcome their own shame as a precondition to eliciting and advancing their clients' awareness. The need to heal from sexual shame, both cultural and idiosyncratic, underlies the healing of all other forms of sexual distress, dysfunction, abuse, and addiction. In people inhibited from experiencing natural interest in/arousal by a partner, shame makes imperatives of fantasy and pornography and leads to the linkage of sex with things non-sexual. Masturbation, homosexuality, the unconventional paraphilias, here dubbed "cross-wirings," and the dynamics of flirtations, jealousy, and extramarital affairs, all get a new look through Dr. Hastings' lens of shame as concomitant cause and effect of sexual behaviors. Case histories animate her salutary and unusually accessible corrective. 331 Sex Therapy, Shame
Hatterer, Lawrence J The Pleasure Addicts: The Addictive Process -- Food, Sex, Drugs, Alcohol, Work and More 1980 0498022854 Dr Lawrence Hatterer is a New York psychiatrist, a noted expert in the field of high risk and addictive behaviors encompassing sex, drugs, alcohol, food, work and gambling, and he also specializes in the fields of human sexuality and integrity. Most people associate addiction with chemical substances like drugs and alcohol, but the same mechanism is at work in sex addiction and it is as old as history. Initially all the addictive behaviours are pleasurable. By the time the person is burned out... they move into the stage of the addictive process that has more pain than pleasure. 387 Compulsive Behavior
Hayes, Jody; Redl, Maureen Smart Love: Changing Painful Patterns, Choosing Healthy Relationships: A Codependence Recovery Program Based on Relationship Addiction Support Groups 1989 0874774721 The founder of the first WWLTM support group in San Francisco offers a do-it-yourself program full of questionnaires, quotations, exercises, and proven tools that assist in recovering from addictive or otherwise negative relationship patterns. The book also includes first-person accounts from women who have met the challenges of moving through each stage of recovery. 180 Relationship Addiction
Helmlinger, Trudy After You've Said Goodbye: How To Recover After Ending a Relationship: Learning How to Stand Alone 1977
1977
1982
1982
0870737910
0846702142
0932370357
0932370365
273
273
288
288
  Grief
Hemfelt, Robert; Minirth, Frank; Meier, Paul Love Is a Choice: The Groundbreaking Book on Recovery for Codependent Relationships 1989
1989
1996
0840771711
0840731892
0785275304
Let the doctors of the Minirth-Meier Clinic walk you through their ten proven stages of recovery from co-dependency, introducing a new dimension: the important stage of seeing God's unconditional love as the answer to your deepest emotional needs. You may be dependent upon alcohol or drugs, money, work, food, or sexuality for happiness -- or maybe you love someone who is. This national bestseller offers a recovery process to codependency that will help you discover the power of healthy relationships. Excellent resource for recovery groups in your church. 284   Codependency
Hemfelt, Robert; Minirth, Frank; Meier, Paul; Newman, Deborah; Newman, Brian Love Is a Choice Workbook: Recovery for Codependent Relationships 1989 0840733372 Let the doctors of the Minirth-Meier Clinic counsel you directly, using their proven interactive techniques, through the Love Is a Choice Workbook. This workbook is based on the recovery principles found in the bestseller, Love Is a Choice. Love Is a Choice Workbook defines the Minirth-Meier Clinic's ten-stage plan and guides you through the plan using interactive questions, self-tests, exercise, and journaling that will help you find healing from the pain that created your codependency. This workbook helps readers to step back and examine their lives and then effectively deal with their codependency at their own pace. The book can be used independently, or with Love Is a Choice, to help you break the cycle of codependency and be free to make new choices... free to choose love. 282 Workbook, Codependency
Hooper, Anne Sex: The Manual 2001 1841660647 A different kind of book about sex by one of the best-known authors in the business. People have made a fetish out of sex. Somewhere along the line, the idea evolved that sex should be done in private and that public sex is unacceptable. In fact the prohibitions around sex go much further, prescribing how sex should be done, what constitutes 'good sex' and what makes for sexual failure. This manual is designed to start readers thinking about their sexual attitudes, specifically about the unconscious ideas they possess regarding what is right and wrong, so that they can progress to, at least, contemplating other approaches. By doing so they may be able to see that their present sexual situation has value of its own, even if by generally accepted measurements it seems distressing. But the book seeks to go further than making readers feel better. By bringing a more creative attitude to sexual relationships, people may discover that they can tackle a number of sexual difficulties that previously proved intransigent. This is not a 'how-to' sex manual in the mechanical tradition although some 'how-to' is included. Each section works on specific aspects of sex by introducing ideas about how they can be regarded differently. By re-framing ideas, attitudes towards sex can be calmed sufficiently for personal strengths and values to emerge from the all-too-common fog of stress and unhappiness. 160 Sexual Health
Hopkins, Nancy Myer; Laaser, Mark (Ed.) Restoring the Soul of a Church: Reconciling Congregations Wounded by Clergy Sexual Misconduct 1995
1998
0814623336
1566991641
This book reflects over a decade of experience in working with wounded congregations by a task force of key professionals. The Interfaith Sexual Trauma Institute has commissioned this pastoral work which focuses on the healing of congregations following clergy sexual misconduct. The book discusses the original problem of sexual misconduct and exploitation and then focuses on those neglected "secondary" victims of abuse: the congregation, the wider community, other clergy, the wider church, the offender's family, and the pastor who takes over. 255
272
Sex and Religion
Hunt, Jane Hope and Help for Sexual Addiction: Biblical Counseling 2001 0971179239 Too many people-men, women and teenagers in epidemic proportions-are shackled to the shame of sexual addiction. And a large percentage feel they are caught in a web and are too entrapped to get out. But for those who are trapped within the sinister net of this web, there is hope. Biblically based counseling to help those entrapped in sexual addictions. 80 Sex Addiction (Christian)
Hunter, Mic Abused Boys: The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse 1991 0449906299 Mic Hunter has made many contributions to both the addiction and trauma fields. This is one of the very best books available about men and sexual abuse. Useful for both patients and therapists. The sexual abuse of boys is a problem that has remained veiled in myth and misinformation. While the sexual abuse of female children has been widely documented, there are lingering assumptions that the sexual abuse of male children is rare, that the consequences are less serious than for girls, and even that boys share responsibility with their perpetrators. Psychologist Mic Hunter explodes these myths and offers an overview of the recovery process. After defining exactly what sexual abuse is, Hunter examines the physical and emotional impact of abuse on its victims, and the factors affecting adult recovery. Loaded with stories of adult men and their loved ones who describe the experience of childhood abuse, this book helps survivors find the hope and strength to recover and lead fulfilled adult lives. 339 Trauma
Hunter, Mic When Someone You Love is Addicted to Sex: The First Step 2000 158741094X Written by Dr. Mic Hunter, a nationally recognized sex therapist, and Jem, a recovering co-dependent in love with someone addicted to sex, this is a guide to the tragic life of individuals addicted to sex and their partners who struggle with it. The book explains in a compassionate and understanding way how difficult it is to break this addiction, and offers hope to co-dependents that love someone addicted to sex. 114 Co-addiction
Irons, Richard; Schneider, Jennifer P The Wounded Healer: Addiction-sensitive Approach to the Sexually Exploitative Professional 1999 1568217633 Professionals are as human as those they serve. Sexual relationships and other improprieties occur between doctors, ministers, or therapists and their patients, parishioners, or clients. Virtually all such "romances" are destructive, not only for the protagonists but for their families. This book helps clinicians understand and treat the professional who has had sexual contact with a patient or client. Over half of these wounded healers have sexual disorders with addictive features, and fully one-third are addicted to alcohol and/or other drugs. This has clear implications for treatment and re-entry into professional work. Assessment and treatment of the victim are also addressed, with the assurance that healing does eventually come to most of those touched by this painful and unfortunate situation 272 Sex Addiction Treatment, Sexually Abused Patients
Isensee, Rik Reclaiming Your Life: The Gay Man's Guide to Love, Self-Acceptance, and Trust 1997 1555834221 This book was formerly titled Growing Up Gay in a Dysfunctional Family: a Guide for Gay Men Reclaiming Their Lives and is the best title out there for understanding and recovering from an abusive gay relationship dynamic. Growing up in a homophobic culture can be very similar to growing up in a dysfunctional family -- because of secretiveness, shame, and self-blame associated with homosexuality. Some gay men internalize the negativity that surrounds them and get caught in a trap of self-destructive behavior. Some also develop a false self as a defense against attacks on self-esteem. With the weight of both personal insight and professional experience, Isensee gently shows readers how to safely get out of that trap. Clearly and compassionately written, Reclaiming Your Life will encourage many men to abandon self-destructive behavior in order to move toward creating their lives with self-acceptance, love, and trust in a supportive community. Using remarkably jargon-free language, Isensee presents a systematic process of recovery for gay men, helping them to identify internalized oppression so that they can reclaim their lives. 242 Gay Relationship Health
J., Ron Impossible Joy: The Good News for Lust and Sex Addicts and Other Sinners 1999 0961483113 Impossible Joy chronicles the author's journey through sex addiction and 23 years of 12 Step recovery. From a religious "believism," which did not work, to a personal encounter with the One who really does loose from the power of lust and cleanse. Gives readers a Scripturally sound basis for making their own saving Connection. What emerges is a real Jesus for "For Sinners Only," a new view of the humanity of the Son of man put in practical terms, promising not only sobriety but joyous recovery and freedom: fulfillment of what the Steps prepare the way for -- finding what our lust was really looking for. 276 Sex Addiction (religious)
James, Jennifer Addicted to Love: Facts About Sexual Addictions 1999 0892302232 Sex Addiction
Jamison, Heather Reclaiming Intimacy: Overcoming the Consequences of Premarital Relationships 2001 0825429404 An estimated 80% of married Americans were not virgins when they were married. Although our culture would have us believe differently, sex outside of marriage leaves a residue of guilt and resentment that leads to the smothering of current and future relationships. Even if the couple marries, the foundations of marriage of trust and authentic intimacy are seriously damaged. The author, Heather Jamison, and her husband, Brian, discovered these truths the hard way and their greatest desire is to see that no one else waits as long as they did to confront their history together. Reclaiming Intimacy is a personal, practical story of the pursuit of intimacy; it's destruction; and the keys to nurturing that intimacy back to health. This book gives both a model for others struggling with this issue and practical plan to forgive, repent... and ultimately to reclaim lost intimacy. 176 Relationship Recovery
Jordan, Paul; Paul, Margaret Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved By You?: [For Couples Who Want Their Love To Last] 1983
1983
1994
1997
2002
0896380637
0896380645
1568380682
1567310672
1568387962
Being in love with your partner feels wonderful! But when conflict arises, unfortunately the euphoria soon disappears. Your mate may not be in the mood to talk when you are. Maybe you argue about sex or spending money. These things are very upsetting! Now, instead of love, you feel anger, disappointment, or hurt. Here, in this widely acclaimed best seller, couples can learn how to work through conflict in ways that create more love and intimacy, not less. The paths through conflict are illustrated in chart form and then explained in detail. Other chapters relate the fears and false beliefs that act as obstacles to loving feelings. In addition, a whole section of exercises is provided for couples to explore together their feelings and beliefs about values, power struggles, sexual expectations, etc. Recommended highly by marriage therapists and religious groups across the country, this book has become a classic text for couples who want the richness and depth of lifetime love relationships. 312
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  Couple Recovery
Jordan, Paul; Paul, Margaret Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved By You?: The Workbook 1989
1992
2002
0896382656
1568380518
1568387970
This is a companion workbook to the 1983 bestseller "How To Love When It Hurts So Bad," designed to help couples explore their personal feelings and attitudes as they work to achieve a deeper more fulfilling marriage. Highly recommend, this comprehensive and valuable book helps those who are seeking a deeper understanding of themselves and who wish to change their responses to the people in their lives through the use of practical, workable, everday methods. 224
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  Couple Recovery
Kasl, Charlotte Davis Many Roads, One Journey: Moving Beyond the Twelve Steps 1992 0060965185 A timely and controversial second look at 12-step programs, helping all readers to draw on the steps' underlying wisdom, adapting them to their own experiences, beliefs, and sources of strength. This book is a major contribution to the understanding and healing of sex addiction, romance addiction, and sexual codependency in women. It is full of wisdom and insight, shedding light on what happens to women in our society, how they survive it, and some roads to self-respect. 430 Compulsive Behavior, Codependency, 12-Steps
Kasl, Charlotte Davis Women, Sex and Addiction: A Search for Love and Power 1989
1990
0899195199
0060973218
A breakthrough guide to help women understand sexual addiction, romance addiction and sexual codependency and to lead them to recovery. Women will learn to experience their sexuality as a source of love and positive power, and sex as an expression that honors the soul as well as the body. In our society, sex can easily become the price many women pay for love and the illusion of security. A woman who seeks a sense of personal power and an escape from pain may use sex and romance as a way to feel in control, just as an alcoholic uses alcohol; but sex never satisfies her longing for love and self-worth. In this wise and compassionate book, Charlotte Kasl shows women how they can learn to experience their sexuality as a source for love and positive power and sex as an expression that honors the soul as well as the body. 416
401
Relationship Addiction, Codependency
Kellogg, Terry Broken Toys Broken Dreams: Understanding and Healing Codependency, Compulsive Behaviors and Family 1990 1560730013 This is the first book that really looks candidly at the problems that individuals face when they are codependent. Throughout the book, Terry Kellogg refuses to excuse or deny behaviors while connecting with the multifacets of this problem. Helpful for changing behaviors, and participating more fully, naturally, and wisely in life. Easy language and clearly written. 312 Codependency Recovery
Kipnis, Aaron; Herron, Elizabeth What Women and Men Really Want: Creating Deeper Understanding and Love in Our Relationships 1995 1882591240 What Women and Men Really Want tells the story of a week long, encounter between a group of women and men. In this account of a groundbreaking summit meeting of the sexes Dr. Kipnis and Elizabeth Herron guide the participants toward mutual respect, understanding and compassion. Through a series of adventures and encounters, the participants learn how to communicate the potent depths of anger, fear, grief, love and appreciation between women and men. They also discover a way to create a map for peace between the sexes, a vision in which women and men can recognize and respect both their genuine differences and shared challenges. Weaving together dialogues from the participants' discussions along with the latest ideas about differences between the sexes, Kipnis and Herron present a detailed and surprisingly optimistic portrait of the potential for communication and personal growth between women and men, growth that celebrates diversity, rather than condemning it. Provocative, fresh and powerful, What Women and Men Really Want begins a new era of understanding and partnership between the sexes. 208 Relationship Health
Kirshenbaum, Mira Our Love is Too Good to Feel So Bad: A Step-by-step Guide to Identifying and Eliminating the Love Killers in Your Relationship 1998 0380976080 A guide to diagnosing what's wrong in a relationship and how to make it better again. Through 14 years of research into the ways couples solve individual problems, psychotherapist and bestselling author Mira Kirshenbaum has identified 10 love killers that cause all the painful and mysterious troubles couples get into. Using specific questions, this book shows how to diagnose and identify the love killer responsible for a couples' specific problems. For every love killer, this book presents a corresponding love builder: a solution that can help heal a relationship and make love better than ever. 318 Relationships, Interpersonal Skills
Kirshenbaum, Mira Too Good To Leave, Too Bad To Stay: A Step-by-step Guide to Helping You Decide Whether to Stay In or Get Out of Your Relationship 1996
1997
0525940693
0452275350
How bad does a relationship have to be before getting out is the only answer? In this book, psychotherapist Mira Kirshenbaum draws on years of experience as a counselor -- and includes actual case studies -- to lead readers from a state of painful ambivalence to a clear sense of knowing what to do. A careful line of questions and self-analysis, taking one crucial issue after another into account, is designed to get to the heart of relationship problems. The book doesn't try to pigeon-hole people into groups, or take sides, or give only one answer. Mira Kirshenbaum is a very fair and well-informed person, and she counsels, suggests, and advises, rather than trying to give clear-cut answers to the myriad of problems that arise in relationships. The reader is encouraged to list the good and bad aspects of their particular situation, to discuss, to work on it. The key to the success of a relationship, or to possibly salvaging one on the brink, is to work and communicate. 288 Relationship Addiction
Kirshenbaum, Mira Women and Love 1999
2000
2001
0380976943
0380802228
0788198572
Kirshenbaum, a psychotherapist, challenges modern women to get as much from their love lives as from their careers. She calls her book "a handbook of the heart," and the advice is fairly commonsensical: don't change anything in your life (e.g., apartment or job) until you feel sure of the relationship. She advises readers on how to judge a good prospective mate, maintain a satisfying relationship, and break up a bad one. From interviews with clients, she offers a variety of perspectives on what love means to different women. Kirshenbaum examines patterns in the women's relationships to detect faulty assumptions and attitudes to determine how to make changes that lead to better relationships and a better self-image. She offers diagnoses and prescriptions for each of her subjects. 274   Love
Klausner, Mary Ann; Hasselbring, Bobbie Aching for Love: The Sexual Drama of the Adult Child: Healing Strategies for Women 1990 0062504827 This book explores the after effects of child sexual abuse. It's impact depends on: duration and frequency of abuse; type of sexual activity; use of force and aggression; age at onset; age, gender, and relationship to abuser; passive submission or will participation of the child; direct or indirect telling with no support; parental reaction; and institutional response. It also explores how the survivor is effected emotionally, physically, in relationships problems, sexually, and behaviorally. 210 Sexual Health
Knauer, Sandra; Knauer, Sandy Recovering from Sexual Abuse, Addictions and Compulsive Behaviors: "Numb" Survivors 2002 0789014572
0789014580
Pt. I The Development of Addictive and Compulsive Behaviors -- Ch. 1 The Need for Anesthesia; Ch. 2 The Nature of Addiction, Compulsion, and the Trance State: An Addict's Limited Range of Dysfunctional Choices; Ch. 3 Family-of-Origin Issues: How the Stage Is Set for Addictions and Compulsions; Ch. 4 Feeling "Less Than"; Ch. 5 Life Through Gray-Colored Lenses; Ch. 6 Fear As a Catalyst for Addictive Behaviors; Ch. 7 Violence As an Outgrowth of Shame, Fear, and Depression; Ch. 8 Drugs and Alcohol As Anesthesia; Ch. 9 Weight Issues, Eating Disorders, and Disturbed Body Image As Anesthesia; Ch. 10 Codependency As an Addiction; Ch. 11 Sexual Addiction and Sexual Codependency; Ch. 12 Religious Addiction versus Spirituality; Ch. 13 Assorted Addictions and Compulsions Commonly Seen in Survivors; Ch. 14 Switching Addictions. Pt. II The Recovery Process -- Ch. 15 Establishing Healthy Boundaries; Ch. 16 Addictions As a Spiritual Issue; Ch. 17 Using the Twelve Steps for Healing from Sexual Abuse, Addictions, and Compulsive Behaviors. Appendices: Letters from the Survivors' Groups; Support Groups and Resources; Bibliography; Index. 367   Compulsive Behavior, Sexual Abuse Victims, Self-esteem
Kominars, Sheppard B; Kominars, Kathryn D Accepting Ourselves and Others: A Journey into Recovery from Addictive and Compulsive Behavior for Gays, Lesbians, and Bisexuals 1996 1568381204 This inspiring and supportive book is aimed at helping the estimated 10 million addicts and alcoholics in the gay, lesbian, and bisexual communities of the 90s who struggle to maintain long term recovery. First published in 1989, Accepting Ourselves was the first book to address the problems and needs of substance abusers in the homosexual community. Now, the fully revised and expanded edition, Accepting Ourselves and Others, examines the issue of recovery as it affects the homosexual and bisexual communities of the '90s, as well as their friends, family, and therapists. This book puts it all together in one place: how sexual identity issues affect compulsive and addictive behaviors and ways to recover from such destructive activity. 378 GLBT addictions
L, Edward How to Stay Away from Lust One Day at a Time: New Thought and Sex Addicts: A Bible Interpretation 1997 1890316008
1890316016
1890316024
1890316032
The author made an excellent beginning in Volume 1. This first volume, however, did not answer the question of whether or not people with problems of sexual addiction would benefit by joining a group of others who are also using the twelve steps toward healing in this area. This was answered with the publication of the subsequent volumes, in which he mentions his participation in Sexaholics Anonymous. ... there has been a felt need by many in the New Thought field to give renewed emphasis to the development of good character, and an elevation of moral and ethical standards. This new series not only discusses purity and lust as alternatives, with opposite results, but also in the broadest sense emphasizes the close correlation between character and consciousness. It would, indeed, be the heights of folly to consider character and consciousness as existing in isolation from each other. Author Edward L. writes profoundly, but simply, making it easy to understand and receive enlightenment. The series provides a spiritual awakening to anyone whose life is affected by compulsive sexual behavior and is searching for ways to deal with it. These books are highly recommended for all New Thought ministers, teachers, counselors, andpractitioners, and also for individuals who have sex problems and are seeking the way to overcome them. In addition, it has been found that addictions of every kind manifest a common pattern, whether the addictions involves alcohol, cocaine, gambling, or compulsive sexual activity. Thus, any person who is involved in a twelve-step program will benefit from using this series. four volume set   Meditations, Sex Addict
Laaser, Mark R The Secret Sin: Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction 1992 0310549116 This book approaches sex addiction and recovery from a Biblical perspective. Dr. Laaser traces its roots in families and in culture; shows how sex addiction can poison the lives of pastors and lay people alike; and describes a Twelve Step program for treatment and recovery. The book is enriched by Mark's personal observations as a clergyman familiar with recovery issues. 208 Sex Addiction and Rehabilitation (religious)
Laaser, Mark R (Machen, Eli; Smalley, Gary) Faithful and True: Sexual Integrity in a Fallen World 1996 031020836X
0805498192
This is the same book as the 1992 version titled "The Secret Sin." Most Christians are quick to link sexual integrity with holiness. Clean thoughts and actions are important to God and to us. Yet for many, maintaining a wholesome, biblical sexuality seems hopelessly beyond reach. Such people's deeply ingrained patterns of thought and behavior keep them stuck on a treadmill of sin, even as they long for a walk of purity. Faithful and True offers a path that leads beyond compulsive thoughts and behaviors toward sexual integrity and self-control. Sensitive to the shame of sexual addiction without minimizing its sinfulness, Dr. Mark Laaser: -- traces the roots of sexual addiction in families and in culture -- shows how sexual sin poisons the lives of pastors and laypeople alike -- provides a complete 12-step program for treatment and recovery from sexual addiction. You may be the spouse, pastor, family member, or friend of someone with a sexual addiction. Of you yourself may struggle with urges you've not been able to overcome. Regardless, hope and help are at hand. Faithful and True steers you over the rocky but navigable road to understanding, wholeness, and holiness. 208
240
Sex Addiction and Rehabilitation (religious)
Larkin, Joan If You Want What We Have: Sponsorship Meditations 1998 1568381921 Based on the developing relationship of a person in Twelve Step recovery and his or her sponsor during the course of a year, these beautifully written meditations speak eloquently to a full range of questions -- practical and spiritual, simple and complex -- that arise in early recovery. These down-to-earth exchanges mirror the daily give and take of conversations between two recovering people. Day by day, "If You Want What We Have" takes up the practical and spiritual questions that arise in early recovery. In its honesty, clarity, depth, and direction, this "conversation" will serve as a trusty companion and guide on the shared journey from fear and resistance to faith and commitment. 366 Meditations, 12-Step
Larsen, Earnie (Earnest) Stage II Relationships: Love Beyond Addiction 1987 0062548085 Offers clear and practical techniques for couples and families who have faced the issue of addiction and are now striving to bring health and vitality to their relationships. In this helpful book, Larsen offers a plethora of techniques designed for couples and families who have faced the issue of addiction and are now striving to make their relationships more vital and healthy. Although small, the book packs a wollup. Good reading for love addicts, new couples, couples who have been together for years, or even a single person looking to get into a healthy relationship. 128 Relationship Health
Lee, John H The Flying Boy Book II: The Journey Continues 1991 1558741801 While this book stands on its own and can be easily read without having read John's first national best-seller, The Flying Boy: Healing the Wounded Man, it does pick up where this emotionally moving book leaves off. This book is about the fears of intimacy, abandonment and commitment and how to overcome them. It also answers the questions thousands have asked, "What ever happened to Laurel?" "What is John's relationship with his father like after having confronted him?" "When is there going to be a book written for Flying Girls (women who can't commit)?" This book answers all those questions and more. It combines John's experience, strength and hope with insights gained from years of working with men's groups, Adult Children and his own work in 12-Step programs. It's also the first book that unites the men's movement (Flying Boy I is a staple of the movement) with the recovery movement. It will help anyone who reads it to identify an addictive relationship and see that adults can't be abandoned. 140 Relationship Addiction
Lee, John H The Flying Boy Book III: Stepping Into the Mystery: For Sons, Lovers, Mothers, and Wives 1997 0965443612 The Flying Boy III: Stepping Into the Mystery is the third volume of The Flying Boy and can be read either in context with the other volumes or it holds its own as a book of incredible insight into the relationships of men. This third book explores the coming home, the return to earth of the flying boy and his acknowledgement of certain fears of relationships. Coming back to earth also means returning to the mother, where relationships ultimately begin. Join John as he takes the reader into the mystery of relationships, not as a master, but as a perpetual student sharing his journey. This is truly a book that touches the heart of both men AND women! 143 Relationship Addiction
Lee, John H The Flying Boy: Healing the Wounded Man: Why Men Run From Relationships 1987
1989
1558740066
058510154X
This best-selling book is a record of one man's journey to find his "true masculinity" and his way out of co-dependent and addictive relationships. It's a book for all men and women who grew up in dysfunctional families and are now ready for some fresh insights into their past and their pain. The Flying Boy is a story about feelings -- losing them, finding them and finally expressing them. Here you will find people you know; will discover a great deal of your own anger, hurt and sadness; and will also discover a way out of the pain and see that it really is O.K. to express yourself without fear. The book is also about grieving, a very misunderstood process often confused with self-pity. The Flying Boy opens doors to understanding -- men will understand themselves and each other, and women will more deeply understand men, learn how to be with wounded men and still take care of themselves. 111 Relationship Addiction
Lee, John Hancock I Don't Want to be Alone: For Men and Women Who Want to Heal Addictive Relationships 1990 1558740651 John Lee is nationally recognized as a leader in the fields of codependency, adult children, and addiction recovery. This book is for men and women who want to heal addictive relationships. Intimate relationships -- hardly any are without flaws. But serious problems arise when a person continues in a relationship that is making him or her miserable. A co-dependent will endure almost anything to stay in a relationship, even at the expense of health and happiness. Learn from this book how you can free yourself to have happy, healthy, lasting relationships 133 Relationship Addiction, Loneliness
Lee, St. George T Light in the Darkness: A Guide to Recovery: A Physician Talks Openly about His Own Addiction to Sex 2000 0967988101 St. George T. Lee lived a double life. Most knew him as a respected cardiologist, church leader, and apparently devoted family man. But there was a darker side. He suffered from compulsive sexual behavior, resulting in numerous passes and affairs over a 20-year period. In 1996, after being reported to the hospital administration for making yet another pass at an employee, he entered a treatment program. He lost his hospital privileges and eventually his career. Light in the Darkness is his inspiring, personal, and candid account of recovery that shows the amazing effects of faith, perseverance, and love. His candid story offers hope and inspiration to others affected by addictive behaviors of any kind. Guide and dictionary both describe this educational and revealing biographical and resource book. Dr. Lee began as a well-schooled popular cardiologist, with typical family and community ties. His descent to paralyzing impairment with sexual addiction is the basis for this work. Physicians damaged finally bring themselves or are brought to help. This may take the form of medical society or licensure sponsored impaired physicians programs, or other professional programs. This book starts with a brief chronology of what happened in Dr. Lee's life. The rest of the book segments into alphabetical chapters to facilitate looking up the many terms used in addiction problems. Each discussion then details the meaning and use of the term with editorial comments appended. A good bibliography and appendix are affixed to the end and complement the rest of the text. Certainly reading this book helps us understand another psychological land mine. We can perhaps help others and ourselves with these proper tools. 192 Sex Addiction, Biography
Leonard, Linda Schierse The Wounded Woman: Healing the Father-Daughter Relationship 1982
1983
1985
1998
0804003971
0394721837
0877732450
1570624199
The success of Wounded Woman -- almost 250,000 copies sold -- proves the effectiveness of its approach. Linda Leonard believes a father wounded in his psychological development cannot often give his daughter the care and guidance she needs. Using examples from her own life and her work with clients, as well as dreams, fairy tales, myths, films, and literature, Leonard charts paths toward psychological transformation and a fruitful, caring relationship between men and women, fathers and daughters -- one that honors both the mutuality and the uniqueness of the sexes. 186
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Fathers and Daughters, Femininity
Lerner, Harriet Goldhor Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Paterns of Intimate Relationships 1985
1985
1997
0060154683
0060913568
006091565X
"Anger is a signal and one worth listening to," writes Dr. Harriet Lerner, in her renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions of readers. While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches women to identify the true sources of our anger and to use anger as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change. She shows women how to turn anger into a constructive force for reshaping their lives. 240
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  Anger, Interpersonal Relations
Lerner, Harriet Goldhor The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships 1989
1990
0060160675
006091646X
In The Dance of Intimacy, the bestselling author of The Dance of Anger outlines the steps to take so that good relationships can be strengthened and difficult ones can be healed. Taking a careful look at those relationships where intimacy is most challenged -- by distance, intensity, or pain -- she teaches us about the specific changes we can make to achieve a more solid sense of self and a more intimate connectedness with others. Combining clear advice with vivid case examples, Dr. Lerner offers us the most solid, helpful book on intimate relationships that both women and men may ever encounter. 255
272
  Intimacy, Interpersonal Relations, Change
Levin, Jerome David Clinton Syndrome: The President and the Self-Destructive Nature of Sexual Addiction 1998 076151628X Author Jerome Levin has written a dozen books dealing mostly with alcoholism and drug addiction and treatment. Dr. Levin is an expert on addictions and the psychological forces that fuel them. His professional knowledge, combined with a good deal of research on Clinton's life, make his "speculative" case compelling and convincing. Clinton's stormy childhood has been acknowledged, but Levin is the first to trace cause and effect, and to try to penetrate Clinton's psyche -- the place, of course, where the Lewinsky scandal sprang from. Levin pieces together past and present, and makes a compelling case for sexual addiction and unconscious trauma. Levin needs a writer, however, to craft his argument into a more convincing and fleshed out whole. A voyeuristic psychological profile of a political figure is a treacherous endeavor, especially considering the moral miasma that political scandals wade in. And Levin's conventional and informal prose do not do his subject, or his professional knowledge and experience, justice. But if you realize that Levin is a psychologist, and not a writer, you will be rewarded with a much needed and convincing portrait of our President as a psychological being. 258 Sex Addiction
Levine, Janice R; Markman, Howard (J); Gottman, John M Why Do Fools Fall in Love?: Experiencing the Magic, Mystery, and Meaning of Successful Relationships 2000 0787958670
0787953849
Relationship experts can tell us how to find a mate, save our marriage, or improve our sex life, but their advice is meaningless unless we can experience and master that underlying, magical, incredibly powerful emotion that binds us together no matter what. Thirty-two marriage and family experts set aside their professional personae to explain the wild and wonderful, irrational and passionate mystery of love. Written with simplicity and warmth, this book ultimately illuminates a deep and compassionate vision of what constitutes truly happy long-term relationships. Also included are pearls of wit and wisdom from celebrity couples. This book will be cherished by all couples (and aspiring couples) who want to understand and energize that transformative power of love. Experts and celebrities unravel the mysteries and secrets of passionate, long-lasting love. This book will be of significant interest to all whose work involves them in marriage counseling as well as to individuals dealing with problems in their own marriages. More than thirty essays by professionals present sensitive and realistic analyses of the joys and challenges of married life. 240 Relationship Health
Lloyd, Roseann; Fossum, Merle True Selves: Twelve-Step Recovery from Codependency 1991 0894867652
0062553356
These authors first describe and then seek to offer a solution for codependency. They believe that codependents have lost their true selves and have stopped living for themselves. They offer advice, based on the twelve step program, on how to regain the self and begin living for yourself rather than for others. This reassuring and comforting guide helps define the boundaries between self and others and promotes the self-love and the self-care that are crucial ro recovering from codependency. 129 Codependency
Love, Patricia Emotional Incest Syndrome: What to Do When a Parent's Love Rules Your Life 1991 055335275X Do these "endearments" sound familiar to you? "Of all my children, I expect the most of you."=[I've selected you to be the one to make my life worth living.] "You've never caused me a minute of trouble."=[Ignore your own needs, I can't handle them.] "You're the only one who truly understands me."=[I would be totally alone if it weren't for you.] If so, you may have been a "Chosen Child," seemingly the focus of loving and devoted parents, but in reality a child walking a psychological tightrope -- learning early on to deny your own needs in order to meet the emotional needs of a parent. Today, there is a name for this devastating and increasingly common form of child abuse: emotional incest. Here, Dr. Patricia Love offers adults real hope -- and help in overcoming the hurtful legacy of being a Chosen Child. Based on proven therapeutic techniques and using real-life case histories, her total program of recovery will help you: identify the telltale signs of emotional incest; confront your parents -- and your past -- with love and understanding; disentangle your life from theirs -- even if your parents are no longer alive; and create a positive relationship with your parents -- and your own children. Filled with hope and compassion, "The Emotional Incest Syndrome" is a life transforming guide to health and healing for all Chosen Children and the people who love the. 269 Family
Lubetkin, Barry; Oumano, Elena Bailing Out: The Sane Way to Get Out of a Doomed Relationship and Survive With Hope and Self-Respect [The Healthy Way to Get Out of a Bad Relationship and Survive] 1991
1993
0130569461
0671869019
This book gives you the tools which will lead you to ultimate acceptance and freedom... from your toxic relationship. The authors are candid that it takes cognitive-behavioral work to heal yourself, and that it takes more than overnight. They offer excellent advice about how to prevent repeating the tragedy of ill-chosen mates, helping you to understand a better way to love, to live, to breath, to be happy, and to recover your integrity, your physical health, and your emotional health. 226
240
Relationship Addiction
Lusterman, Don-David Infidelity: A Survival Guide 1998 1572240873 Don-David Lusterman, a psychologist practicing in Baldwin, New York, believes that couples who work hard can save their marriages following an affair: "People often find that once infidelity is discovered and its aftereffects are behind them, their relationship is stronger than before, and subsequent infidelity is unlikely." This isn't true only of married couples -- Lusterman points out that people in long-term, committed relationships, whether straight or gay, face the same devastating emotions and have to go through a similar rebuilding process if they want to remain together after one has strayed. Whether or not a troubled couple chooses to stay together, Lusterman says the best outcome is when both partners experience changes and new insights into their lives. He provides several case studies in which couples began to regain their trust through new communication, and instructs on the kind of feelings-expressing language that can help. (He also provides a section on finding a good therapist.) This book will help people on either side of an affair begin to understand what's going on, and help them find the resources they need to continue that quest. 196 Affairs
Maltz, Wendy The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse (Revised Edition - Quill Pub.) 1991
2001
0060166614
0060959649
Survivors of sexual abuse are encouraged to achieve loving and safe sexual lives once again by going through, step-by-step, a most challenging aspect of recovery. Based on Matz's clinical work, interviews, survey results, and workshops, this guide if filled with first-person accounts of survivors and includes groundbreaking exercises and techniques. 347
368
Sexual Abuse Victims
Maltz, Wendy; Holman, Beverly Incest and Sexuality: A Guide to Understanding and Healing 1986
1988
0669140856
066914083X
In this compassionate, accessible, and comprehensive book, Maltz takes survivors step-by-step through one of the most challenging aspects of their recovery from sexual abuse. Based on Maltz's clinical work, this book includes groundbreaking exercises and techniques for survivors to work on alone or with their partners. 166
192
Trauma
Marsh, Christina He Danced Alone 2001 0759627754 A compassionate exploration into the heart and mind of a sex/love addict. Humorous. Inspirational. Shocking. It is the definitive work for understanding sexual/romantically compulsive behavior. He Danced Alone is an expose into the heart and mind of the sexual/love addict. A true story, it confronts the misconceptions of sexual addiction, while compassionately exposing the reader to both the horror of the addict's life and the pain and confusion experienced by those caught in his web. This book discusses the progressive nature of sexual/love addiction; its devastating consequences to friends and family; and finally, a full, introspective battle to recover. Beginning with Jonathan at the age of 24, nearing the "beginning of the end", He Danced Alone lays the foundation for how Jonathan's life had become consumed with sexual thoughts and behaviors. It then returns to his youth, laying the foundation for his "secret life" -- apart from an otherwise "all-american boy" image. After progressing to the point of rape fantasies and a suicidal climax, Jonathan is forced to expose the roots of his abnormal behavior during a prolonged stay at a psychiatric facility. 140 Sex and Romance Addiction
Marsh, Jonathan When Twelve Steps Aren't Enough: A Self-Managed Recovery Workbook Jonathan Marsh's ground-breaking workbook provides a comprehensive look into sexual addiction and recovery that goes beyond the traditional Twelve Step and psychoanalysis philosophies and provides an excellent foundation for self-managing compulsive sexual and/or romantic behavior. The underlying theme is simple: addiction is a rather basic process involving an individual's ability to comfort themselves by manipulating the underlying chemical processes that manage emotion and comfort. Be that through sex, relationships, gambling, alcohol, food or whatever. When the pattern of addiction, or the use of compulsive behavior to regulate one's feelings has taken root in a person's life, these destructive patterns can be permanently eliminated by a series of exercises including self-awareness, personal values and a fundamental understanding of the addictive process. Jonathan Marsh, himself a "recovered sexual addict" for the past thirteen years, has written this book to work with his self-managed recovery program. It provides you with a step-by-step guide to help you not only overcome these destructive patterns, but to teach you to teach yourself how to replace those patterns with the healthy, satisfying life that you choose. The ultimate goal is not to get you to stop the behavior and become a lifelong "recovering addict," but to stop the patterns that led to the behavior, replace those patterns with the lifestyle of your choosing, and then for you to become you. The type of person you know yourself to be, with the type of values that you hold dear. [I can only find this book available at www.understandingsexualaddiction.org] Sex and Romance Addiction, Workbook
May, Gerald G Addiction and Grace: Love and Spirituality in the Healing of Addictions 1991 0060655372 Here is Gerald May's brilliant and now classic exploration of the psychology and physiology of addiction. It offers an inspiring and hope-filled vision for those who desire to explore the mystery of who and what they really are. May examines the "processes of attachment" that lead to addiction and describes the relationship between addiction and spiritual awareness. He also details the various addictions from which we can suffer, not only to substances like alcohol and drugs, but to work, sex, performance, responsibility, and intimacy. Drawing on his experience as a psychiatrist working with the chemically dependent, May emphasizes that addiction represents an attempt to assert complete control over our lives. Addiction and Grace is a compassionate and wise treatment of a topic of major concern in these most addictive of times, one that can provide a critical yet hopeful guide to a place of freedom based on contemplative spirituality. 208 Recovery (religious)
Mayer Ph.D., Eve R. Let's Stay Lovers in the New Millennium 2000 0967118735 Eve Mayer practices group, individual and couples therapy in Scottsdale, Arizona and specializes in relationship issues. In her book, she explains that a selfish partner can destroy a love relationship. Her knowledge of couple dynamics is impressive, and the book is very readable and soundly based in theory. 101 Relationship Recovery
McGraw, Phillip C Relationship Rescue: A Seven-Step Strategy for Reconnecting With Your Partner 2000 0786866314 Dr. Phil McGraw, whose first book, Life Strategies, was a number one New York Times national bestseller, now turns his expertise to the primary area of concern troubling most people: their relationships. In his tell-it-like-it-is style that already has had an impact on millions of viewers of The Oprah Winfrey Show, Dr. Phil blows the whistle on the rhetoric of traditional "couples therapy." Instead he tells you at the very beginning that no matter what state your relationship is in, not only are you responsible for it, you are responsible for rescuing it. McGraw explodes the ten most popular myths about good relationships and provides a series of fascinating exercises that allow for a step-by-step process for you to reconnect with your partner. This is a transformative book that not only will put you back on track with your partner, but you'll know that you are back on track with yourself. 254 Rebuilding Relationships
McGraw, Phillip C The Relationship Rescue Workbook 2000 0786886048 Ever since Relationship Rescue became an instant number one New York Times hardcover bestseller, Phil McGraws audiences have been asking for a workbook to help them apply his strategies for change to their relationships. Now, in The Relationship Rescue Workbook, Dr. Phil, Oprah's resident expert on human functioning, provides questions, exercises and self-tests that will enable couples in even the most troubled relationships to get their love lives back on track. And for those in solid relationships who would like to regain their spark, he reveals how to make that happen. He shows readers exactly how to pinpoint problems in their relationships, and how to make sure that the changes they enact will truly last. His straightforward, tell-it-like-it-is advice is made crystal clear in this easy-to-use workbook that is sure to prove immensely popular with his devoted national following. 224 Rebuilding Relationships
Means, Marsha Living With Your Husband's Secret Wars 1999 0800757106 This is a must read for every woman who has a husband struggling with sexual addictions. In these pages is a compassionate portrayal of these women, and she offers some how tos in dealing with their husbands and their private devastations. Any woman whose life has been shattered by her husbands secrets will find courage and strength in the pages of this helpful book. Consider it your instruction manual to putting the pieces of your life back together. It offers specific, proactive steps for the journey toward wholeness for women who have discovered their spouse is involved in sexual sin-whether it's lust, pornography, infidelity, or some other behavior. Learn how to find the support you need, hope and healing, grieve the losses of sexual betrayal and focus on your own spiritual growth, so you can begin the process of forgiveness and moving on -- whatever the outcome of your marriage. 221 Co-addiction
Means, Patrick A Men's Secret Wars 1996
1999
080071721X
0800757173
In this book, Patrick Means goes to the trenches, where battles with workaholism, substance abuse, sexual addiction, pornography, and extramarital affairs are fought. They are often reluctant to seek help, and find their battles difficult to win because of baggage from the past and pressures in the present. Believing the best defense is a good offense, he helps men recognize the "at risk" factors that precede the development of a secret life. Means candidly tells how he lost his own secret war and includes dramatic stories of other men who have fought similar battles. He provides tested strategies for defeating the habits and secrets that threaten men's private lives, including how to embrace the biblical paradox of finding strength in weakness, defend your marriage against outside attacks, effectively confront your dark side, and live in a more balanced way. 256
272
  Recovery (religious)
Mellody, Pia; Miller, Andrea W(ells); Miller, J Keith Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself The Power To Change the Way You Love: The Love Connection to Codependence 1992 0062506048 Offering clear, comforting advice on the best ways to develop healthy love relationships, Mellody describes the dynamics of a coaddicted relationship, and the stages of addiction -- from attraction and fantasy to denial and obsession. It sets out to describe the pattern of addictive relationships observed by the author over a period of many years working in the field (Mellody is a consultant at the internationally renowned Meadows treatment centre) and goes on to give concrete suggestions for breaking the cycle of love addiction. The two most commonly found participants in a co-addicted relationship are described as the Love Addict (usually, but not always, female) and the Avoidant Addict (usually, but not always, male). Due, generally, to childhood abandonment, Love Addicts are very needy, which appeals to the caretaker Avoidant Addict, who will probably have had the converse experience of being unhealthily enmeshed with a parent. As the Love Addict becomes more dependent on her partner, the Avoidant's fear of being overwhelmed and enmeshed is triggered, and he backs away, in turn triggering the Love Addict's deep fear of being abandoned. The withdrawal experienced by the Love Addict often sucks the Avoidant back in, as he responds to her evident distress with reactions of guilt or his own fear of abandonment, and the cycle begins anew. Mellody's central argument is that both Love Addicts and Avoidant Addicts have core codependency issues which must be addressed if they are to recover and learn to have healthy relationships. Her suggestions for taking care of oneself and developing firmer boundaries are very useful and easy to understand -- a practical recovery process based on Twelve-Step work, exercises, and journaling. 256 Relationship Addiction
Mellody, Pia; Miller, Andrea Wells Breaking Free: A Recovery Workbook for Facing Codependence 1989 0062505904 This should be a companion to Facing Codependence by the same author. In her pioneering Facing Codependence, Pia Mellody traced the origins of codependence back to childhood and a wide range of emotional, spiritual, intellectual, physical, and sexual abuses. Now in this innovative new workbook, she presents a step-by-step journal-keeping method for moving toward recovery from codependence. Based on such concepts as the "precious child" and the five core symptoms of codependence, along with the Twelve-Step process of recovery used by Codependents Anonymous, Breaking Free provides strategies and insights for attacking the fundamental problem in codependence -- the lack of dependence on self. In a three-part approach to recovery, Mellody first shows recovering codependents how to move beyond denial of their childhood history of abuse. She then offers techniques to identify concrete ways in which the symptoms of codependence operate in their lives. Finally, Mellody guides users through the process of identifying and recording specific instances of improvement in their lives as an aid to greater self-awareness and further recovery. 448 Workbook, Codependency
Mellody, Pia; Miller, Andrea Wells; Miller, J Keith Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes From, How It Sabotages Our Lives 1989 0062505890 Following the phenomena of Codependent No More (by Melody Beattie), here is a brilliant new guide to understanding the origins of codependence and the path to recovery by a nationally recognized authority on dependency and addiction. Some things said simply are more powerful thanks to their simplicity. This book provides a forceful, unflinching description of how people who are raised in a dysfunctional or abusive environment often sabotage and cripple their lives. There are four main sections to the book. The first section details what she sees as the core symptoms of codependency: difficulty experiencing appropriate levels of self-esteem, difficulty setting functional boundaries, difficulty owning and expressing one's own reality, difficulty taking care of one's adult needs and wants, and difficulty behaving moderately. The second section details how dysfunctional family can push a child (whom Mellody describes as inherently valuable, vulnerable, imperfect, dependent, and immature) into codependency. The third section describes the many kinds of abuse (most of which are not obviously traumatizing on first review) that can push an individual, particularly a child toward codependency. And the last section provides a very preliminary road map to healing codependency: the first step she argues is an awareness of one's codependent state, and second step is a desire to change. 222 Codependency
Milkman, Harvey B; Sunderwirth, Stanley G Craving For Ectasy: The Chemistry and Consciousness of Escape [1987/1989]: How our Passions Become Addictions and What We Can Do About Them [1998] 1987
1989
1998
0669123374
0669152811
0787941328
This is the classic in understanding the neurochemistry of addictions. Did you know that the brain can produce its own addictive "mind-altering" substances? Or that the "high" from sex or skydiving has a great deal in common with what heroin addicts feel when they shoot up -- and may be just as addictive? Or that many of us may be genetically susceptible to addiction? These are among the many surprises found within this fascinating and highly readable guide. In clear, everyday language, two scientific researchers show why addictive behavior goes far beyond the compulsive use of drugs, tobacco, and alcohol. They demystify the biology, chemistry, sociology and psychology of the universal desire for ecstasy, illustrating with vivid case examples the influences that lead to dependency. They also show what we can do to regain control of our lives, providing self-evaluation tests and a comprehensive guide for recognizing, treating, and preventing addiction. 222   Compulsive Behavior
Miller, Alice For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence 1983
1990
1990
0374157502
0374518599
0374522693
Alice Miller has written landmark books in the field of therapy and trauma. She is internationally acclaimed for her work on culture and violence. This should be required reading for therapists, and is a really important book for those who have been battered, whether as adults or children. Miller, a Swiss psychoanalyst, argues that children's characters are not formed by birth traumas, separation, or their infantile sexuality but by the humiliation and degradation children experience from parents. Robbed of their will, they split off the anger they are not allowed to feel and project it against others. An analysis of child-rearing literature illustrates how the "poisonous pedagogy" is created. The lives of a German addict/prostitute, of Adolf Hitler, and of a child murderer are used to illustrate how the anger is revisited on the self or others. The book was first published in Germany in1980 under the title "Am Anfang war Erziehung." 305
305
282
Trauma, Abuse
Miller, Dusty; Guidry, Laurie Addictions and Trauma Recovery: Healing the Body, Mind, and Spirit 2001 0393703681 A recovery model for use in conjunction with 12-step programs or on its own. Dusty Miller's treatment model for addiction and self-injury, outlined in the best-selling Women Who Hurt Themselves, has been expanded in this new work to include the physical and spiritual impact of trauma. This how-to manual introduces new ways of thinking about self-care, self-soothing, and self-expression. This book describes a recovery model for groups and individuals. Incorporating psycho-educational, process, and expressive activities, the model involves a 12-week program covering core problems with trauma and addiction. Chapters describe individual sessions and suggest specific techniques to use every week. They focus on issues like trauma re-enactment, emotional expression, dysregulated anger, cultivating courage, intimacy, community, and hope. Miller and Guidry are both clinical psychologists. It offers a fundamental framework for planning and implementing an individual or group 'Addiction and Trauma Recovery Integration Model' (ATRIUM). Introduces innovative ways of thinking about self-care, and self-expression, and builds a quintessential bridge between addiction and trauma. 240 Trauma, Abuse
Miller, J Keith A Hunger For Healing Workbook: A Companion to Hunger For Healing: The Twelve Steps as a Classic Model For Christian Spiritual Growth 1992 0060657219 A practical, exercise-filled companion to "A Hunger for Healing" that puts into practice the Christian principles of healing and growth. For many thousands of people, the Twelve Steps have become the spiritual discipline for a new decade, a way to turn to God and begin a pilgrimage toward wholeness as well as a journey out of addiction. Relating each of the Steps to biblical teaching, J. Keith Miller takes the reader inside the Steps, actually working through each one. Each section of this book begins with one of the Twelve Steps, followed by a biblical quote that touches upon the theme, a suggested reading in "A Hunger for Healing", and a concise explanation of the Step and how it relates to spiritual growth. Built on solid biblical principles, the exercises and inventories provided will promote introspection, reflection, and action -- a clear pathway out of compulsion and pain into a world of serenity and healthy interaction with God and others. Step by Step, this life-transforming program helps readers to: acknowledge their need for God's healing power; surrender to God's care; let God remove character defects; reconcile themselves with God and others; use prayer to enrich the life of the spirit; and heal broken lives and relationships. 160 12-Steps, Christianity, Workbook
Miller, J Keith A Hunger For Healing: The Twelve Steps as a Classic Model For Christian Spiritual Growth 1991
1992
0060657162
0060657677
Praised as "the best work that I know to forge the natural integration of Christian doctrine and practice (and the) Twelve-Step programs" (M. Scott Peck), here is Miller's highly praised guide. Writing with warmth and conviction, Miller shows readers a way out of compulsion and pain into a world of serenity and healthy interaction. The book goes through the steps in a very pedagogic way from a spiritual perspective covering problems related to all kinds of problems of addiction and sin. Problems you can have even after you recovered from your primary disease. In the end of every chapter and step Keith Miller gives you questions to work with. He also covers aspects of sponsorship and problems with drawing lines/boundaries towards others. In doing so he clearly talks from his own experiences as an recovered workaholic and sinner. 256
262
12-Steps, Christianity
Miller, J Keith (Bradshaw, John - foreword) Compelled To Control: Recovering Intimacy in Broken Relationships 1997 1558744614 This exciting book breaks new ground in identifying the major cause of relationship failure as the need to control -- in marriages and families, with friends and within organizations. Compelled to Control reflects Miller's sweeping knowledge as a thinker, a speakers and a writer. Going far beyond "how to control a controller," Miller speaks from the perspective of experience and personal change. "When a controller has the sense of life being out of control," he says, "he or she reacts with an even stronger need to 'get things under control'... usually with the negative result of alienating the people who matter the most." Miller tackles this deeply denied, seemingly universal phenomenon with compassion and offers a way out of the dilemma. He tells you to approach broken relationships in new ways, leaving behind destructive patterns of perfectionism and self-justification. Keith miller is one of those rare writers who can combine intellectual acuity with deeply felt insight born of his own struggle for authenticity. Compelled to Control is an impressive contribution to the literature of recovery and personal change. 250 Couple Recovery
Miller, Joy Addictive Relationships: Reclaiming Your Boundaries 1989 1558740031 Dedicated to the claiming of your own personal boundaries, this book deals with our addictive or destructive relationships not only centered around our spouse or lover, but also around our children, our friends or our parents. If we have lost ourselves along the way, we have probably given ourselves away. This book examines where we are, where we want to go and how to get there. We will move addictive loving styles to find the true love of ourselves and reclaim our selfhood. This is a positive step-by-step process for recovery using affirmations and exercises for inner growth. 108 Boundaries
Millman, Dan Way of the Peaceful Warrior: A Basically True Story [1980]: A Book That Changes Lives [1984/2000] 1980
1980
1984
2000
0312909519
0874771218
0915811006
0915811898
A recovery classic, written in novel form. It is one of the most helpful metaphors for developing balance and perspective. During his junior year at the University of California, Dan Millman first stumbled upon his mentor (nicknamed Socrates) at an all-night gas station. At the time, Millman hoped to become a world-champion gymnast. "To survive the lessons ahead, you're going to need far more energy than ever before," Socrates warned him that night. "You must cleanse your body of tension, free your mind of stagnant knowledge, and open your heart to the energy of true emotion." From there, the unpredictable Socrates proceeded to teach Millman the "way of the peaceful warrior." At first Socrates shattered every preconceived notion that Millman had about academics, athletics, and achievement. But eventually Millman stopped resisting the lessons, and began to try on a whole new ideology -- one that valued being conscious over being smart, and strength in spirit over strength in body. Although the character of the cigarette-smoking Socrates seems like a fictional, modern-day Merlin, Millman asserts that he is based on an actual person. Certain male readers especially appreciate the coming-of-age theme, the haunting love story with the elusive woman Joy, and the challenging of Western beliefs about masculine power and success. 210   Spiritual Life
Muller, Wayne Legacy of the Heart: The Spiritual Advantages of a Painful Childhood 1992
1993
0671761196
0671797840
A gentle, entirely new approach to uncovering a source of spiritual strength hidden in the scars of childhood. Wayne Muller brings together the teachings of many different religions and spiritual traditions in a healing program that will appeal to readers of "The Road Less Traveled" and "Homecoming." Contends that childhood pain can be the source of happiness and includes a twelve-step outline to help adult children of troubled families heal childhood wounds that are prohibiting happiness in adulthood. In this book the author outlines twelve distinct manifestations of childhood sorrow; lingering wounds that express themselves as points of tension between our emotional history and our spiritual unfolding. Each chapter begins by examining the shape of a particular childhood wound, and reveals how the scar from that wound affects our emotional and spiritual life. It includes teachings from Christian, Budhist, Hebrew, Sufi, Hindu, and Native American traditions that describe these same points of tensions as doorways of the spirit. 224 Meditations, Spiritual Exercises, Consolation
Nakken, Crain The Addictive Personality: [Understanding Compulsion in Our Lives]: Understanding the Addictive Process and Compulsive Behavior 1988
1996
0062554883
1568381298
Nakken shows how our understanding of addictive behavior and compulsivity is critical to our understanding of ourselves and our relationships with some of life's fundamentals -- food, drink, love, sex, and money. Nakken covers genetic factors tied to addiction, cultural influence on addictive behavior, the progressive nature of the disease, and steps to a successful recovery. Going beyond a former definition that limited addiction primarily to the realm of alcohol and other drugs, this book uncovers the common denominator of all addiction as it brings to light the emotional isolation, shame, and despair in which addicts live. Nakken examines how addictions begin and how they progress, as well as how our society often encourages addictive behavior. 128
130
  Multiple Addictions
Nelson, James Bruce Between Two Gardens: Reflections on Sexuality and Religious Experience 1983 0829806814 Theologian and ethicist James Nelson seeks to stimulate a further reexamination of human sexuality and the Christian experience. Traditionally, the relationship between religion and sexuality has reflected this one-dimensional question: what does faith say about human sexuality? Nelson, however, takes a different tack and asks more pertinently: what does sexuality say about faith -- theology, scripture, tradition, and the meaning of the gospel? With this more existential perpective in mind, he explores a wide range of sexual and medical issues. Nelson discusses: men's and women's liberation; sexuality in Jewish, Catholic, and Protestant interpretations; religious and moral questions of professionals working with homosexual counselees; singleness of the church; the family; and attitudes toward abortion. Reflecting on these topics, he writes out of a healthy conviction that the process of integrating human sexuality and the life of faith is an important journey. 208 Sex (religious)
Noland, Jane T; Williamson, P (editors) Other Voices, Other Scripts: Daily Readings for All Who Are Healing From Compulsive Sexual Behavior 1990 0896382265 390 Meditations
Norwood, Robin Daily Meditations for Women Who Love Too Much 1997 087477876X The best-selling author of Women Who Love Too Much offers an inspirational collection of meditations, one for each day of the year, that share a message of support, personal fulfillment, and self-esteem. Robin Norwood revolutionized the way we look at love, with a compassionate, intimate book offering a recovery program for women who love too much -- women who are attracted to troubled men, who neglect their own interests and friends, and who are unable to leave tormented relationships for fear of being "empty without him." Norwood now enhances the practical wisdom of that book with years' worth of deep reflection and study. The result is a series of daily meditations that promote sane loving and serene living no matter what is -- or isn't -- happening in your personal life. Illuminated by Richard Torregrossa's humorous yet sensitive pen-and-ink drawings, each page of this book stimulates awareness, offers guidance, and fosters inner growth. 384 Meditations, Relationship Addiction, Love
Norwood, Robin Letters from Women Who Love Too Much: A Closer Look at Relationship Addiction and Recovery 1987
1989
0671661566
0671661558
This book is very informative about relationships and reasons you are drawn to the same kind of person you have spent so much time trying to recreate into the likness you need . 352 Relationship Addiction, Love
Norwood, Robin Women Who Love Too Much: When You Keep Wishing and Hoping He'll Change 1985
1991
0874773555
0671733419
Why do so many women become obsessed with the wrong men -- men who are emotionally unavailable, abusive, addicted to work, alcohol, or other women, men who cannot love them back? Robin Norwood helps these women recognize, understand and change the way they love. Through a series of intimate, revealing case histories, she offers women a way out that works. The book explains how we actually get addicted to pain and chaos, and why we choose the types of men we do, and why we're terrified to lose even a disastrous relationship. It also looks at how we hide the truth from ourselves and why. If you fit the description of a woman whose childhood was shredded by the pain of a highly dysfunctional family, and now you keep landing in one unhealthy relationship after another with men, this book will definitely help you. As Robin Norwood so beautifully points out, with this type of love addiction, your future is sure to be painful no matter what. But it can either be the temporary pain associated with dealing with your problems and your subsequent recovery, or it can be the same kind of pain you've got now, magnified over years and years. Identifying your problem is the first step in solving it. This book will help you do that. 276
308
Relationship Addiction, Love
Nouwen, Henri J M Reaching Out: The Three Movements of the Spiritual Life 1985 0385236824 With clarity and deep spiritual insight, the author of The Return of the Prodigal Son offers a perceptive, inspirational three-step plan for living a spiritual life and achieving union with God in this religious bestseller. 165 Spiritual Life
Nouwen, Henri J M The Return of the Prodigal Son: A Story of Homecoming 1992
1994
1995
0385418671
0385473079
0826408702
A meditation on the parable of the prodigal son's return -- a powerful drama of fatherhood, filial duty, rivalry, and anger between brothers. (The 1992 book was titled "The Return of the Prodigal Son: A Meditation on Fathers, Brothers, and Sons." This book is a spiritual adventure story. A chance encounter with a poster depicting a detail of Rembrandt's The Return of the Prodigal Son set in motion a chain of events that enabled Nouwen to redefine and claim his vocation late in his life. In this book, which interweaves elements of art history, memoir, Midrash, and self-help, Nouwen brings the parable to life with empathic analyses of each character. Nouwen's absorption in the story (and the painting) is so complete that the father's challenge to love the son, and the son's challenge to receive that love, become Nouwen's own. And Nouwen's writing is so clear and his tone is so appealingly frank and humble that readers--no matter how far from home -- will find hope for themselves in the prodigal peace Nouwen ultimately achieves. 176
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  Spiritual Life
O'Neil, Mike Power To Choose: Twelve Steps To Wholeness 1991 0963345400 Mike O'niel's book/workbook is a thorough approach to "working the steps." He guides the reader through a series of questions that, if answered honestly, reveal a true picture of one's issues, and then through more questions and responses, allow for healing. Obviously written by one who has wrestled with adiction, the text pulls no punches, but is insightful and affords many answers for those who have lost their "power to choose." Mike O'Neil combines the collective wisdom of Alcoholics Anonymous with the reality of Jesus Christ as the power who has the power in bringing you this street savvy, often humorous workbook. It is like having your personal sponsor (mentor) to help you gain peace with God, peace with self, and peace with others. 207 12-Steps (religious)
O'Neil, Mike; Newbold (Jr.), Charles E Boundary Power: How I Treat You, How I Let You Treat Me, How I Treat Myself 1995 0963345427 You can open a whole new way of successfully dealing with life's challenges by answering the questions and acting on the information that you learn in each chapter of "Boundayr Power." You can take charge of your life, strengthen your character, expand your freedom, and improve your marriage and other personal relationships by learning how to set personal boundaries in your life. The book includes: clear definitions of boundaries as they relate to you relationally, spiritually, physically, sexually, and emotionally; where you learn boundaries, the different kinds of boundaries, and the types of people with boundary problems; key questions to help you discover your own boundary problems; exercises that will help you resolve the losses associated with abuses; and excercises that help you to set clear, healthy boundaries in all your relationships. 181 Interpersona Relations, Boundaries (religious)
Peabody, Susan Addicted to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships 1989
1994
0890872945
0890877157
Obsession, abusive relationships, fear of being alone, unrequited love... these can combine to turn our natural need for love into a nightmare of dependency. Exposes many forms love addiction may take (fatal attraction vs. Casanova behavior, for example), then outlines the warning signs of addiction and provides a step-by-step recovery program for love addicts desiring happy, healthy relationships. Susan Peabody, herself a recovering love addict, has helped thousands to recover from this life-threatening condition through workshops and her first edition of 'Addiction to Love.' 116
200
Codependency
Peck, M[organ] Scott Further Along the Road Less Traveled: The Unending Journey Toward Spiritual Growth 1993
1997
1994
1994
1997
0671781596
0684850168
0802726828
0671892886
068484723X
In the 15 years since The Road Less Traveled was first published, M. Scott Peck has addressed audiences around the world. Their questions -- and Peck's own self-questioning -- were the seeds of this book. Focusing his attention on urgent matters of personal and spiritual growth, Peck offers provocative insights into blame and forgiveness, self-love versus self-esteem, the mystery of death, the illusion of romantic love, and more. Megawriter Peck, whose The Road Less Traveled continues as a smash bestseller more than a decade after publication, weighs in with additional down-to-earth counsel on psychological and religious matters, based this time on his talks and lectures. Peck's orientation is specifically Christian now, a result of a conversion and baptism that took place after Road appeared. Here, he addresses three stages of personal development: growing up; knowing yourself; and "in search of a personal God" -- explaining that all three entail the recognition that everything that happens to us has been designed for our spiritual growth. This process of maturation brings with it classic psychospiritual issues -- such as the casting of blame, the meaning of death, and the mystery of existence. Peck examines each with his trademark blend of friendly chat, tough advice, first-person experience (often drawn from his psychiatric practice), and literary citations. Chapters hop unexpectedly from one subject to another (presumably reflecting the various lectures): addiction, which he sees as a yearning for paradise; the New Age, castigated for promoting "spiritual confusion" and ignoring the problem of evil; the stages of spiritual growth, from "chaotic/antisocial" to "mystical/communal;" Christian heresies; the danger of cults (Peck provides useful guidelines for recognizing fringe sects); and so on. The bottom line is our relation to God: Life's meaning -- which Peck urges the psychiatric profession to take into account -- lies in the growth of the soul. This is what Peck's zillions of fans have been waiting for, more sage Road talk from the master. 256
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  Self-Actualization, Interpersonal Relations, Spiritual Life
Peck, M[organ] Scott People of the Lie: The Hope for Healing Human Evil 1983
1997
0671454927
0684848597
So compelling in its exploration of the human psyche, it's as hard to put down as a thriller... such a force of energy, intensity, and straightforwarness. Scott Peck is a psychiatrist turned author and lecturer. His name is a household word with the self-help crowd. In People of the Lie, Peck takes on the topic of evil. The"volume" cited is not an abridgment but a group of case studies from the first chapters of the book, along with commentary. The presentations are consistently well done. Peck reads with a soft, yet strong voice that is both self-assured and reassuring. In the first of a three-volume series, the psychiatrist uses case studies to reveal how evil exists in human behavior and explains how evil individuals can wreak havoc on the lives of people around them. Includes bibliographical references. 269   Psychology, Religion
Peck, M[organ] Scott The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth 1978
1978
1986
1995
1997
2002
0671250671
0671240862
0802724981
1568491581
0684847248
0743238257
By melding love, science, and religion into a primer on personal growth, M. Scott Peck launched his highly successful writing and lecturing career with this book. Even to this day, Peck remains at the forefront of spiritual psychology as a result of The Road Less Traveled. In the era of I'm OK, You're OK, Peck was courageous enough to suggest that "life is difficult" and personal growth is a "complex, arduous and lifelong task." His willingness to expose his own life stories as well as to share the intimate stories of his anonymous therapy clients creates a compelling and heartfelt narrative. Confronting and solving problems is a painful process, which most of us attempt to avoid. Drawing heavily upon his own professional experience, Dr. M. Scott Peck, a practicing psychiatrist, suggests ways in which confronting and resolving our problems can enable us to reach a higher level of self-understanding 316
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  Self-Actualization, Interpersonal Relations, Love, Spirituality
Peele, Stanton; Brodsky, Archie Love and Addiction 1975
thru
1995
0800850416
0451127455
0451134478
0451148606
0451155386
0800850416
[The preface, introduction, and first four of eleven chapters of this book are online at http://www.peele.net/lib/laa.html] Peele's "Love and Addiction" is concise, eye-opening and, in light of how the problems he documents in American society have only been geometrically exacerbated in the twenty-five years since it was published, a disturbing self-help book. It effectively removes the veil covering the sad connection between diametrically opposed (and mutually ineffective) views on politics, religion, sex and sexual freedoms, romance, family, marriage, relationships, crimes of all kinds and the spectre/epidemic of drug addiction in the US -- as well as the international history of it all. Many have said with wisdom that we are all joined together in one unified life, like threads in the fabric of society, and until we are all free, no one or group of us truly are. "Love and Addiction" proves such poetic wisdom scientifically for the western mind, and its increasingly growing more fragile soul. Dr. Peele begins to show us the paradox of American society that is crippling us: how we are being psychologically crushed under the weight of our own technological innovations and tremendous freedoms, and how that affects every single one of us, in all of our relationships, with everyone and everything. 284 Relationship Addiction, Love, Interpersonal Relations
Perkins, Bill When Good Men Are Tempted 1997 0310215668 This book from a pastor associated with Promise Keepers will help men understand the power of sexual temptations and show them strategies for overcoming them. Bill Perkins details a plan for sexual integrity. He shows men how to achieve a purity that will preserve the sanctity of their marriages, the security of their families, the vitality of their walks with God, and the strength of their relationships with others. The author is straightforward and offers practical suggestions. Instead of talking in a clinical voice, he relates as someone on the journey himself. The first chapter, "Why Naked Women Look So Good," is an insightful explanation of the attraction between men and women. This Christian author had the courage to not address the subject of masturbation with a "right" or "wrong" approach, but instead provides biblical guidelines to govern all of a man's sexual behavior -- including masturbation. 208 Sexual Sin (religious)
Peterson, Sylvia Ogden From Love that Hurts to Love that's Real: A Recovery Workbook 1989
1990
1991
0942421302
0133330486
0924721103
298
320
303
Workbook, Relationship Addiction
Pfeiffer, Richard H Creating Real Relationships: Overcoming the Power of Difference and Shame 2000 1893505138 Can two people develop a relationship that will support, encourage, and nurture their real self? Can the hope of being understood, known, and truly accepted become a reality? Can a real relationship heal the wounds and emotional deficits received in early life? The search for meaning is the journey of expressing one's real self. Pfeiffer describes how two partners can seek to develop a relationship in which both find support for the expression of their real self. Partners who make a real relationship work have certain skills. They know and practice core interpersonal skills, which allows them to form a relationship that can endure, deepen, and grow. One of the unigque features of this work is its focus on the dynamics of difference and shame underlying what goes wrong -- or what can go very right -- with relationships. They dynamics of difference and shame have the power to set up the development of a false self. The false self defensively refuses to assert the real self. Overcoming the power of these dynamics is the source of transforming unhealthy wounded relationships and individuals into healthy one. [author website - http://www.growthgroups.com] 212 Relationship Growth, Shame
Picucci, Michael The Journey Toward Complete Recovery: Reclaiming Your Emotional, Spiritual and Sexual Wholeness 1998 1556432860 Written with warmth, honesty, and compassion, "The Journey Toward Complete Recovery" charts a new path toward spiritual growth and renewal. Picking up where the AA Big Book left off, Picucci addresses the personal struggle recovering people so often express: "I'm doing the best I can. Why do I feel so empty and limited? Why do I still feel a lack of purpose and meaning in life?" The offering in this book is not solely for addicts, ex-addicts, or those who identify themselves as survivors of childhood trauma. It demonstrates a significant healing approach for every person seeking a richer life. Picucci indeed takes the reader on a courageous "journey" from addiction to wholeness, from isolation to community, from shame to love. The approach is fresh, and the author's deep commitment to healing comes alive on every page. 272 Compulsive Behavior, Self-Actualization
Pittman, Frank Private Lies: Infidelity and Betrayal of Intimacy 1989
1990
073510025X
0393307077
Infidelity is the most common major crisis of marriage. In this wise book, a psychiatrist and family therapist discusses four kinds of infidelity, why they happen, and what they mean. This wise book defuses myths about infidelity and suggests how to make a marriage work. "It's not so much the sex as the secrecy that causes the crisis," Dr. Pittman says. "If you wonder whether certain behavior constitutes infidelity, I recommend you ask your spouse." One of the better books on recovering from the betrayal of an extramarital affair, this book does not blame the spouse who was betrayed but makes them feel good about themself. It makes the unfaithful partner examine their reasons for straying, exploring the whys and wherefores about infidelity and presenting advice for both the unfaithful and the wounded partner. 309
295
  Affairs
Powell, John (Joseph) Why Am I Afraid To Love?: Overcoming Rejection and Indifference 1976
thru
1990
0006278485
0006240038
0006281095
091359203X
0883473224
Tradition has it that God's second commandment is that we should love one another. Why is it so hard? The capacity to love is in everyone. Yet so often it remains trapped and waiting to be released. In John Powell's best-selling Why Am I Afraid to Love, he carefully and sensitively confronts the barriers that restrain. He looks at the fear of rejection, the motives for love, how to truly understand the inner self and what true love looks like. He then considers the true test of love: can self be forgotten in loving others? Based on the original best-selling edition, this book has been completely re-designed. A fitting companion to "Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am?" it is one of the most original and popular self help books on the market. It sits comfortably alongside other classics like "I'm OK, You're OK." This book sold over 100,000 copies in its original edition and over 15 million copies (in 22 languages) to date. 72
120
Relationship Health
Renshaw, Domeena C; Brick, Pam Seven Weeks to Better Sex: How to Dramatically Improve Your Sex Life With a Step-By-Step Program You Can Follow At Home 1995
1996
1997
0679435468
0440507529
0517192896
The founder and director of the Loyola Sex Therapy Clinic shares the seven-week program that has helped thousands heal both their sex lives and relationships. Dr. Renshaw addresses the causes of sex problems, then gives readers the frank "sex education you never had." She also outlines the six most common sexual problems. The numerous questionnaires and exercises are designed to help couples overcome sexual problems, understand their attitudes about sex, intimacy, body image, and communication, and help provide the building blocks for increasing confidence and heightening enjoyment. 280
304
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Sexual Health
Roberts, Diane For Women Only Leaders Manual: The Betrayed Heart (Workbook) Leaders manual used in conjunction with the "For Women Only: The Betrayed Heart" healing groups. Sex and Relationship Addiction, Spiritual Healing
Roberts, Diane For Women Only: Accept No Substitutes: The Journey to Healthy Love and Sexuality 1995 1879619121 87 Sex and Relationship Addiction, Spiritual Healing
Roberts, Diane For Women Only: The Betrayed Heart (Workbook) A manual for women who are in relationship with someone battling sexual addiction. This book deals with the betrayal from a female perspective. Sex and Relationship Addiction, Spiritual Healing
Roberts, Ted For Men Only: The Courageous Fight for Healthy Sexuality 1993 1879619091 132 Sex Addiction (religious)
Roberts, Ted Pure Desire Workbook A companion piece to Pure Desire. This workbook will promote discussion, accountability, transparency and, ultimately, healing within the small group environment. Sex Addiction (religious)
Roberts, Ted; Hayford, Jack W Pure Desire: Helping People Break Free from Sexual Struggles 1999 0830724915
0830723358
Discover a place of hope, a place of healing. The church pastor who constantly fights a battle with Internet pornography. The teenager caught in a cycle of masturbation he can't seem to break. The lady in the choir who fantasizes about sexual interludes with men other than her husband. These are people in your church who have repented innumerable times and given their lives to Christ, yet they can't seem to win the battle against sexual sin. But what can you do? What do you say? How can you help them? Pastor Ted Roberts knows what it's like. Since overcoming his own addiction to pornography, he has spoken to thousands of people about similar problems, and he has reached an inescapable conclusion: "Hell is using sexual bondage to tear the Church apart!" But now you can do more than just preach against it. You can overcome this onslaught of hell and turn your church into a place of real hope and healing! Tackle the difficult issues of sexual addiction and pornography with confidence, clarity and with biblical perspective. Take the lead in this spiritual battle. In Pure Desire, Roberts provides a biblical answer to overcoming sexual sin and addiction. He offers a lifeline to those struggling with sexual bondage, and He shows how you can establish a sexual addiction recovery ministry at your church. 300 Sex Addiction (religious)
Rogers, Henry J; Miller, Norm The Silent War: Ministering to Those Trapped in Deception of Pornography 2000 0892214910 An upclose and personal attack on an industry that is crippling many individuals and families, from the men addicted to pornography to the women trapped in the heartless prison of lust. Pornography is a very sensitive and real issue. Here the author illustrates the devasting effects it has on people's lives financially, spiritually and physically. Includes the authors personal testimony of the struggle and victory against pornography and interviews with women who had managed to find another life outside the industry, as well as some still trapped. Offers suggestions for men to resist getting caught up in a deceptive world of smoke and mirrors and exposes the consequences of our lust. Illustrated with stories from actual addicts, the book will help anyone who wants to escape or avoid pornography. 240 Pornography Addiction
Rossetti, Stephen J. A Tragic Grace: The Catholic Church and Child Sexual Abuse 1996 0814624340 This is the new book by Stephen Rossetti that examines what happens when children are abused by Catholic clergy. Rosetti is the executive director of St. Luke's Institute which is one of the primary treatment facilities for Catholic clergy in America. His book clearly documents the damage to the victim, the parish, the church and the perpetrator. He does not avoid the hard questions. Rather, he pinpoints what church leadership needs to face. For Catholics and all those interested in sexual misconduct by clergy, this is an important book. 136 Sex and Religion
Ruben, Douglas H Over-Sexed and Under-Loved: A Recovery Guide to Sex Addiction 2000 0595091377 Addictions specialist Dr. Ruben explodes myths of romantic love and exposes sex for what it really is -- a power hungry craving on everyone's mind. The book graphically reveals secrets of sex addicts and nonsex addictions. It explicitly tells why people want sex, how they get sex, and where they get sex. Rapid cures are given for curiosity seekers turned addicts. Easy-to-apply steps convert sex addicts into sex lovers in days, not months. 128 Sex Addiction
Ryan, Michael Secret Life: An Autobiography 1995
1996
1997
0679407758
0679767762
0517193582
At the age of five, Michael Ryan was molested by a neighbor. Nearly 40 years later, he found himself methodically preparing to seduce a girl who was barely more than a child. As Ryan describes his free fall into sexual obsession, he creates an autobiography that is at once harrowing and redemptive, heartbreaking and profoundly moral. Michael Ryan came of age in the fifties and sixties-a seemingly idyllic period for him of Little League baseball, Boy Scout overnight hikes, ...when as a five-year-old, Ryan was molestated by a neighbor. It continued as he contended with his father's alcoholism, and as he himself started down the road of sexual obsession. Told without self-pity or blame, with humor and wit, sensational but never sensationalistic, Secret Life is a memoir of redemptive power and grace. 368   Biography, Adult Child Sexual Abuse Victim
Schaef, Anne Wilson Co-Dependence: Misunderstood -- Mistreated 1985
thru
1992
0062507699
0866834869
The explosive bestseller that revolutionized our understanding of the addictive process. With a new introduction addressing the backlash to the co-dependency movement. 128 Codependency
Schaef, Anne Wilson Escape from Intimacy: The Pseudo-Relationship Addictions: Untangling the "Love" Addictions, Sex, Romance, Relationships 1989
1990
0062548603
0062548735
New York Times bestselling author Anne Wilson Schaef examines the intriguing problem of relationship addiction in the first book to expose and unravel our addictions to sex, love, and romance. Discusses sexual, romance and relationship addictions as seperate addictions and shows how each is related -- how they interact and support each other; explores how each functions as an attempt to escape intimacy; discusses the concept of co-dependent and co-sex addict, how addictive relationships are formed, healthy intimacy and the process of recovery from each of these addictions. 165
176
Relationship Addiction, Love, Intimacy
Schaeffer, Brenda Is it Love or is it Addiction?: Falling Into Healthy Love 1987
1987
1995
1997
0062554719
0894864130
1567310710
1568381409
This practical, best-selling guide to making relationships work explores the essential elements of love addiction: how to identify it and how and why people fall into it. Most important, psychotherapist Brenda Schaeffer offers a seven-step plan for breaking free of the unhealthy or addictive patterns that keep people from healthy, mature and fulfilling love. This book helps readers understand love addiction and to sort out the unhealthy, addictive elements in their romantic relationship. Brenda presents a solid theory of love addiction and healthy love, with practical examples to illustrate her concepts. Relationships that continue despite pain, emotional chaos, and disruptive impulsivity are addictive, says Brenda Schaeffer, a psychotherapist who knows her stuff and provides an excellent primer on the subject of love and love addiction. Especially if there is past loss or trauma, the resulting pain can make us uncontrollably attached to anyone who soothes that pain, even when this creates many other problems. Healthy love helps us expand ourselves and learn higher growth processes; the addictive attachment only distracts, stagnates, and frustrates personal development. The book is articulate and insightful, but very comprehensible, having helped many people find their way from the fear and distrust in poor relationships to the fulfillment in meaningful ones. 156
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  Relationship Addiction, Love
Schaeffer, Brenda Love Addiction: Help Yourself Out 1986 0894863835 Four pamphlets about healthy relationships (Power Plays, Signs Of Addictive Love, Love Addiction: Help Yourself Out and Signs of Healthy Love) outline characteristics of healthy love, love addiction and power struggles. Each one provides us with exercises and practical information to apply the principles of recovery to building loving, strong relationships. 36 Love Addiction
Schaeffer, Brenda Love's Way: The Union of Body, Ego and Spirit 2001 1568386230 Love's Way is by best selling author Brenda Schaeffer, who is also a psychotherapist in the treatment of love and sex addiction. As a child, Schaeffer experienced love as "the big something": an energy coursing through her body that started from the heart and filled it. Conversely, hurtful words could take away the "big something," leaving her heart empty and aching. That childlike purity and direct connection to the heart is often what's missing from love today. With wisdom and insight, Schaeffer is the navigtor who guides us back on course. 250 Love Addiction
Schaeffer, Brenda Loving Me, Loving You: Balancing Love and Power in a Codependent World 1991
1991
1999
1999
0894867474
0062553402
058531196X
0894867474
"When love is without power, we take care of others at our own emotional expense. When power is without love, we abuse, hurt, and injure others -- ultimately at our own expense." As Brenda Schaeffer picks up where her popular book "Is It Love or Is It Addiction?" leaves off, she offers us a basic guide to creating more loving relationships. Schaeffer describes her theory of the three internal "lovers" we each possess: the addictive lover, the healthy lover, and the spiritual lover. As this book's explanations and activities help us live from spiritual instead of earthly perspectives, we discover how to balance love and power in our relationships. As we follow the "path of the heart," we are called upon to transform our lives and our environment. Schaeffer encourages each of us to carry what we've learned from our personal transformations out into the world. Filled with explanations and activities, Loving Me, Loving You leads us to a clearer understanding of love, power, relationships, and spirituality. 232
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168
Relationship Addiction, Codependency
Schaeffer, Brenda Power Plays 1986 0894863738 Four pamphlets about healthy relationships (Power Plays, Signs Of Addictive Love, Love Addiction: Help Yourself Out and Signs of Healthy Love) outline characteristics of healthy love, love addiction and power struggles. Each one provides us with exercises and practical information to apply the principles of recovery to building loving, strong relationships. 24 Codependency
Schaeffer, Brenda Signs of Addictive Love 1986 0894863827 Four pamphlets about healthy relationships (Power Plays, Signs Of Addictive Love, Love Addiction: Help Yourself Out and Signs of Healthy Love) outline characteristics of healthy love, love addiction and power struggles. Each one provides us with exercises and practical information to apply the principles of recovery to building loving, strong relationships. 32 Love Addiction
Schaeffer, Brenda Signs of Healthy Love 1986 0894863746 Four pamphlets about healthy relationships (Power Plays, Signs Of Addictive Love, Love Addiction: Help Yourself Out and Signs of Healthy Love) outline characteristics of healthy love, love addiction and power struggles. Each one provides us with exercises and practical information to apply the principles of recovery to building loving, strong relationships. 24 Love Addiction
Schaumburg, Harry W False Intimacy: Understanding the Struggle of Sexual Addiction 1992
1997
0891097112
1576830284
More people than we know battle against compelling sexual desires. Dr. Schaumburg thinks through the realities of the battle and offers a biblical perspective with wisdom, clarity, and compassion. He goes far deeper than the surface symptoms to expose core issues of this common problem. TABLE OF CONTENTS: Chapter 1: What Is Sexual Addiction? Chapter 2: Sexually Addictive Behaviors Chapter 3: What Causes Sexual Addiction? Chapter 4: Hope for Those Who Are Sexually Addicted Chapter 5: Responding to Your Sexually Addicted Spouse Chapter 6: The Recovering Marriage Chapter 7: Women and False Intimacy Chapter 8: Preventing Sexual Addiction in Your Children Chapter 9: Sexual Addiction in the Church Chapter 10: The Church as a Healing Community Chapter 11: Healing for Christian Leaders Appendix A: Indicators of Childhood Sexual Abuse Appendix B: Ministry Resources 205
245

Sex Addiction, Treatment (religious)
Schnarch, David M(orris) Passionate Marriage: Love, Sex, and Intimacy in Emotionally Committed Relationships 1997
1998
0393040216
0805058265
People joke that the start of a couple's marriage means the end of their sex life. David Schnarch, a sex therapist, uses epiphany-laden conversations taken directly from his own marriage and the married couples he sees in practice to help readers defy the myth that marriages are necessarily passionless, and instead prove that the longer a couple has been together, the higher the fireworks can fly. It's especially aimed at older couples who are self-actualized and therefore better able to handle intimacy than younger partners. "People have difficulty with intimacy because they're supposed to," he says, and goes on in this inspiring book to combine elements of marriage therapy and sex therapy to bring plenty of practical, fresh ideas to the crowd of mostly vapid relationship books. (Note that despite its title, it's for any emotionally committed couple, not just married folks.) Schnarch says that a man is more likely to let a relationship suffer in order to hold on to his sense of self, while a woman is more apt to let her identity suffer to help strengthen it. Schnarch gives explicit tips on how to alter this pattern, an essential step he calls "differentiation." He also explains why compromise isn't always the best route to take when conflicts arise. The couples profiled here deal with the usual suspects: uneven sexual desire and initiation, battles about oral sex, self-image problems, the "boondoggle" of trust (both of one's self and one's partner), and the specter of divorce. Instead of focusing on each client's weaknesses, Schnarch teaches how to find inner strength and resilience that can be used to reaffirm a relationship and reignite sex. 452
408
  Rebuilding Relationships
Schneider, Jennifer P Back from Betrayal: Recovering from his Affairs 1988
1989
0062554808
0894864882
Dr. Schneider's pioneering work is the first written for women whose husbands keep getting involved in affairs. Based on interviews and her own experience, she addresses the anguish and helplessness which codependents feel daily. In clear, compassionate, and informed writing she describes the nature of sexual coaddiction, helps coaddicts understand their own disease and their denial and isolation and outlines a path to recovery. 243
256
  Compulsive Behavior, Codependency, Adultery
Schneider, Jennifer P; Schneider, Burt Rebuilding Trust: For Couples Committed to Recovery 1989 0894865811 62 Sex Addiction, Codependency, Interpersonal Relations
Schneider, Jennifer P; Schneider, Burt Sex, Lies and Forgiveness: Couples Speaking Out on Healing from Sexual Addiction 1991
1991
1999
0062553437
0894867342
0967201500
Based on interviews with about 100 couples, the authors describe how to rebuild trust, forgive past hurts, improve communication, and address the sexual problems which recovering couples often face. Very practical, it includes hundreds of comments from sex addicts and coaddicts on what worked for them in enhancing their relationship. This book is very 12-step oriented, and takes no position regarding spirituality nor religion. 352
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312
Sex and Relationship Addiction, Marriage
Schneider, Jennifer P; Weiss, Robert Cybersex Exposed: Simple Fantasy or Obsession? 2001 1568386192 A timely and telling look at the powerfully addictive mix of Internet use, sexuality, and romantic fantasy, Cybersex Exposed both defines and addresses this emerging problem. Jennifer Schneider and Robert Weiss bring years of professional expertise in treating sexual addiction to their careful consideration of the emerging and complicated problem of online sexual addiction. The authors explain how Internet anonymity and accessibility can lead to addictive sexual behavior resulting in broken relationships, isolation, and money troubles. Informative and instructive, Cybersex Exposed provides a thorough description of the nature and scope of Internet sex addiction, along with stories of and strategies for recovery. Key features and benefits: -Offers statistical and descriptive information on cybersex. -Provides a "screening test" to help readers evaluate their own behavior. -Examines the negative consequences of Internet sex addiction on health, career, intimacy, and family relationships. -Discusses the negative impact of cybersex addiction on spouses, and describes how to confront spouses and obtain help. -Presents stories of recovery for cybersex users and their partners. 250 Sex Addiction, Computer Sex
Schneider, Jennifer; Corley, Debra Disclosing Secrets When, to Whom, and How Much to Reveal: A Gentle Path for Disclosing Sensitive Addiction Secrets 2002 1929866046 "We are only as sick as the secrets we keep." This central tenet of recovery from addiction celebrates the liberating, healing experience of disclosure. But the actual process of revealing sensitive secrets related to addiction can be difficult, even excruciating. With a straightforward, step-by-step approach, Jennifer Schneider and Debra Corley help readers discern the type of information that is advisable to share as well as develop a plan for constructive disclosure. Topics include: what, when, and how to tell, who to involve, what (if anything) to tell children, what information to share at work, church, and in the community. Disclosing Secrets serves as a guidebook for healing as well, offering reassurance that relationships can be repaired and renewed after disclosure. 250 Codependence
Schwartz, Barbara K; Caufield, Gregory M S Facing the Shadow: A Guided Workbook for Understanding and Controlling Sexual Deviance 1996 1887554017 A comprehensive self-guided program for sex offender treatment. The book features: integrative approach supports a range of treatment modalities including behavioral, cognitive, addiction, psychodynamic, and relapse prevention; highly interactive format gets patients actively involved in their own treatment; accessible reading level -- ideal for low-literacy and special needs offenders, adults and juveniles; tested, refined, and proved effective with hundreds of offenders; time-saving and cost-saving way to prepare offenders for group or intensive therapy, or supplement treatment. 188 Psychosexual Disorders, Sex Offenders
Schwartz, Daylle Deanna All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise: A Woman's Guide to Understanding Men 1998
1999
1580620485
1580621732
Despite the title of this book, it is not suggesting that women have to be without men or that men are bad, but rather how women should handle relationships with men, how to avoid a broken heart, and how to feel good about ourself if there is no man in our life. There are good men out there, if you can get past the jerks! Everybody knows that men can act like real jerks. But complaining about them won't get you what you want. This book tells it like it is -- explaining why men act they way they do, and what they really think about dating, sex, and relationships. Most importantly, it teaches you what to say and do to get the love and affection you deserve. All Men Are Jerks teaches women critical survival skills -- how to protect themselves until they've established if they've found the right man, or whether they've found just another jerk. The book also explains why men act they way they do -- and what women can do to protect themselves from the pain and disappointment they'll suffer if Prince Charming turns out to be a loser. It itemizes the many ways that men can be jerks -- and tells women how to decide which flaws are tolerable, which are grounds for "termination," and offers invaluable survival tactics for dealing with men -- and staying happy -- whether or not Mr. Right ever shows up. Daylle encourages women to get a life so they don't feel so needy for a man and won't make men so important to their happiness. Instead of saying you are busy, Daylle says to be busy. 283
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  Relationship Health
Seamands, David A Healing for Damaged Emotions[: Recovering From the Memories That Cause Our Pain] 1981
1991
0882072285
0896939383
Whether through our own fallen temperament, willful disobedience, or as victims of the hurtful actions of others, many of us struggle with crippling emotions, among them perfectionism, depression, and low-self-worth. The pain is often present with us even though the incidents and relationships that caused it may be long past. "Healing for Damaged Emotions" has helped readers deal honestly and successfully with their inner hurts. Through David Seamands' realistic, scriptural approach, you too can find healing and then become an agent of healing for fellow strugglers. 144 Emotional Health (Religious)
Seamands, David A; Funk, Beth Healing for Damaged Emotions Workbook 1992 1564760251 This companion workbook to "Healing for Damaged Emotions" provides the tools to examine you life and find healing for the painful scars that cripple your emotions. In this workbook you will find: the entire text of "Healing for Damaged Emotions;" Scripture meditation and memorization; prayer exercises; journaling exercises; small group guide; and recovery resources. 240 Emotional Health, Workbook (Religious)
Silverman, Sue William Love Sick: One Woman's Journey through Sexual Addiction 2001 0393019578 In this powerful, often lyrical memoir, a woman learns to value herself -- as a whole person rather than as a sexual object. With the help of her therapist, she comes to realize that she is a sex addict, someone who craves and needs sex -- not because she enjoys it, but because she believes nothing else can make her feel good about herself. "Only when my body is desired," she writes, "do I feel beautiful, powerful, loved." Recounting her past experiences as part of her journey toward recovery, she explores her skewed belief that sex is love. This is a brave and candid book that will prove a touchstone for others seeking to break a cycle of emotional self destruction. The book's story of recovery takes us through 28 days in an inpatient clinic for female sex addicts. It explores the psychology of addiction on a deeply personal level, sharing the struggles with self-destructive tendencies and a desperate desire to be loved, no matter what the cost. 288 Biography, Sex Addict
Simon Jr., George K In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing With Manipulative People 1996 096516960X Whether it's your mate, your child, your boss, or a co-worker, if they know how to get the better of you and look good at the same time, you are being skillfully manipulated. Manipulative people have two goals: to win and to look good doing it. Often those they abuse are ignorant of, or only vaguely aware of, what is happening to them. To stop being a victim, you have to know how to spot these "wolves in sheep's clothing" and this book casts aside the cloak of secrecy these "wolves" use. Each chapter highlights a specific characteristic using vignettes taken from actual case histories. Then Dr. Simon takes you behind the scenes and between the lines. What on the surface may sound to you like perfectly logical behavior turns out to be cloaked in the most insidious, subtle mantle of manipulation. In Sheep's Clothing also takes a probing look at the important difference between self-respect and self-esteem -- and, in a profound epilogue -- the ways our society now encourages the wrong kind of aggressive behavior. You will discover: 4 reasons why victims have a hard time leaving abusive relationships; power tactics manipulators use to push their own agendas and justify their behavior; ways to redefine the rules of engagement between you and an abuser; how to spot potential weaknesses in your character that can set you up for manipulation; and 12 tools for Personal Empowerment to help you maintain greater strength in all relationships. 140 Boundaries
Sipe, A. W. Richard Sex, Priests, and Power: Anatomy of a Crises 1995 0876307691
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0876307780
Sipe's books about the Catholic Church are controversial in an area known for its divisiveness. His insights are important and his conclusions thought provoking. A must read if you are interested in sexual misconduct by clergy, or in sexuality and church issues. For more than 30 years, psychotherapist Sipe has been engaged in research on the institution and practice of priestly celibacy. He has reported and interpreted that research before, but this book takes it as background for a more thorough examination of the entanglement of sexuality and power in the historical development of the Roman Catholic Church. Given the pervasiveness of the entanglement, the book becomes a case study of sorts, with implications beyond the boundaries of Roman Catholicism and beyond the practice of celibacy. Among the most interesting and important aspects of the book is its systematic application of sociobiology to a concrete moral -- and political -- problem. That sociobiology shares with Roman Catholic theology a profound appreciation for the "natural" as an ethical category makes this a promising venture -- and it carries it beyond the potential trivialities of exposé or polemic. This is a thoughtful book, informed not only by the headlines but also by a deep respect for celibacy and for the Roman Catholic tradition as well as the "systemic" insights of sociobiology. 224 Sex and Religion
Small, Jacquelyn; Small, J Awakening in Time: The Journey from Codependence to Co-Creation 1991
2001
0553349554
0939344181
Hailed as one of the best books "out there" on codependence, Awakening in Time is transforming the way codependence is percieved and healed. A pioneer in psychological and spiritual approaches to addiction, Jacquelyn Small integrates ideas from the Twelve-Step recovery movement, Jungian thought, Western Mysticism and Eastern thought to create a path-breaking new synthesis. She shows that "codependece," rather than being a term that labels and limits us, is a spiritual crisis with a sacred purpose -- and a spiritual solution. Awakening in Time includes exercises, ritual, and guided imagery and explores such unique and healing ideas as: codependence and the shadow self -- only by embracing harmful patterns and past hurts can we let them go; the seven steps of dis-identification to release addictive behaviors; how codependent urges -- the urge to control, the urge to excite, the urge to merge -- can be transformed into positive spiritual powers; and "Heartwork" -- the process of opening to one's unique creativity, the ultimate healer of codependence. Reading Awakening in Time, we find ourselves imbued with the seeds of transformation that open us to the innate possibility that we can create lives free from addictive patterns of behavior. We can walk through -- then beyond -- past hurts that are keeping us stuck in limiting views of ourselves, our relationships, and our everday world. Now, with eyes and hearts wide open, Jacquelyn's words inspire and guide us right to the precipice of our dawning new future. There it is up to each one of us to step out and embrace the greatest mystery of all, our own Soul's purpose. Many will find Small's contribution to the literature of "new paradigm" psychology compassionate, provocative, practicable, and refreshingly unpretentious. 274
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  Codependence
Smith, Carol Cox Recovering Couples: Building Partnership the Twelve-Step Way 1992 0553353918 302 Alcoholism, Codependency, Marriage Communication
Spring, Janis Abrahms After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful 1997 0060928174 For the 70 percent of couples who have been affected by extramarital affairs, this is a great book to offer proven strategies for surviving the crisis and rebuilding the relationship -- written by a nationally known therapist considered an expert on infidelity. There is nothing quite like the pain and shock caused when a partner has been unfaithful. The hurt partner often experiences a profound loss of self-respect and falls into a depression that can last for years. For the relationship, infidelity is often a death blow. "After the Affair" is the first book to help readers survive this crisis. Written by a clinical psychologist who has been treating distressed couples for 22 years, it guides both hurt and unfaithful partners through the three stages of healing: normalizing feelings, deciding whether to recommit, and revitalizing the relationship. It provides proven, practical advice to help the couple change their behavior toward each other, cultivate trust and forgiveness and build a healthier, more conscious intimate partnership. 304 Affairs
Springle, Pat Codependency: Breaking Free From the Hurt and Manipulation of Dysfunctional Relationships 1990 0945276125 Pat Springle gives incredible insight into the woven complexities of codependency, yet he relates this information in a simple language easy enough for a child to understand. If you struggle with the need to control and rescue others, then this book will assist you in your education and steps to freedom. 299 Codependency
Stafford, David; Hodgkinson, Liz Codependency: How to Break Free and Live Your Own Life 1991
1999
0749910437
0749918349
"Codependents" is a relatively new term for people who have to depend on others for their own sense of self-worth and self-esteem. They often come from alcoholic or other dysfunctional families where there are rigid roles and behavior patterns, and they have little sense of personal identity, concentrating instead on being needed. They can excel at coping and caring, but underneath there is always the wish to comply (ie. to please others) and control (to manipulate others). This can lead to illness and depression and an inability to form satisfactory relationships. With the use of case histories, this book aims to show how codependency starts, how it manifests itself, and how the problems it causes can be overcome. 146
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Codependency
Subotnik, Rona; Harris, Gloria Surviving Infidelity: Making Decisions, Recovering from the Pain 1993
1999
1558502998
1580621376
Not all extramarital affairs are the same, nor do they all call for the same response. In Surviving Infidelity, therapists Rona Subotnik and Gloria Harris examine: the different kinds of affairs (and why they happen); the effects of an affair on the marriage; strategies for coping with hurt and betrayal; life after an affair-from deciding whether to continue the marriage to undertaking the challenge of rebuilding it; and the importance of sincere apologies, communicated with empathy, in re-establishing a couple's relationship. Drawing on their clinical experience, Subotnik and Harris offer a nonjudgmental and compassionate look at infidelity from the spouse's point of view, emphasizing practical approaches to recovery. Their work is bringing new hope to couples who confront these painful issues. 192
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Affairs
Teachworth, Anne Why We Pick the Mates We Do: A Step-By-Step Program to Select a Better Partner or Improve the Relationship You're Already In 1999 1889968536 Why We Pick The Mates We Do is an interactive book that begins with an easy-to-take Selection Test that is guaranteed to give you the most amazing insight into the real reasons you have selected or rejected your past and present partners and predict how your current relationship will turn out before you get married. If you have ever been unable to find the kind of relationship partner you really want, don't settle for less or give up altogether. Taking the Selection Test will not only reveal to you why you have been magnetically attracted to the wrong partners in the past, but will also give you methods to release yourself from attractions to people who are not good to you or for you. This system is the result of my twenty five years as a couple counselor and has already proven itself with thousands of people as the most important key to making successful life-mate choices. This new method of couple counseling consistently gets dramatic improvements in relationshi! ps from selection to solution. The book helps both singles and married couples to finally uncover the real problem that keeps them from having happy relationships and shows them how to reprogram their imprinted negative couple patterns. 246 Relationship Health
Thoele, Sue Patton The Courage to Be Yourself: A Woman's Guide to Emotional Strength and Self-Esteem 2001 1573245690 Sue Patton Thoele continues her quest to help readers enhance their self-esteem and tap into their core emotional strength. Geared to women who too often find themselves meeting the wants of others at the expense of their own needs, the book provides necessary tools to help readers transform their fears into the courage to express their own authentic selves. By sharing her own journey and the journey of other women, Thoele helps readers learn to set boundaries, change self-defeating behavior patterns, communicate effectively, and become a loving and tolerant friend to themselves. It is a practical guide to freeing oneself from emotional dependence, gaining self-confidence, enhancing self-esteem, overcoming self-limiting fears and creating the ability to love others more fully. When you say what you're feeling and act upon your convictions, you are being heroic and reinforcing your identity. The book helps us recognize... and multiply... that authenticating behavior. It also includes a discussion of codependency and addiction. This tenth-anniversary edition contains 30 percent new material, including a new introduction. 224 Self-Esteem
Townsend, John Marshall What Women Want -- What Men Want: Why the Sexes Still See Love and Commitment So Differently 1998
1999
0195114884
0195131037
What Women Want -- What Men Want offers compelling new evidence about the real reasons behind men's and women's differing sexual psychologies and sheds new light on what men and women look for in a mate, the predicament of marriage in the modern world, the relation between sex and emotion, and many other hotly debated questions. John Townsend draws on 2000 questionnaires and extensive quotations from 200 intimate interviews to show how deep-seated desires and emotions guide our actions in dating, sexual relationships, and marriage. Townsend argues against the politically correct belief that differences in sexual behavior are "culturally constructed," and shows that these differences are universal and rooted in our evolutionary past. In a fascinating series of experiments, men and women were asked to indicate preferences for potential mates based on their attractiveness and apparent economic status. Women preferred expensively dressed men to more attractive but apparently less successful men, and men chose more attractive women regardless of their professional status. Townsend also found that men are inclined to value casual sexual relations, whereas women cannot easily separate sexual relations from the need for emotional attachment and economic security. Lucidly and accessibly written, What Women Want -- What Men Want brings new clarity to one of the most intractable debates of our time. 300
304
  Relationship Health
Twerski, Abraham J; Nakken, Craig Addictive Thinking and the Addictive Personality: Understanding the Addictive Process, Compulsive Behavior, and Self-Deception 1999 1567313310 This book is actually two books put together as a set in a common binding. The first book, Addictive Thinking, was pretty much a rehash to anyone who has read anything about alcoholism and addiction. If you are completely new to trying to understand alcoholic addiction then it may have some value, but there are better books on that subject. It would have more accurately been named Addictive Thinking in the Alcoholic. On the other hand the second book, The Addictive Personality, was an excellent and broad reaching tome on addiction. It covers how addictions form, what they mean to the person, what the person is thinking, their fears, concerns and innermost turmoil. It not only applied to alcoholic addiction but food addictions, power addictions, sexual addictions, etc. If you truly want to understand how addictions form and what is really going on below the surface then this is one of the best books on the subject. 288 Addictions
Valiant, Karen Love Over Lust: How Love Overcame the Power of Sexual Addiction 2000 0595091776 We all fall in love. We make a lifetime commitment. We work through life's ups and downs. But how do we cope with the discovery that our mate has lost his/her soul to the consuming power of multiple addictions? How do we survive the ultimate pain that accompanies sexual addiction? Love Over Lust is a true story. The stage is set as Mike decides to re-involve himself with his addictive chemical of choice: alcohol. Mike and Karen are going through a stressful period in their lives. Mike's addictive personality is activated as he progresses from social drinking to daily drinking to drunkenness. What began as an innocent curiosity with pornography quickly escalated into a costly relationship with a nude dancer. The seductive nature of sexual lust nearly destroyed their 14-year marriage. As Mike's secrets are uncovered, Love Over Lust tells the story of Karen Valiant's mission to understand and overcome the chaotic events in their lives. She shares her shattered spirit with you and her prescription for healing: healing begins with a recovery commitment of the couple; time is the great healer; love is the miracle. 168 Sex Addiction
Vaughan, Diane Uncoupling: Turning Points in Intimate Relationships 1986
1990
0195039106
0679730028
Based on ten years' research, this is the only book of its type on the market today. It explains in lucid and engaging detail the turning points in intimate relationships showing that there are basic similar patterns. Vaughan's extensive use of interviews of both straight and gay couples, married and live-ins, makes her book lively and interesting. One of the best ways to keep a relationship together is to understand how it comes apart. In this groundbreaking book, Diane Vaughan shows that all relationships coming apart follow basic patterns -- patterns so strikingly similar that they're almost ritualistic. Based on a decade of research and more than 100 personal interviews, the book examines the ten major turning points in every troubled relationship. It is an invaluable tool for clergy and counselors. 250
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  Affairs
Vaughan, Peggy The Monogamy Myth: A Personal Handbook for Recovering from Affairs 1989
1990
1991
1998
1998
1557040443
155704077X
0517070871
1557043531
1557043620
Peggy Vaughn, who's been featured on Oprah! and CNN, has helped thousands of folks recover from affairs. As the extramarital-affairs expert behind AOL's "Ask Peggy" forum and as a woman who's been married for 40 years to her high school sweetheart -- who cheated on her for seven years while she kidded herself that he was remaining faithful -- she certainly knows what she's talking about. She says that to successfully overcome an unfaithful spouse or companion, you have to work through the myths of monogamy. It's not just men, or men who travel a lot on business, or women with supermodel good looks, who cheat. It's people of all ages and all occupations. Studies conservatively estimate that 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an affair. Vaughn outlines the societal causes and supporters of affairs, from the commercialization of sex in every visible nook and cranny of our world to our lifelong tendency to surround sex with secrecy. She also lists the common desperate measures that people take when they suspect they're being cheated on, and why they don't work. She also tells what to expect during a confrontation, and includes copious techniques for rebuilding self-esteem. There's also information about how to choose a marriage counselor or group therapist and, even more important, when to stop seeing one. For couples debating whether to divorce or remain married, there's plenty of proven guidance to be found here. 224 Affairs, Family
Vaughan, Peggy; Vaughan, James Recovering From Affairs: A Handbook for Couples: How to Overcome the Emotional Impact When Your Partner Has an Affair 1999 0936390069 53 Couple Recovery
Virtue, Doreen L Yo-Yo Relationships: How to Break the "I Need a Man" Habit and Find Stability 1994 0925190357 A much-needed guide for women who wonder how to have a quality relationship in the midst of juggling multiple responsibilities. Doreen Virtue helps women realistically balance their roles and obligations so they can find success in love and work and still have personal time. With humor, compassion and common sense, this book speaks to women who feel that "something is missing." Highlights include: 101 ways to add fun to your life (guilt-free); ten secrets to getting what you want; getting more stability and satisfaction in your love life; does your excercise program fit your personality?; an honest look at men and money; finally a stress-management strategy that really works; and is your life on hold while you wait to lose weight? 210 Women, Balance
Wagner, David A Secret Sins of the Heart: Freedom from the Chains of Pornography 2001 1553062655 Pastor Dave writes from the heart in this book and it is very frank both regarding the seriousness of this sin and the only way to find victory in Jesus Christ. This book does not puff up with knowledge, it actually edifies the reader and equips them to live in freedom. It is challenging and convicting, and anyone who struggles with these secret sins (or knows someone who does) will be greatly helped by this much-needed perspective. In a non-condemning and helpful way, Wagner offers help and hope. 328 Pornography Addiction (religious)
Weiner-Davis, Michele Divorce Busting: A Revolutionary and Rapid Program for Staying Together 1991
1993
067172598X
0671797255
In this ground-breaking book, Michele Weiner-Davis gives straightforward, effective advice on how couples can stay together instead of come apart. Using case histories to illustrate her marriage-enriching, divorce-preventing techniques, which can be used even if only one partner participates, Weiner-Davis shows readers: how to leave the past behind and set attainable goals; strategies for identifying problem-solving behavior that works; how to make changes last; and "Uncommon-sense" methods for breaking unproductive patterns. Inspirational and accessible, Divorce Busting shows readers in pain that working it out is better than getting out. 252   Rebuilding Relationships
Weiss, Douglas 101 Freedom Exercises: A Christian Guide for Sex Addiction Recovery 2001 1881292231 This is the best single resource for the Christian who desires to know what they need to do to get and stay free from sexual addiction. This book contains 101 exercises that have been proven to work. In this book you receive the best techniques that Dr. Weiss has used to help thousands already obtain their freedom from sexual addiction. 148 Sex Addiction, Workbook (Christian)
Weiss, Douglas 101 Practical Exercizes for Sexual Addiction Recovery 1997 1881292193 Weiss leaves no room for one to stay in the comfort zone of denial. Very practical and doable steps of extricating oneself from the stranglehold of sexual addiction. However the reader is not overwhelmed by an urgency to be perfect in an instant. They are encouraged to remember to make progress every day...one day at a time. 146 Sex Addiction, Workbook
Weiss, Douglas Beyond Love: A 12-Step Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts 1996 1881292207 This book puts forward some very valuable exercises for working a recovery program for partners of sex addicts. It is a must for anybody trying to break out of their codependent/co-sex addicted behaviors, denial, and come to terms with betrayal. Males partners may be offended by the language and the assumption that the reader is female. 128 Co-Addiction, Workbook
Weiss, Douglas How To Love When It Hurts So Bad 1996 1881292509 This book is often used in conjunction with an audio cassette series of the same name. It is helpful for codependents or partners of spouses with any addictions. 95 Codependency, Boundaries
Weiss, Douglas Intimacy: A 100-Day Guide to Lasting Relationships 2001 0884197670 Intimacy doesn't need to be illusive! It's time to recognize intimacy for what it is -- a loving and lifelong process that you can learn. Dr. Weiss offers a 100-day practical plan that will energize your relationship and create a spiritual, emotional and physical closeness that you have hungered for in your marriage. You'll identify destructive emotional roadblocks that keep you from experiencing exciting and satisfying intimate moments with your spouse. Develop a marathon mentality for your relationship, and take the next 100 days to fall in love all over again. In this book, you will discover: how to discuss your sexual desires; having spirituality that works in the bedroom; how your "government style" can limit your intimacy; three daily exercises guaranteed to make love last; how to set boundaries; how to connect emotionally; and practical steps to letting go of your past. 343 Relationship Recovery
Weiss, Douglas Partners Recovery Guide: 100 Empowering Exercizes 1997 1881292150 This book puts forward some very valuable exercises for recovery from discovering your partner is a sex addict. It is a must for anybody trying to break out of their codependent/co-sex addicted behaviors. Although the author acknowledges that there are both male and female sex addicts, this book is written with the assumption that the reader is female. Most exercises in the book easily apply to both genders of recovering partners; however, male partners may be offended by the language and the assumption that the reader is female. This book still comes recommended, as it has excellent suggestions. 134 Relationship Recovery
Weiss, Douglas Partners: Healing From His Addiction 2001 1881292258 This book is the latest in research of the affects on a woman who has lived with a sexual addict. The riveting statistics combined with personal stories of recovery make this a have to read book for any woman in a relationship with a sex addict. Dr. Weiss also offers the readers hope and a beginning plan for their personal recovery. 200 Co-Addiction Recovery
Weiss, Douglas Secret Solutions Workbook 2000 1881292592 This is a practical recovery exercise workbook written specifically for female sex addicts. Many of these techniques Dr. Weiss uses in private practice to help female sex addicts. This is one of the most solution oriented and practical workbooks for female sex addicts to date. 154   Workbook, Sex Addiction, Women
Weiss, Douglas Sex, God and Men 2002 0884198812 God wants you to enjoy the best sex ever! Finally, an encouraging message for men who want to be sexually successful! What is sexual success? It's having a three-dimensional (body, mind and spirit) connection to your spouse alone that grows increasingly more fulfilling throughout your lifetime together. God is not against sexual pleasure in your marriage! In fact, He created it! So what is keeping you from experiencing the best of His creation? Discover the answer to that question -- and more -- in Sex, Men and God. Dr. Douglas Weiss has clearly and creatively outlined practical, doable suggestions and principles that will help you enjoy your sexuality as God intended. Dr. Weiss shares lifelong tools that will help you: understand the way God made your brain for the best sex ever; immediately start using important keys to total fulfillment in your sex life; discover why God's design for sex with one woman in marriage can totally fulfill you; find out how to get and stay free from any sexual "baggage" you may have; learn how to shepherd your son sexually before the world grabs his attention; and communicate the most important words that a woman wants to hear during sex. You'll find honest, liberating and candid discussions about male sexuality, sometimes humorous -- but definitely without preaching! You can apply these proven godly principles and enjoy more fulfilling sex with your wife for a lifetime. 240 Sex Addiction
Weiss, Douglas She Has a Secret: Understanding Female Sexual Addiction 2000 1881292584 Sexual addiction has been looked at too long as a man's addiction. Some women can be and are addicted to sex! The behaviors vary from woman to woman but the cycles of addiction and the consequences are very real. This groundbreaking book is the first in the field to specifically address female sexual addiction. Several women share their very personal, sometimes darkest secrets about their sexual addictions. The research survey unveils some startling statistics about these women. Dr. Weiss, a national expert, outlines the path and similarities of male and female sexual addiction. "She Has A Secret" places a woman on a known path to recovery so she can be free from the secret of sexual addiction. This book is a must read for every woman who knows a woman addicted to sex and for every man who has been hurt by these women and their addiction. 230 Sex Addiction, Women (religious)
Weiss, Douglas Steps of Hope: A 12-Step Recovery Guide for Sex Addiction 1996 1881292215 This workbook is designed specifically for sexual addiction recovery. Unlike a general twelve step workbook meant for just anyone, Dr. Weiss wrote this workbook to addreses the sexual addiction recovering person. This book takes the reader individually or as a group in a step by step study through each of the twelve steps as it relates specifically to sexual addiction recovery. This book is a must for those working the twelve steps to gain insight and the possibility of a life free from sexual addiction. 110 Sex Addiction, Workbook
Weiss, Douglas Steps to Freedom: Christian 12-Step Guide for Sex Addiction Recovery 1997 1881292029 This is a Christian approach to the Twelve Steps. This book will guide you through the 12 steps of recovery that have been helpful for many addicted people. This book is specifically written for the person desiring recovery from sexual addiction. 123 Sex Addiction, Workbook (Christian)
Weiss, Douglas The Final Freedom: Pioneering Sexual Addiction Recovery 1998 1881292371 Sex addiction affects millions of people's lives today, and is on the rise with the internet. This solution focused book offers an intelligent understanding of sexual addiction as well as practical remedies. "The Final Freedom" is the single most professionally endorsed book in the field of sexual addiction to date! 169 Sex Addiction Recovery, Christian
Weiss, Douglas; DeBusk, Diane Women Who Love Sex Addicts: Help for Healing from the Effects of a Relationship with a Sex Addict 1993 1881292789 Offers a look at a situation facing millions of today's women women -- loving a man with a sexual addiction. Offers insight or the following pertinent issues: Self esteem and family of origin issues; Denial, control and dependency. 279 Sex Addicts, Codependence, 12-steps
White, John Eros Defiled: The Christian and Sexual Sin 1977 0877847819 "Something happened to love -- eros, physical love -- when mankind fell. The beauty was marred. The joy was tinged with sadness. Eros was defiled." Today the results of the Fall are evident in premarital sex, extramarital sex, masturbation, homosexuality and various forms of twisted sex. John White speaks with understanding and compassion about each of these sexual sins. He concludes with a telling chapter on how local churches can be communities for dealing with sexual sin in a context of love and foregiveness. 300 Sex Addiction (religious)
White, John Eros Redeemed: Breaking the Strangehold of Sexual Sin 1993 0830816976
0830816593
John White examines the history and consequences of sexual sin, offers a biblical studyof human sexuality and what it means to be a man or woman in Christ, and describes how to minister to those needing forgiveness, healing, and hope. Tens of thousands of Christians are in the grip of sexual sin. Not only are they looking for forgiveness, they are also looking for healing and for a change that will make a permanent difference in their lives. Can the stranglehold be broken? John White insists that it can. Years of studying Scripture while ministering to those caught up in promiscuity, adultery, homosexuality, voyeurism and pornography have confirmed his belief. We can be redeemed from sexual sin. In the face of radical feminism and gay liberation, the author lays the groundwork for change with a thorough biblical study of human sexuality and what it means to be a man or woman in Christ. He also notes the consequences of sexual sin, the connection between promiscuity and violence, and the horrific effects of Satanic ritual abuse. In the heart of the book he offers the means of grace God has provided for inner healing and change. Then he shows how we can mend the hidden wounds of those needing forgiveness, healing and hope. 285   Sex Addiction (religious)
White, William L. The Incestuous Workplace: Stress and Distress in the Organizational Family 1997 1568381549 This new Hazelden release is the culmination of William L. White's illustrious career as a consultant to corporations and organizations which have trouble with sex in the workplace. Probably destined to be a classic in the organizational development literature, it is also a must read for anyone interested in sexual challenges for those who work together, or sexual misconduct in general. A brilliant and powerful indictment of the debilitating consequences of business-as-usual in today's workplaces, together with concrete strategies for preventing and changing them. 315 Trauma
Whiteman, Tom; Peterson, Randy; Whiteman, Thomas Victim of Love?: How You Can Break the Cycle of Bad Relationships 1998 1576830535 If you find yourself saying things like: "I'll just die if I can't be with him." "If she leaves me, I'll do something drastic." "You're my everything. I'd be nothing without you." you may be a victim of love -- someone caught in the cycle of addictive relationships. The book looks at these kinds of unhealthy relationships and shows you how to identify their danger signs so you can avoid repeating past choices and gain balance in your life. 224 Love Addiction
Whitfield, Charles L Boundaries and Relationships: Knowing, Protecting and Enjoying the Self 1993
2001
155874259X
1567314716
Charles L. Whitfield thoroughly explores healthy and unhealthy relationships and personal boundaries, offers a self-assessment survey, and describes how individuals can improve relationships. We know at deep levels of consciousness that love is the universal answer, but relationships are difficult. How do we reconcile these apparent contradictions? Can we find a conscious way of loving in which our relationships flourish while our boundaries remain intact? Charles Whitfield explores ways we can cherish our True Selves, safely achieve harmonious relationships with others and find peace and joy with our Higher Power. The book begins with clear definitions and descriptions of boundaries and then explains ten essential types of human interaction in which relationships can be improved. 265 Interpersonal Relationships, Self
Whitfield, Charles L Co-dependence: Healing the Human Condition: The New Paradigm for Helping Professionals and People in Recovery 1991 155874150X Of all the books on the often misunderstood concept of co-dependence, this is probably the clearest, most complete and informative. Charles Whitfield is a frontline clinician who has been assisting co-dependents in their healing for over twenty years. He has researched the literature on co-dependence, which he summarizes in this widely read book. He sees co-dependence as a way to more accurately describe the painful and confusing part of the human condition. In careful detail he describes just what co-dependence is and what it is not, how it comes about, and how to heal its painful aftereffects. He discusses how co-dependence is a major manifestation of being an adult child of a dysfunctional family and provides specific recovery methods to help heal its wounds. Packed with practical psychology and a strong respect for the spiritual, this book shows readers how to heal co-dependence. 330 Codependency, Rehabilitation
Whitfield, Charles L Healing the Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families 1987 0932194400 Dr. Whitfield provides a clear and effective introduction to the basic principles of recovery. This book is a modern classic, as fresh and useful today as it was more than a decade ago when first published. Here, frontline physician and therapist Charles Whitfield describes the process of wounding that the Child Within (True Self) experiences and shows how to differentiate the True Self from the false self. He also describes the core issues of recovery and more. Once our Inner Child is freed from layers of guilt, resentment, shame and isolation that began building during childhood, personal freedom can become ours. Other writings on this topic have come and gone, while Healing the Child Within has remained a strong introduction to recognizing and healing from the painful effects of childhood trauma. Highly recommended by therapists and survivors of trauma. 150 Codependency, Self
Wholey, Dennis (Ed.) Becoming Your Own Parent: The Solution for Adult Children of Alcoholic and Other Dysfunctional Families 1988
1989
0385245912
0553347888
This is written by Mr. Wholey as well as seven other adult children from dysfunctional families. You learn of their struggles as well as their triumphs and the positive changes they are making in their lives today. A good read for anyone, but especially a guide for teens who must take charge of their lives because their families are not functioning properly. 285
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Wiley, James Power Recovery: The Twelve Steps for a New Generation 1995 0809135523 172 12-Steps, Alcohol and Drug Recovery
Willingham, Russell; Davies, Bob Breaking Free: Understanding Sexual Addiction and the Healing Power of Jesus 1999 0830817913 This book deals with issues such as what all addicts have in common, the hunt of the malnourished heart, where to find courage to face the dark side, wrestling with shame and grace, and the healing effect of radical honesty. This realistic yet hopeful book offers a new way to see the world for every person who wants to understand and break free from sexual addiction. 213 Sex Addiction (religious)
Wills-Brandon, Carla Is It Love or Is It Sex? Why Relationships Don't Work 1989
2000
1558740279
0595093507
With the help of Is It Love Or Is It Sex?, Carla Wills-Brandon assists readers in examining why we may be experiencing difficulty in our primary love relationship. Problems of sex, intimacy, communication, loneliness and frustration can be resolved. Relationships do not have to fail and intimacy is possible. Love can blossom again. Too many couples in our society today head for divorce court, not knowing that there are resolutions to most relationship difficulties. Sex tends to play a big role in an unhappy coupleship, along with a lack of communication and an inability to know how to have a healthy disagreement. Carla wrote this book after working with thousands of couples suffering from such difficulties. Her husband, a psychologist, and her always see couples, as a couple. In doing this they are able to provide a balanced theraputic setting. Such safety has allowed for in-depth discussion of issues rotating around sex, love, money, kids and even inlaws. Included in this book is a workbook section, which a couple can use to look at their own relationship issues. Relationship break up should always be a last resort. Carla Wills-Brandon has authored numerous self-help books and has worked for close to two decades as a licensed marriage and family therapist, educator and lecturer. Carla Wills-Brandon has an MA in Psychology and a Ph.D. in nutrition. 164 Relationship Addiction
Wilson, Kathryn; Wilson, Paul Stone Cold in a Warm Bed 1998 0889651507 Stone Cold in a Warm Bed is an eloquent reminder to partners of those who are sexually addicted that they are not alone. Couples wrestling with sexual addiction and the impact of pornography undoubtedly will be blessed in an extraordinary way through the Wilson's story. It describes the process: pornography; discovering; longing; grieving; trusting; forgiving; waiting; and rebuilding. The Wilson's have confronted a difficult issue with sensitivity, compassion and wisdom. They not only share their story, they take the reader through a step by step process of healing. Kathryn Wilson illustrates what women need to know and what couples need to share in order to bring their marriage back into a healthy union. Readers will learn how faith can rebuild a marriage and heal the wounds of a sexual addiction. Kathryn Wilson's personal account and guidance will instruct and inspire women. They will find the hope they need and never feel alone again after reading this book. 132 Pornography (religious)
Woititz, Janet (Geringer); Wegscheider-Cruse, Sharon; Whitfield, Charles; Greenleaf, Jael Codependency: Anthology 1986 0932194214 98 Codependency
Woititz, Janet Geringer Struggle for Intimacy [1986] The Intimacy Struggle: A New Version of the Struggle for Intimacy [1993] 1986
1993
0932194257
1558742778
The struggle for intimacy is part of a life-long process, says Janet Woititz in this best selling guide to successful relationships. For those who have grown up with alcoholism or dysfunction in the home, it is especially difficult. To be intimate, to be close, to be vulnerable, contradicts all the survival skills learned by Children of Alcoholics. Acquiring intimacy skills requires a complete relearning process and is a difficult task, but not an insurmountable one. In this book, you learn: what a healthy relationship is; how to achieve one; and how to change habits that do not work. Struggle is inevitable; mistakes are inevitable; discouragement is inevitable. However, so is -- sharing, loving, enhancement, joy, excitement, companionship, understanding, cooperation, trusting, growth, security, and serenity. [The 1993 edition is revised and expanded.] 100
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  Relationship Health
Young, Kimberly S Tangled in the Web: Understanding Cybersex from Fantasy to Addiction 2001 0759622884 Dr. Young's book provides a simple yet comprehensive recovery plan that helps people to stay off the computer for sex chat while still being able to use it for work-related purposes. She outlines why cybersex is so appealing and provides practical and concrete exercises to stay sober even when relapse is a mouse click away. While the book focuses on the individual cybersex addict, there is plenty of material for the co-addict to understand the problem, and a chapter on how couples can rebuild trust and communication. [Chapter 1 The Brave New World Of The Cybersexual Revolution; Chapter 2 Online Seductions: The Eight Motives Of Cybersex Users; Chapter 3 When Cybersex Becomes An Obsession; Chapter 4 The Road To Recovery: Seven Steps For Treating Cybersexual Addiction; Chapter 5 Infidelity Online: Hope and Help For Couples Dealing With Cyberaffairs; Chapter 6 What Families Can Do To Help A Cybersex-Addicted Loved One; Chapter 7 Looking Towards The Future: Finding Additonal Resources] 144 Cybersex Addiction
Zilbergeld, Bernie The New Male Sexuality 1992
1999
0553082531
0553380427
The old performance model is out, replaced by a new model of sex that emphasizes "pleasure, closeness, and self- and partner- enhancement" -- or so says Oakland therapist Zilbergeld. Pleasure takes practice, for doing what comes naturally is no guarantee of good sex, Zilbergeld counsels. Here, good sex is defined as feeling good about yourself, good about your partner, and good about what you're doing. As in Male Sexuality (1978), Zilbergeld includes many exercises -- ranging from solo mental activities to practice sessions requiring a willing partner -- that he's used regularly in his practice. In addition, he provides suggested scripts that give examples of how to talk to your partner. Zilbergeld examines the fantasy model of sex with some hilarious excerpts from bestselling novels by Harold Robbins, Erica Jong, and others before focusing on the real thing with black-and-white anatomical drawings and charts depicting male and female sexual response. With the basics out of the way, he moves on to his main concern: how to have better sex. The focus is on relationships and communication -- becoming a good listener, asserting yourself, expressing yourself, etc. Specific sexual problems are considered, and exercises designed to resolve them are provided. Zilbergeld acknowledges that self-help may not be enough and directs difficult cases to a sex therapist. And lest the next generation have the same hang-ups as the present one, he includes a chapter of advice for fathers on talking to their sons about sex. Takes on tough problems and answers difficult-to-ask questions: comprehensive, forthright, and reassuring. 592
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Sexual Health
Zoldbrod, Aline P Sex Smart: How Your Childhood Shaped Your Sexual Life and What to Do About It 1998 1572241098 Dr. Zoldbrod demonstrates how family dynamics in childhood underlie adult sexual problems, from sexual aversion to sexual addiction. She explains with clarity the direct effects of parental overcontrol, violence, and emotional withdrawal, which often exist with addiction, on the sexual development of children. Case studies, "body maps," and exercises allow readers to work through sexual issues. If you are mystified about why you turned out the way you did sexually, or how to solve your sexual problems, Sex Smart is for you. Sex Smart is also for you if you are a person who is simply intrigued by sexuality and wants to understand it more deeply. Sex Smart talks about sex in a way that is unlike most other self help books, because it discusses many of the non-sexual aspects of family life which contribute to adult sexuality. How your family touches, and whether or not your parents listened to you and your emotional needs. Whether or not you learned trust. What kind of message your parents gave you about your body. How your parents handled power. What you learned from your parents' relationship to you. Whether there was emotional neglect, alcoholism, or physical violence. What your parents taught you about friendship. Whether you felt you owned your own self or not. These probably aren't aspects of your family life that you think of as being tied to how you feel about yourself as a sexual person now. Each person's sexual development is so completely unique that figuring out the puzzle of each patient's (or a couple's) sexual problem is always interesting. For many years, the author considered why people turn out so different sexually, why there are so many variations in sexual preferences and sexual pleasures and sexual problems. After much reading, trying to see if anyone had written a theory of sexual development that explained this phenomenon, she found none. Many patients had erotic blocks which completely puzzled them. The other "how-to" books and articles they had read had not explained to them why they had the issues they had and hadn't helped to fix them. The problems themselves weren't unusual -- things like lack of desire, difficulty getting aroused, orgasm problems, erection difficulties, premature ejaculation, sexual addictions and compulsions, and sexual pain. Aline unraveled a number of these people's questions and it turned out that the answer lay in their family experience. And until they were able to understand the deeper events, the behavioral exercises suggested in the other articles and the books they had been reading didn't work. (For instance, a man with erection problems had been negatively affected by seeing his father beat his mother. A woman with sexual pain came from a family where no one ever touched each other affectionately.) Her patients wanted a book to read that would reinforce and amplify what was being said to them in their sex therapy sessions. Aline came up with an integrated theory of what each of us needs to get in our family-of-origin to be able to enjoy being sexual as an adult. In writing "Sex Smart" she hopes to help people understand that a lot of non-sexual events in family life turn out to profoundly affect how we feel about letting go sexually with another person. Understanding the basis of our sexual difficulties lays the groundwork emotionally. At the end of each chapter, Sex Smart provides exercises to this end. 304 Sexual Addiction
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