Frequently Asked Questions / Links
How do I know if I am a Sex and / or Love Addict?
This is a question only you can answer. Most of us know if we are honest with
ourselves. Our lives have become unmanageable. We have done things that we had
promised ourselves, and others, that we would never do. These are 40 questions many of us
have asked ourselves in order to determine if we may qualify as a sex and / or love
The 40 Questions of SLAA (pdf)
What is S.L.A.A.?
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, or S.L.A.A., is a Twelve Step-Twelve Tradition
oriented fellowship of men and women who help each other to stay sober.
What is the cost?
There are no dues or fees; we are fully self-supporting through our own contributions.
For more information on how to contribute to our group please visit:
What are the Twelve Steps / Twelve Traditions?
The Twelve Steps and Traditions of SLAA are borrowed from Alcoholics Anonymous.
They are simply principles of living in daily life to help those in addiction recover.
A complete list of the steps and traditions can be found at:
The Twelve Steps of SLAA (pdf)
The Twelve Traditions of SLAA (pdf)
When / Where are the online meetings held?
SLAA Online meetings are held as listed at http://slaaonline.org/times - Regular meetings every day in #slaa at 12:00 noon, 4:30 pm and 10:00 pm Eastern Time. Business (Group Conscience) meetings are held in #slaa2 on the first Tuesday of each month at 9:00 pm Eastern Time. Note that the meeting times and locations are for the SLAA Online group only. For other groups and meetings visit: http://www.slaafws.org/meetings
How can I enter the #slaa chatroom?
For information on how to connect to the room please visit this link: slaaonline.org/irc
- or direct via the ad-free mibbit chat (browser link):Mibbit chat (browser)
What is the online meeting like? / What should I know?
The first time you visit a meeting, you will be asked "Are you a sex and or love addict/anorexic or considering that you may be one?" in a private message by the moderator of the meeting, whose name will be flashing at the top of your screen. Please double click on their name to answer the query. It is very important that you respond.
Also, please inform the person with the @ or & by their name that you are new by double clicking on their name (which will open up a private message chat).
In a meeting you will need to wait for the prompt - which states "we are ready for a new share" - before you will be given the floor to talk.
However, if it is your first meeting, you will generally be given an opportunity to share. In order to request the floor to share, simply type "!" (an exclamation point, without the parenthesis), and introduce yourself with your first name or nickname, and as a sex and or love addict/anorexic. When you are done sharing, simply type the word "done." For more information about our guidelines and how meetings are conducted, please visit slaaonline.org/guidelines
Where can I find the guidelines for this chat room?The primary "rule" is courtesy. While sharing we try to be considerate of others by not using language that may be triggering or offensive. While listening we try not to interrupt, judge, or ask questions while a person is sharing. Please read the complete list of our guidelines at:
What are the most common abbreviations for the chat room?
ao or a/o: Acting out
bl: Bottom line
Q: Qualifier (the person that helped us realize we were qualified for membership in this program)
doc: Drug Of Choice (referring to a person we used to act out with or have intrigue with, or can be referring to a preferred form of acting out)
RP: Recovery Partner (a person also in recovery that we talk with and share with more intimately than the group)
For a further list of abbreviations and acronyms please visit:
Is S.L.A.A. religious? / Do I have to be religious to recover?
S.L.A.A. is not affiliated with any sect, denomination, or religion. S.L.A.A. has no opinion on any outside issue, and does not engage in any public controversy. This means that even though S.L.A.A. is a spiritual program and makes reference to a higher power, S.L.A.A. does not specify what that power is or how a member comes in contact with that power. Any opinions or beliefs expressed by individual members belongs to those members and does not reflect the position of our group or S.L.A.A. as a whole.
What is considered inappropriate to share?
Generally avoid anything specific about your sexual behavior including names of pornographic websites, places, and ways you have acted out.
How will I know if I am being too specific, triggering someone, or my language is offensive?
Generally a member of the Group, or an operator (the people with the @ symbol) will tell you by typing "!T" or "!L" in the main room (it may happen during your share). Please do not take it personally or feel ashamed. It has happened to many of us.
What is Withdrawal? / How long does it last?
Withdrawal is something that almost all of us have to go through at different phases of the recovery program, in one form or another.
The length and severity depends on a number of factors, but the key thing to remember is that in this program you are not alone in your suffering; it is necessary for us to go through it in order to recover.
Many of us have experienced physical discomfort or pain, along with extreme emotions, ranging from intense euphoria to crying spells and increased sensitivity.
The type of withdrawal and the way we each deal with withdrawal is as unique to
each of us. Some things we have found helpful are:
- Remember to give yourself a break. Do not expect too much from yourself. Understand that "productivity" and energy will probably be limited, if even present at all. It is normal to not be able to do as much as usual when going through withdrawal.
- Support is the key. Finding safe people to be around during this time is very important. Leaning more than usual on friends, family, and program is a good idea.
- Make special time to relax and do things you enjoy. Taking a hot bath, drinking tea, or taking a walk can all be helpful. The point is to take it easy.
Please note that this is not intended to be used as medical advice. If you have medical concerns please contact your physician.
What do I do now?
First, we suggest you attend meetings. Talk with individuals, and share with the group. Find a Sponsor and / or Recovery Partner and work the 12 Steps of S.L.A.A. We suggest starting work on the 12 Steps of S.L.A.A. as soon as possible. There are many additional tools and books that are beneficial as well; they are neither endorsed by or affiliated with our group or S.L.A.A. as a whole. Often we learn of books and tools from other members. Our Sponsors and Recovery partners are a valuable resource for this. We have listed some such tools here: http://slaaonline.org/tools/
What is a Sponsor? / How do I get one?
Simply put, a sponsor is a person in recovery with more time and experience than
ourselves who helps guide us through the 12 Steps of S.L.A.A. For more information on
how to get a sponsor and other suggestions visit:
If you have any other questions please do not hesitate to ask the group, or another
member. We are here to help. Please also note that we do not represent the fellowship
as a whole. If you are from the media or have a specific question about the S.L.A.A.
Fellowship as a whole please contact Fellowship Wide Services at: